[Apologising publicly can NEVER take back, said words.]

Can you take away someone's life, and then apologising to his family members later,hoping that you have been cleared from all sins??
Can you hurt someone's feelings, and then apologise to make that person feel better?
Can you wake up,only to realise that you have made a mistake,and apologise to make the situation go better?

And you certainly can't edit your blog,hoping that what you have said, can be forgotten.

Lines have been crossed.

No more all this nonsense.

---

I am back to hell.Period.

It was certainly an interesting weekend.To be able to drive here and there.Met up people whom I haven't been meeting.

Had lunch in NamFatt.
The only reason why Foo's driving a MyVi and I am not;
The only reason why Foo wears Gucci and I wear Giordano;
The only reason why Foo uses Samsung and I use Nokia;
The only reason why Foo is doing Law and I am doing Engineering.

I have to give credit to Namfatt.Food was nice. Place was air-conditioned. Prices were slightly higher. A variety of choices. A sum of waitresses.
I have seen NamFatt's evolution. From a small,ordinary shop which sells noodles, right now, Nam Fatt is fully air-conditioned, with lotsa variety of food,including steamboat.

*Foo, do I get some money because I did some promotion.??Hehhe..

 

Went to a friend's room just now.
Talked to her roommate.

She was telling me that she had to change because she was wet.

I reconfirmed her status by asking again,"You are wet?"

She looked at me, and nodded.

I asked how XXX performed. Was he good on bed or better on the floor..?

To which she replied: "The floor.Coz it was hard..Harder.."

Then I continued asking,: So,urm,..did you scream in orgasm or what?

And she said: "No, I didn't scream.I purred..

Wow..Purred..She actually purred..I wonder how that's gonna sound like.

 

I am sick of being teased all the time.
Everytime we touched the issue of transexuals, people tend to joke about my preferences.
So what if I am always seen in shirts and jeans? So what if I am a little rough compared to other girls?
So what if I do not bow down to whatever you guys say??
I am afterall, still a girl,whom feels comfortable with the type of clothes I wear, and the image I would like to potray.
I have feelings too, just so you know.

It's alright to joke about it once in a while, but if you kept harping on the same issue everytime we hang out, then,..I guess it's not wrong for me to get angry.
I am someone with a sensitive soul k?

I am not shooting just one person alone.
You peeps should know who you are.
Get a life, and stop messing with mine.
I can take casual joke, but if I keep quiet everytime, I assumed you would likely get the point and shut your fucking mouth up too.

These people, can be really good friends.
I didn't want to mention names here, but Ariff, I really am disappointed in you.
Each time we meet, you are always calling me a guy..this and that..
Just because I am more boyish than you are, doesn't make me any less than an ordinary girl ok?
He apologized and I forgave him.
I dunno la..I wonder what's wrong with UTP-ians..
Just because I do not wear a skirt, doesn't mean I am not a girl??
You stereotyped monsters!!

Diu.
Now, I just wanna cry my hatred away.

[if you guys really wanna see me turn into a guy, by all means, Maybe i SHOULD]

I keep a lot of things inside me actually.
Though I may seem to blab about almost everything under the sun, yet there're some things which I didn't choose to keep inside, but I have no other choices but to let my female EGO take its toll.

Some people were there for me all the time. And I thank them for doing so everytime I feel low..And i do appreciate them for all their love and care. However,there's bound to be one or two who do things which IRKs me..I try very best to move all these aside, and try to focus on the present instead. I kept giving excuses to myself that they were there for me during my saddest moment, and the last thing I should do is to be an ass for ruining everything.

But I can't tahan no more. I kept myself in silence all these while..hoping that the feeling would go away. So many times, I tried to gather my courage to let you know that I hate you for doing so..but I can't find the best moment to tell you and for one thing, I don't know how to begin.

I don't know what to do. Let you know and be done with it.Or keep quiet and wait till the day I can't stand no more.
*Yen Chiew, told ya I am going to a slow depression state..

[Just because we are no longer together, doesn't mean I have no more feelings..]

Had statics today..as usual.
In just a semester,a mere 4 months, we had 3 different lecturers, from different rankings.
The current one has a doctorate in hand: Dr.Fuad.
I don't know where he's from;judging by his slang, could be from Indonesia, or could be from Malaysia itself.
He, does not seem to be a Doctor at all..
He cracks up the funniest joke, and he smiles all the time.
He made a pretty good impression in the beginning, though we thought he didn't know how to smile.
He smiled when he greeted us, and Joshua was like, "Whoa! This guy can smile one ah~~"

Taken when he was doing something funny. Didn't want to make it so obvious, which explains the distorted look of the picture.

He gave us a question to do today. Teaching us something about shear and distributed moment--I think la~!..and none of us knew the exact way to do the calculations so he made a sudden statement.

" I bet you guys spend a lot of time studying.There's this old Malay proverb.

' Banyak belajar, banyak lupa;
Sikit belajar, sikit lupa;
Tak belajar, tak lupa. "

Wahliao. Bad influence.

 

Picture taken out of randomness. I see this every day, because the Civil Faculty is the last building in the other block. Lotsa land still not being used up yet.

***

Eh woman..
You are starting to annoy me already.
You are nice at times, but horrible all the time.
Go get yourself a full set of mirror and have a nice glimpse of yourself.

Signed,
Angkhian

p/s: I shall get you another set of mirrors if yours happened to crack. 

Finished tennis at 11 tonight.
Rushed to an interview for Euphonious 2007--one of the major projects that ICC has organized.
Didn't know which department to join,..saw Criscentia's department rather empty, so went and sat for the interview. Still had no idea until I sat down and her head of department told me that it was 'TICKETING'.
Came up with some kind of reasons of why I wanna join this and that..
She asked me the usual questions,which one of them is

"What do you think is your best quality to qualify for this department?"
Hehe..I think I am rather responsible..(could see Criscentia was going to burst any moment)..Punctual, a team player and quite committed with such activities..(I think Criscentia was going to roll on the floor any moment then)

"What do you think is your biggest weakness then?"
I think I talk a lot.

I think I am going to fail that interview. However I did try to go for Ceremony and Protocol. Tsae Yng was incharged, so the interview session was rather casual between both of us. Still, I do not think I was serious enough. Can't blame me, after 3 hours of tennis session, don't think anyone is sane enough to answer any questions properly,right?

Only managed to leave the interview room around 12.30am. I was sweaty and yes, I know I stinked up the room,Quickly went back for shower,Switched on my computer, logged onto MIRC and changed my nick to 'seeker_lapar'

I was in fact,rather hungry after tennis. Sharon asked me to eat something after no one wanted to go for mamak. I told her what is there for me to eat,no more maggi mee: I had that for dinner already. I was planning to eat bread just to stuff myself and get some sleep, when MIRC beeped. She send me a message telling me that she was hungry too, and asked me whether I would want to go for supper with her. Since it's the fasting month, the cafeterias are open till the next morning.So, off I went to change and yeah, we had supper together.

It was fun.Interesting.And she can't stop teasing me.

Only reached the room around 2am.Kinda tired but loadsa work waiting for me to complete them.[Think I ought to do some plagarism..hehe]

I am still stuck with my office plan.I need help. Anyone knows autocad and is willing to help me with my Final project which takes up 40% of my overall marks?

I promised you an 8-course lunch/dinner after that.

Those who know me since primary school, how many of you out there have actually heard me muffing out foul words??

I bet no one will actually raise their hands because vulgar words are never part of my vocab.Seriously.
I don't even use them no matter how unhappy I am, or how overjoyed I am.Never have I practised such words till I came here.

I always knew I get influenced very easily. I have my own stand yet I get swayed along the line. These few days, having to mix around with peeps, my vocabulary expanded..very much.

Due to the stressful life I lead, and the abnormal sleeping hours with the atrocious workload..plus a few 'influencial' people I hang around with, words which have come out lately are unpleasant to some ears.

"Diu"
"Fuck"
"Fuak"
"Fah-kis-zan"

The latest word which I creatively came out with was a combination of "fuak" and "fuck" is "FUCAK".

She and her group of friends have already lectured me with such usage of words. Sigh.Way to go man!.

I know, i know..I shouldn't be saying such words and I vow to stop using them. As if hand gestures are not bad enough..hehhe..
Time to bertaubat and start using proper words instead.

No more FUCAK-ing..(hopefully)

Everything is due next week.
Tests, Double assignments and projects.
..and WHAT AM I DOING NOW??

Watching Grey's Anatomy Episode 2.
Wahliao..

Joshua always says, "Don't worry about Angkhian. She's the calmest among all of us. The paling relax one."

Cheh.I tension that time, no one knows ok..Only I know.

Mid-Autumn Festival last night. The usual thang to do was go get some mooncakes, sit down with a few friends, had some chinese tea brewed, and admire the moon. However,due to the haze, nothing could be seen.

No stars.No moon.

 ICCUTP and the chinese society organized something as mooncake festival station games and also 'a-walk-around-the-campus-holding-the-lantern' after that. With nothing else better to do, we decided to stop by and support the lantern-carrying thing. Everyone was supposed to carry a tanglung and walk around the field. [I didn't know what was the purpose of doing so--walking around aimlessly with a tanglung in hand??]

Hmm..however, I didn't want to spoil the fun, so joined in the fun. It was nice to see almost 1/4 of the chinese population turned up for the event. Most of them who were still pretty junior in this campus. It was certainly obvious that not many seniors turned up for this: 'Too Old already'

In the beginning, I was pretty hyper. I was talking, jumping,hopping and running around. It was when my spirit/hyperness died together with the night, that everything seems boring to me. Our batch of people {July '05} can be seen to be divided into 2 groups. One which is super-openminded and one,which urm..doesn't want to do anything un-cool. It's just so happened that the peeps I mix with everyday are the ones who doesn't do anything crazy..and the peeps whom I sometimes mix with, are the crazy ones. It was so confusing to mix around last night, because my own group of peeps were half-dead;not willing to be siao-siao..and I was so hyper last night.

Sigh. It's either I have to mix with more siao siao people or turn my group into crazy people.

By the way, did I mention that she wanted to get me a tanglungowerpuff girl??..hEHHE..but she couldn't find it which was too bad la..hehe..but she didn't help me light up my tanglung..carved a smile and smacked it directly onto my face. =)

I was hoping for a nice,long mamaking session last night. Though I was tired after being in Ipoh the whole day, I thought I wouldn't want to miss such bonding session with my friends, but yea, put your hopes too high, it get crushed in the end. (Ya know what I mean?)

*this whole entry might turned out into one large chunk due to the connection in the campus. Sorry.

I have always felt pretty alone, for the past one year.

It's a SATURDAY night and guess where am I stuck at?..
In the middle of Tronoh, in campus, completing my assignments.
And no one is free to even talk to me online.

Though i furiously scanning through my msn list, and MIRC chatrooms to see whether I can talk to but unfortunately,not a single soul was in. Either they are spending their weekends with their other half or they are out partying like mad.

Quite sickening-my life is.

Whoever says u don't need a boyfriend/girlfriend for life?
I envy those who are out there, either talking to their partners via long-distance calls or those who are snuggling in the park tonight..Those who are watching a movie and those who are just chilling out..

I guess I would just have to cuddle myself to sleep tonight.And perhaps cry myself to sleep silently..

;(

Am currently doing this on Microsoft words beforehand..
Was so afraid that if I do this in tabulas straight, the connection might died on me and I have to rewrite the whole damn thing again..

 

(Don’t know whether this font type might turn out in tabulas or not)—I am using ‘PUSSYCAT’ font by the way..

 

 

I really don’t get the obsession of people lately to watch ‘Devil wears prada’..For the fact that I can’t even get the storyline myself. It was so typical that I wonder, what’s the connection between the title and the storyline itself.
Wokey, call me someone who’s not sophisticated to understand sucha movie with such a nice title.

 

 

Since we have this thing [DC++] in the campus where all students are able to do file sharing and everything, there’s practically everything to be shared here including xxx rated stuffs ok..
So, since Ipoh is a pathetic ulu town with not many movies in TGV and GSC and there was no ‘Devil wears prada’..the only option was to get a pirated vcd or to travel down to KL for the 2-hour show. We took neither options but instead, Carina found the movie circulating in the campus.
So,there we were, 4 of us, sitting at the dining table, with Sharon’s laptop blasting, we were there,eyes glued on the laptop screen. Unfortunately, I find the movie very disappointing with a simple yet predictable storyline..Should have spent the time doing statics assignment instead..

 

 

Next movie: Rob-B-hood.

 

 

One Tree Hill Episode 2 is out and Grey’s Anatomy episode 3 is out..Woo-hoo..
Wahliao, finals less than a month and here I am, catching up with 3 series at one time.

 

The OC and The L word better don’t come out yet..hehe..

 

 

Lucas in OTH is rather good with words. I love the way he pen his thoughts down. He seems to be able to find the suitable words to express his situation and feelings..Such vocabulary and style is something I lack of the most.

 

 

Shall write more tomorrow. It’s 3 am and look what I should be doing instead.

 

=)

 

 

Have a nice morning.

 

 

 

 

 

I wonder what's wrong with the internet connection lately. Can't seem to load the page correctly; Can't even access to my own email page.. I just realised I have made drinking a habit of mine. Each weekend, I have this sudden craving for alcohol lately..Whee~~~.. Today, I drank because I was getting upset over something.. In a happier note, Finally found out that Michelle Lee is no longer in the 'singles' clan. So happy for you though..=) Oh man. Things are turning sober. Assignment due tomorrow.Test on Wednesday. Great!

So grateful that Michelle Lee introduced me to Jack's Mannequin songs that is..Hehhe..and these days, the only songs I have been listening to are his songs..

=) *Raised finger, dancing along the 'LA LA LIE' song..

Something is so wrong with the connection these days. I can't even load my email accounts which is a bummer really..Considering Rotaract has the new system with its board of directors that online meetings are held everyday..and look what's happening to the connection. I can't even check my personal mails!!..

Today was like any usual Mondays except that the class from 2-3 was cancelled. The stupiak lecturer decided to go on a leave because Tuesday happens to be a public holiday.Gosh~ So grateful that there's actually a holiday on Tuesday, more time for me to prepare myself for Engineering Maths 3-Differential Equation test2.

Damn~! Everyone has this tension-ing look on their face now..and yeah, I am still able to watch every single episode of the latest released series. What is wrong with me man!?? Where is the old-khian self??

Yeesah told me that there's alot of Khian-ness which I need to let people know about.Hahha..I wonder what's Khian-ness..Do I even have anything to share with people in the first place.

Life is getting pretty miserable for me these days. Had an argument with mum and dad which sorta dragged from last week. This explains why I didn't go back for the weekend last week, and most probably the week after and the next..Yeah, probably Raya too. Now I am seeking refuge to spend my sem-break either than home itself. Told Elangesh that I would be available to help out the organizing commitee for the District Team Building of Rotaract in Gombak on the 15th December. I think the lesser time I spend at home, the more my parents are going to know how I feel instead.
I do not really like being 19..You know what it's best for you but yet being under 21, automatically sums up that you are still not mature enough to handle certain issues. At times I think my parents forget that I'm no longer 6 years old and I can handle certain issues myself already.

Can't wait when I finally reach the big TWENTY ONE of age.
I can't wait for the time when I am no longer financially dependant on my parents..

AAARRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH~~~~~

Simple lil things irk me these days.So easily I must say.Must be the haze..
Can't breathe easily, was so afraid that I would die in my sleep--shortage of clean air..If life could be easily terminated as said,..I wished it was that easy for me..

I miss MP already.Going to have a 2nd can of beer tonight.Just to make its IMAGE go away..

My 600th entry.
Am doing this in a hungry state.
It's 1.26 in the morning and I need food!!..

 

Struggling with the reality of life.
Exams are one part of the hell in life. I actually have to put my computer somewhere else and spreaded all the papers around my table. It looks like a warzone from here..(sorry, can't take pictures of the state of my table now due to the extremely snail-ly connection in UTP nowadays)
DE test is at 5 tomorrow but yet, everyone's having a frown on their faces. Obviously this is the last chance to redeem ourselves before finals.
Blame it on us--for not concentrating 100% in lectures all the time..

Mua family came down to UTP today to bring me out to Tanjung Tualang for lunch. Hehhe..I knew it..Daddy was going to pujuk me any time soon now..just that this time, it took such a longer time..Hehhe..He knows I couldn't be mad for long..hehe..I couldn't too..=)

[*sue me! I am a spoilt brat!*]
Oh wait..no, no I am not a spoilt brat, just so happened to be the only daughter of my parents and my parents' girl..hehe..

Bro bought a new MP4 player which is 90% slimmer than mine. Cis!!..
Told dad I want to get an Ipod..Hehhe..I knew my chances were low, but hey, I tried at least..No, he didn't agree to it though..
Bummer~~!

Oh boy..it's 9.31pm now..Guess it's time to hide this DISTRACTION of mine and start going back to the books..Going back to the battlefield..and yeah..I need to get myself a bath soon..
Blogging obviously help to loosen me up abit..Hahha..ok ok..ought to go back to my books now..NOW..ooo...now la..now...now.....(i should probably stop typing..)

Err.. saw this on MIRC..thought it should be posted here in my blogpage.
And so I quote:

" ..A love is
  easy to feel, so hard to explain,
  so easy to get, so hard to let go,
  so easy to spell, so hard to define,
  and yet everyone is still taking the risk..."

So true at times, man...Hehhe.. I am still happy for the newly-wed coupled..=)

 

Tennis was well, erm..Tennis-ish today. The coach thought us 'smashing' today and all of us had to line up in one line,while waiting for him to hit the ball to us. Then, one by one, we have to run for the ball and then hit it hard. We kept doing the same thing for an hour plus, till I got so fed up, I joined the 3 other malay guys who were playing at the other court. So, there were we, 3 guys and Me, the only Chinese girl, and we started to have a real tennis game. I was kinda shy to join them at first, seeing that my tennis skills are pretty limited..but they were very encouraging..I had so much fun that I would love to play with them again. Not forgetting to mention that there's this one guy who looks cute..kept smiling each time he serves the ball to me..=) Wow! It has been a long time since I last felt my badminton racquet. Used to remember that in the past, I was so afraid of holding the racquet because it would mean long, hard training after that..but now, I only get to feel my tennis racquet once a week and my badminton racquet kept inside the badminton bag..I am kinda afraid that I wouldn't be able to hold it properly the next time I decided to play badminton again. Whoa~Wouldn't that be scary then?

After tennis, quickly had a shower, went to her room. She cooked red bean already..and she gave me some..It was nice, to have tasted what she cooked for once..I told her that it wasn't necessary to add any sweetener as i could feel my sugar level rising already.. Not good la, because I have diabetic in the family background.Her actions were sweet..and I have never tasted such nice red-bean soup before..(oklar, abit exagerrated already la..) ..but she was really nice..A nice friend and a senior.

After that, quickly rushed back to join Tzeyang, Punchee and Carina for a session of mamak. It has been a long time since the last time I went for mamak with them..We didn't talk for long because of the heavy workload approaching now.. Right now, I am here, blogging away..DE test was fine for me. I was among the last person to leave the examination hall but what the heck, I am a bit slower than the others..
Desperate Housewives Season 3 has already been released. Circulating in the campus now and yeah, added into the 'must-watch' series list already.Damn~~ Finals less than 3 weeks and yeah, here I am doing such things again..

I have been listening to this amazing song on radio lately but can't seem to get the title of it. Finally found it. Kevin was so nice to send it to me.

'Hate Me' by Blue October

I hate god-damn pretenders. And I don't think sarcastic jokes easily. Don't think because I choose to keep quiet, doesn't mean I don't feel anything deep within. Suckers!!

---

Felt so lonely being alone in a big house.
I miss those times when I am alone and down, I can dial his/her number.
When I need a shoulder to lean on, I can always count on his/her shoulder.
But gone were these days.
Now I am here all alone, with no one by my side.
Oh no, I am being sober again..

Must stop being so pathetic!!~

In a happier note, Raya holidays are nearing and going to get a haircut soon!

Blogging specially for Mel, who has already decided what to get me for my birthday next year.. It's alright Mel, I don't need a Gold-platted bra.. All I need is just these:-

or

Mel, I promised you that these are highly-affordable..Trust me,weh!
I shall thank you in advance..

---

Things I get when I feel so low in life..Cute boh?!!

*I really blame the other users for the superb slow connection rate these days!

I have just screwed my Engineering Graphics test 2.
I knew it, I just knew it!.
Sleeping at 2 in the morning, and promising myself to wake up 2 hours later to do some practising wasn't a good idea.
In fact, it was a bad idea.

I turned up for the test, with no practice of whatsoever.
I know nothing about EXTRUDING,BOUNDARIES,SUBTRACTING.
All I can remember is a little bit of this,a little bit of that of what we have done during lectures.
So when the demonstrator announced that our test question was to draw our handphones, I was like "WHAT?!"

Every single details were to be noted down.
Sounds easy, yeah..listen to me carefully again.
EVERY SINGLE DETAILS.

Suddenly Nokia 3310-the brick-lookalike phone seems gorgeous to me.
Why do I have to use a NOKIA 3230??
With all the smooth curves around the edges,with all the sophisticated buttons..and aarrgghh..so many details...

And yeah, I didn't manage to EXTRUDE it properly. Fuck.
There goes 15% of my Final paper.

Current status: Sleepless Night Ahead.In need of sleep and more time to complete my assignments.

Geology sucks by the way. Remember we had to do 44 lab reports on rocks?..
I have 21 maps to complete before RAYA. Oh wait, which is NEXT blardy week!!

21 god-damn MAPS.Geological Structural maps.Wtf are those?
Why would we want to use those for??..

 

Am deep in thoughts at the moment.
Deciding whether to leave Rotaract..
I know, ..we have been through this topic before but then again, I am still in the club, as one of the directors.

Director--what a nice position which comes with a nice name.
But whatever that comes along with it, is not even close to NICE.

Just yesterday, we had an emergency board meeting.
For what..you tell me.
I went late, due to several reasons.
Classes were jam-packed yesterday, and when I reached my room, all I wanted to do was to drop dead on bed.
TPW assignment is due next week, which is the main concern now of my colleagues..Which then explained the insufficient hours of sleep I get.
Statics Assignment which was due today, TODAY itself was already sucking me dry.
And I was not even prepared for Engineering Graphics test today.

So, DO tell me where was I supposed to fit in an emergency slot of Rotaract meeting?.
Honestly, NOWHERE.

Alright,maybe in the past, I would be so hyper in attending the meetings because I would be able to see San Nien, Suet Yeng and Tsae Yng.However, things have changed and I am stuck there, rather alone..Everytime I hear that meetings are to be held soon, I shiver..(for real)..I don't have the excess time to spare especially when I am in Undergrad level.

I know everyone has 24 hours each day. I know the PRESIDENT has 24 hours, the Secretaries have 24 hours, the small small potatoes have 24 hours but what makes me different from all of them? ALL of them?
They do not need time for their studies. They have good time management. They do not have to watch series. They do not have a blogging habit like I do. They do not have friends. They do not have mamak sessions late at night. They do not have a heavy timetable like mine.

So many things I have which they don't. That explains why I need to fully utilize my 24 hours, in fact I would love to have more that 24 hours..

One thing which I never like is the idea of having emergency meetings. There goes my resting time. There goes my plan in the first place. There goes my life, sucked by Rotaract Club.
I thought Clubs are there to release your tension and stress. Clubs are there to let you know more people and to hang around when you do not want to see books anymore.
I thought Rotaract Club was fun,..until I get into the office.
I am totally like a worker now,just that normal working people time in from 9-5, mine is from 9-12 midnight.
The time difference may not be anywhere near 9-5 but trust me, that 3 hours is enough to kill you softly.

I walked into the meeting room late last night, only to see glarings from the hi-comm and the Rotarian Advisor itself. I KNOW I WAS LATE LA-WHAT TO DO?I was already late and I wasn't late on purpose la! I have other important things to tend to..I kept quiet, holding my statics assignment , scrambled to get a chair for myself and sat down. I wasn't irresponsible myself. I did tell the secretary that I might be late and she said it was fine.

FINE my ASS la! Go talk behind my back after that. You think I don't know ah?!!!

I sat down, with nothing to report about my avenue. I decided to utilize my time, and continued with my assignments instead. I know I was rude but heck! YOu think I wanna graduate with Rotaract Cert or my degree cert?.YOu tell me la, wise ol' one.. Throughout the entire meeting, the rotarian and the president kept stressing on punctuality.

Punctuality. I know. I go for classes 5 minutes early. I go for anything 10 minutes early. I PURPOSELY GO FOR ROTARACT MEETING 30 MINUTES LATE.Duh~ SURE got reasons only go late mar.

I can ensure you that I love Rotaract very much. I am dedicated and all..but not till this extend. I can't sacrifice my 4.0 because I 'work' for Rotaract. All I am asking is tone down the meeting hours abit..and the frequency itself.
So many meetings.So little time. So much money out. So little money in.

Always talking about money coming in, money coming in. YOu think all B.O.D are scholars hor?

I know the Vice President reads my blog. And I hope he would keep this to himself. I wouldn't want this to be one of the issues in meetings. It's ALREADY very long,do not add additional issues.

Fucking fed-up with WORK.
 
I desperately need a holiday soon. A break from all of these. A break from pretenders. A break from soul-suckers. A break from you: Your image all the way from MELbourne.

I just can't help telling myself how much I miss you.I hate to admit this but yes, I miss you very much.

This has gotta be the longest discussion I have ever had.
We were in the common room from 9 onwards and the clock is still ticking.
Yeah, we are still here, on the couch..and there's an Internet Port which I just took ShiouTing's cable to connect to the net.
So, right now, I am here, blogging when I am not supposed to, when I am supposed to think of proper sentences for the formal report. Whoa~Talk about splitting into half.!

Told ya blogging is a bad habit of mine.

Everyone's eyes have already turned red. Shiou Ting has been laughing out of the blue. Tee Hooi was doing an interpretation of one of the new-comers,which we nick-named as 'B-worm'. Harpreet is doing all the typing with a short memory span.

Current status: Hungry. Damn hungry.

Just slipped and twisted my ankle when I came out from the bathroom. Hurts like god-know-how. No tears though. Guess I am growing up already..

The meeting ended at 1.05 in the morning.
Still early, I supposed.

Staggered back to my room.
Remember I said about my twisted ankle? I bet it's gonna be swollen tomorrow.
Man, it still hurts like hell..

Was hungry. Boiled water, hoping to get a decent meal of Maggi..Didn't feel like eating Instant Mee Goreng after the water was boiled. Instead, I went to get my pack of Cereal grains and start munching it. Halfway through, I noticed that little little ants were crawling on my desk. It was an unusual sight because I normally see bugs only but ants,.--never!. So, I quickly see where it came from and for the love of God, the whole packet of Cereal was infested with ants. Heaven's sake!..I ate quite a handful already..Darn! That explains why it tasted so different. I thought it was probably due to the hunger, that it tasted differently. Quickly dispose the bag of cereals and went back to my room.
Ended up not eating anything for the night.

One more week before the Raya holidays are here. Should be a easy-going week, considering the only thing to hand in is TPW assignment. And the test we would be having is tennis practical test that requires NO studying or memorising. =)

Can't go back for Raya though. The whole family is not going to be here for the weekend. DAMN! It's the campus for me then.

Remind me to remind my dad to give me an advance. Damn!~ Ran out of cash just last week..
I am so fucking screwed..~

 

I don't know whether you are just pretending.
I don't know whether you are just there to mock me.
I don't know what you do behind my back.
I don't know what I did to deserve you.
I don't know what you want.
I don't know what you need.
I don't know whether to believe in you.
I don't know whether to trust you.
I don't know what you told the others.
I don't know what you said.
I don't know who you really are.
I don't know who you are.
I don't know.
I just don't know..

I am so innocent and naive that even when I was being fooled, I still think it's alright.
Fuck.

4 maps in a mere hour.

My eyes have swollen up.
Sad.

Wait..It's Sunday.
The day when my drinking session is resumed.
Yay!~

Just finished the 3rd Episode of Desperate Housewives.
Carina was right, it's addictive.
And now I can't wait for the 4th Episode.

I actually have exemption for tomorrow, the day after and the next..
EDX18 on the way already.
On the 17th and the 18th.
Yahoo!~ Gotta be a laid-back week then..
Yeha!!

Shall write more tonight during the discussion.
Teehooi said: Strictly no blogging tonight!
and Jiamin slapped me.....................virtually.

Damn!

I forgot to write about something so important..Something which Spiced up my life lately..Haihs..
Egyptian Night..Held in MultiPurposeHall.

Girls: Huiching,ME,TeeHooi and Joshua..Oooppsss...
Boy: Joshua Ling

Me, Huiching,Pinky, JunJia, JiaMin, TeeHooi,Melvin and Pangkor

We were served with Egyptian food which tastes awfully different from Malaysian food. It was certainly a nice experience as we do not have to travel all the way to Egypt to taste their delicacies.

We definitely saved a bundle in air fares!

Sitting: KianSeng,Jin Min, Kwong Hoe, Kian Chiew
Standing: Joshua, Huiching,Pinky, TeeHooi, Me, Jiamin.

I know we dressed too simple for such an event. All the organizing commitee were smartly dressed in shirts and tie, and the girls wear formal dress and all..On the other hand, as you can see, we only wear t-shirts and slacks..Hahha..can't blame us..The attire of the night was casual smart.

The food were served buffet style and everyone were hooligans then. We managed to get a small portion of food because everyone was fighting to get the food.Sigh. It was fine for me, since I wasn't keen in stuffing myself that much.
(Yeah right?!)

Hahha...Check out the print on my shirt.
"DRINK LOTS OF WATER"

Kenneth said I was being mean. I shouldn't be wearing that during the fasting month.It's provoking.

It's THREE in the morning..I have just finished watching SEPET from my computer..WOKEY..i know, the movie has been out for AGESSSS and I have just watched it 15 minutes ago..I am a bit slow..but I had been longing to watch SEPET before it was even out in the cinemas..I never found the partner to watch with and I couldn't find the time to get piracy VCD..So, after seeing KEEhui bought GUBRA which is the 2nd movie after SEPET, it totally pulls me back to when I wanted to watch that movie. Got the movie from SheaTeng and yeah, I can't stop watching it though my eyes were already watery..

Shiouting didn't like the movie AT ALL..but I do. I find the movie was fine and everyone acted so naturally..There was obviously no practising done coz if there were, their actings must have suck man.I just love that movie, though I can't put my finger on it. And tomorrow, I am going to get the GUBRA cd from KEEhui..Hehhe...the sequel..I wonder whether JAson died or not. But if he did, why was he able to answer Orked's phone?..

Oh gosh, I can't sleep tonight ge lar..

We came out with one conclusion during the discussion tonight.
"Guys are not stupid, the girls are just smarter"

No offence as it was just a theory made. Just find it rather amusing that my colleagues are able to come out with such remarks.

Sigh. I miss Pooiting. We used to talk a lot over the phone.
Can anyone I know, tell her that I miss her please?..

Holla~ I think I'd better get some rest. I have loadsa things on hand tomorrow and yeah, look what I am doing now.

*Yiling, glad that you have found your car.

Guess what's this PERSON trying to do?

(A) Jumping off the building
(B) Checking out the scenery
(C) Getting some air
(D) Trying to find civilization

Shall reveal the answer when the time comes.

Woke up at 6.50 this morning.
Got up only at 7.15 a.m.Looked at the clock stated on my phone.
Jumped up SLOWLY,only to realise I have 10 minutes left to get myself ready.
Struggled to the bathroom, clean myself up and yeah, went to change.

Today's attire: Formal
Reason: EDX 18

While changing,Harpreet called. Asked whether I can drop her at the main hall now. I was supposed to pick Peichie up but she wasn't ready. I have this habit of not saying 'nO' so, I told Harpreet to wait. I changed as fast as I could and I drove her all the way there. Came back for the 2nd time, and picked Peichie up. Only able to reach main hall at 8 am.
Minggled around for a little bit. Check the time and shit!, it was already 8.30 a.m. I was supposed to send Pinky to Block 17 and I had to go to the main office beside IRC. That's like world's apart but yeah, having the car means you have gotta do this kind of cow-work.

--EDX 18 guestbook.

Everything was finally done at 9. Parked ourselves in mainhall for 3 hours. The job was to accompany the VVIPS walk around the booths.

Guess I am getting older.Stood for awhile and I was already complaining about backache. =)
Spent alot of time hanging around the ACTIVITIES corner due to the interesting games they prepared. There was this TYPING GAME which was fun as I DO type awfully fast..(with a lot of errors..hehe) but yeah..still..I managed to get my name recorded for the SECOND HIGHEST score.hehe..

Took a lot of pictures too.
Can't really upload them here today due to the stupiak connection.
Shall have a sneak peak though. Managed to put in a few pictures here and there but everything goes to somewhere else.

--My head of department, my senior, my friend, my ear, my shoulder.
*Chang, just so you are wondering..the answer is yes. Do not leave any comments though.

I went back for a quick nap at 2 pm. Woke up an hour later..to rush back to mainhall. However, there was a class at 5 pm so went for class.
Went out for dinner with her in Tronoh. Had lotsa fun talking non-stop.
Saw A and ST too.Haha..so happy for her..=)

--Jin Min,ME and Keehui

-- ME,JunJia and Pangkor

The day doesn't ends there. TPW assignment waiting for me.
Due date: Thursday
Countdown: Less than 36 hours to go

Need to return to mainhall tomorrow again. Sigh.
Another long day tomorrow.
Should I skip statics or not then?..

Current thoughts: Going to mamak later with her.
                          (Her treat)

--The girls.
   Sitting: Suet Yeng, Harpreet, Punchee.
   Standing: Peichie, ME, Xiao Qi   

--SomPhong and I

--From the top : Theepan, Chen, Gabriel and Kk.
                      All also with me la.                 

" i would like to extend my apologies to this particular person whom picture I have posted 2 entries ago. However I would not want to take the pic out from the blog, as I do not see the violation of privacy and yeah, no one knows who exactly the person is. But I do want to apologize for putting the picture online."

---

 

I love posting my entries early in the morning. Current time stated : 3.00 AM

The network connection is so much like the streamyx back at home. And the peace and tranquility is so wonderful. I wished I had more of this.

Just came back from mamak. Had this burger daging whilst she had one roti telur. I know she was craving for it for a long time and I had to bring her out for that. Felt so bad for not being able to get it for her after such a long time. We kinda talked for a while, and had to rush back as she was going to have a test tomorrow. A big one, I heard.

---

i THINK i have this dysfunctionality sometimes. Not to say it's dysfunctional,..wait wait wait..not that kind of dysfunctional..but err..how to say ah..a flawla..just put it that way..I can never ever say NO to a person.

Everytime people come and ask me for favours, I can never say no. I can never disagree. I can never back out. I don't mind helping people at times but it's times like these, that I felt myself being used. Well, come to think of it, I do not mind being used AT TIMES but in return, I hope people are able to be cincai with me also.

My principle in life : "I can be cincai with you, but u also must be very cincai with me"..

Correct, no?

I know, u can expect people to reciprocate all the time. There are people whom are only takers but seldom givers. There are also givers whom are seldom takers. I am not trying to say that I am this noble fella and all..and I know I have my own flaws too..I am sometimes the giver, most of the time taker..I am not perfect, certainly, and I do have mistakes. But people ought to learn, from the start..that living in a community means doing things much systematically. You want something, you have to give in something.

There's no free lunch in this world.

As I was saying, I do not mind helping out at times, but please don't forget about it. Please don't think of me as someone who is cruel and heartless, lazy and thoughtless, and of course, brainless..I am afterall, born with a kind heart and a willingness to help people out..Give some face la.!I can never say NO..(without a feel of slight guilty)

Damn~

SO sleepy. Excuse my grammars and meanings of sentences. Rather broken up..coz I am dozing off already.

Have a nice day ahead, peeps.

 

Great.Woke up at 9.30 a.m.
Missed the 8 am class, uncertain to go for the 9 am class..Feeling lazy to go for the 11 am class.
G-R-E-A-T.
Shall stay in today then.

Switched on my lappie, to type this application letter. For my techwrite assignment.
Took me less than 10 minutes to come up with one. Wow~~.

Need to go to the mainhall in less than 2 hours and I have yet to take my shower. Sat here, typing an entry while eating co-co crunch. Had this addiction to cocoa lately..and speaking of that, one of my housemates are making kuih batik today!..

*JAJA, it better be good to eat..!

I guess one more round of The Simpsons and I am good to go.
Great. Finals less than 2 weeks and here I am.
Doing this kinda things.

Tennis practicals tonight.
Looking forward to it.
I still remember the conversation we were sharing yesterday in EDX.

Me:: Die la. Tennis tomorrow night. Practicals.
PC:: Huh? Tennis only ma..Don't have to study also..
XQ:: Kind of easy la. Don't worry about it.
Me:: Nah, not worried also.
Josh:: Yalar, very easy one.Angkhian very calm one..
Me:: No lar..the coach said I played like Maria Sharapova mar..
Josh:: HAH?!!You are nowhere near Maria. You don't even look like her.
Me:: Aiyo..I PLAYED like her..
PC:: Then how come, you are still here geh?
Me:: Maria's manager can't terminate her contract.Must wait lor.

>>Speechless. Craps I come up with instantenously.

WHAAA..?!
You think I am someone who wait for you at foot and hand??
Fuckers~ Just because I don't know how to say NO doesn't mean I don't feel anything alright?

 

Quarrels are normal.
Squabbles happens all the time.
People fight due to different opinions in certain matter.
Some fight because they care.
I personally don't like the idea of quarreling because it brings out the ugly side of people.
Words are latched out accidentally. Daggers of stares are exchanged.

We tend to forget the other side of things. One bad incident, takes away all the good ones.We failed to acknowledge the good deeds that we received because we keep thinking about one bad seed.

What I hate most is being trapped in the middle of an argument.
I can't take sides; I can't keep quiet.
I can't pretend that I don't know, because I care.
I can't be someone who take two sides, because I am certainly not someone who's pretentious.
I do not have to pretend that I am up for either sides because I am not someone who does things this way.

Opinions are given, but not in favour.
What can I say?
Don't I have my own opinion in things?

I can't say I am sorry, but I am sorry for you.
For how things have turned out for you..but be rational. Be logic.
Think from multiple perspectives.
Anger is blinding,-i know.
But it doesn't permit you the license to come out with your own stories. It totally doesn't work that way.

 

I think UTP is cursed.
Every different semester, things turn out ugly at least once.
Why ah?

It happened in foundation 1st sem, it happened again in the 2nd semester, and now, we stepped into 1st year 1st sem, and it's sorta happening again.
Can't we all make peace at least, until we have graduated?..

Peichie said I was rather childish and immature. I have this thinking about people being friendly to one another, without any sort of motives, living harmoniously, exchanging kind words, etc..Alright, although I know people are never going to be this way after what I have gone through in FORM 4..but then again, I always give chances to people in this world, to show kindness..
I even told her that I hoped I could be the one changing humanity.

*Sometimes I think I ought to shut up and talk less. I have to learn to keep my opinions deep within, and never tell anyone. Because, you know what..No one wants to hear what I have to say..No one gives a damn. I guess RAYA is here for one thing. To let everyone calm down for a week...and come back, in hope that things would be better. 

Karen,
Movie on me tomorrow. Rob B hood.
=)

(_Peace offering_)

Signed,
Khian

I am back for a break.
One week of DEEPA-RAYA break..

Anyone wants to yumcha, hang out or just to see me..kindly dial this number : 0125951882

I am dead bored already.

Drove back with thoughts on how to spend my holidays in the coming ONE week.
Reached home with those thoughts vanished instantly.
Projects, Assignments, Tests, Due dates came gushing into my brain cells almost immediately.
Darn~ Guilty seeps in..

Things changed totally after my phone rang.
TeeHooi texted me, asking me whether I wanted to join them for a movie in Ipoh.
Why not?-the devil side of me asked.

Well, you know what they say about evil stands a higher chance of winning..
You know, those hindi movies where the bad guys win in the beginning..
Yeah, I guess that was what happened to me..

However I didn't join them for movie. Just managed to meet them for a while in a Japanese Cuisine Restaurant, and I had Cola. SeangYik was amused, asked me why  I ordered Cola in  Japanese Restaurant. Sigh. No money mai order Cola la.
Melvin Lau and LeeXiang were there with TeeHooi and HuiChing. It felt weird, having to talk to seangYik for the first time..and we sorta hit it off. There was no shyness and all.

I have no trouble in talking to GUYS or whosoever but why am I still so single?!
Oh man~~

Current music: FIR's new album

I remember I got hooked onto FIR because WaiYen kept harping about this band. Bought a Pirated cd(owh~,SUE me!) and tried them out. Can't press the 'STOP' button of my cd player since then. Hahha..

---

 

Now that EDX is over, I can't see her that much. No more excuses in looking for her. damn! EDX was fun. Looking forward to its post mortem when perhaps, some action-packed drama is expected.

---

 

Need to meet new people.
Anyone who knows anyone who wants to know me or knows anyone who you think I would want to know, can ask me out for a drink and a long session of talking.
=)

Wait, wait wait..i think i left something important behind in campus. My drink!!~~

AARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!...~

Posted an entry an hour ago and I am back to where I started.

Gosh!~ I wished I had my hands on my statics text book already. I need to crammed in 4 chapters of S-T-A-T-I-C-S and structured programming before the tests come in 2 weeks' time. So fucked up, really. I wished I was no procrastinator..\

Tzeyang was complaining that I have so much time writing. Dean commented about my entries being updated all the time. Carina said about unable to catch up with my entries even when she didn't go online for ONE day.
Hehhe, I wished I care, but yet I don't. I shall continue writing about my life and you shall come in here, read about it and enjoy.

Things to complete this DeepaRaya [specially for Freddy] :-

21 Geographic Maps.--3 tests--1 assignment--FINALS.

Goal of the sem :--> HAVE FUN,FINISHED ALL THE CURRENT SERIES..
                            Study smartly can get a GPA of 4.2.
                            Aiming high just in case...

Got restless in the cinema today.
Mel, Yeesan and I thought of spending a day together in Jusco, in hope that it would be a quiet day-out..But nope, nopsey..I saw so many little kids roaming around, either in pairs or in groups..Kids who are supposed to be in school at 11 in the morning.
I stepped inside Jusco, and already, juniors from MGS have been smiling to me. Mind you, I don't even know half of their names and people still knows who I am. That, leaves you a glowing sensation inside. It was then we found out that some schools have decided to have their holidays earlier so FRIDAY turns out to be a holiday for them. Darn~ and I thought UTP is the only instituition to do so.! Jusco was already crowded after we came out from the first movie: ROb B hood. Kids who dress too mature-like and us, elder kids who wear shorts and shirts only.

[ I think kids nowadays ought to slow down abit; dress more casually..Why expose everything when shorts and shirts are more convenient and serve its purpose compared to other clothings?]

Had lunch in Deli's and ice cream in Macdonald's. Walked around and had to go buy SOMETHING. That something took RM45.50 from my wallet.!!
It's hard for me to decide whether SALES is good marketing strategy because no one, no one can ever resist SALES. SALES is when it's a good time for business operators to clear their unwanted stocks and also to encourage people spend more.  I felt cheated..buying something out of the blue was not in my plans. Now, to come out with money to last me for 2 whole weeks, at least until my next pay comes  in.

Saw her in the cinema counter today with Jaime. It is kinda creepy as Yeesan just asked about them during lunch. See?!! I saw her, she shot me a glance, there was a moment we had, but the moment didn't last. I quickly looked away, while secretly catching glance of her with my corner eye.It was so sad; there was one time when both of us were very close and frank to another. I didn't know what happened and it was around 4 months of her not talking to me. And now, even when we met, I had to look away and pretend that we didn't know one another.

Shameful. 

Blogging has lost its uniqueness already?..
BAH!!

---

Something is so wrong tonight. Bro decided to follow us out for dinner instead.
Usually he sticks to NASI BUNGKUS all the time, but last night, he wanted to tag along. [Hallelujah!]
We had a great time, as a family. Like the olden days, when both my brother and I talk non-stop in the car. He tells me about his current issues and I kept quiet about mine, of course. Mum and Dad were cracking jokes, all of us were just so hyper last night. Bro was being super-gentlemen, opening doors for me and all..Hehe..and we really did have a nice session of chatting as a family.
I wished this would last.

We had our dinner in Bercham; the place where it's famous for porridge and we had our yumcha session near our place,but we did stop by in INDULGENCE to get some cakes and brownies.

Nice cakes and brownies available in INDULGENCE.
Average RM10 per piece, guaranteed satisfaction.
No money back guaranteed though, but seriously, worth splurging once in a while.
No regrets.

Mum mentioned that Beacon Point serves FRUIT CAKES of a price of RM52. She said she tasted rum in it and is worth trying. She told me she's going to bring me there tomorrow but nopsey, no time slots for her tomorrow.

Early in the morning, have to bring bro for a haircut. Then, have to rush to some friend's house for deepavali visit..after that,meeting up with Seong Chen in Jusco, and at night, accompanying grandma to someone's wedding dinner.
See..Fully booked.

Just got off the phone with Jeff. First time talking so long on the housephone after such a long time. The old record was 7 hours straight. But tonight, it was only 2 hours..with a break in between. Just not used to it anymore..probably the radiation was too great for the ol' me. Hahha..it was nice to have someone to talk to and to share my thoughts with. So fun that we hit it off fine. Been exchanging sms-es the whole night, even now..=)

Thinking of closing down this blog page. Too much privacy violation, too many secrets revealed. Can't even write about my fury and hatred plus anger. Aaaaarrgghh...Leave my blog, would ya?

HAPPY DEEPAVALI TO ANYONE i KNOW..WHO'S CELEBRATING AND NOT..
Usually the 2nd day or 3rd day of Deepavali, we would be heading to Dai's place.. but not this year..PLans no longer the same. I did visit one of the family's friend, had awesome mutton curry and chicken curry with one of those PUTTU mayam..Only had ONE murukku because it is rude to eat so much at once. So, nope, I didn't go for a 2nd piece. Cis!!~

Parents bought me to Beacon Point for tea today. First time. Located near Yeesan's place, the place didn't seem to be opening for business..Mum said they serve pretty nice food and she seemed to be so hype in going there, so we went lor. The first thing I saw when I opened the door was alot of tables and it was pretty crammed. The tables layout were terrible and if there were to be a lot of patrons, the place would be crammed up and the waitress would have a hard time walking around. Next I saw was the varieties of cakes available in the refridgerator. And I saw the most appealing thing of all : Tiramisu with the price of RM10.90.

The content was in a champagne-like glass. It looked tempting and absolutely sinful. Dad kept warning me about my flabby arms and bulging tummy; Mum kept warning me about my ass and thighs; The tiramisu kept asking for me.
The next thing I know, I said, "Could I have one tiramisu, please?"

Damn~! Temptation--->> Evil.

It was rich,..thick, and rich with rum. The first bite was whoa...I can felt the layer of cake together with a slight of whipped cream, travelling down slowly from my throat itself. The rum was so nice that it gave me a slight sensation. (no, not orgasmic but yeah..there was a tingly feeling though). The 2nd and 3rd bite gave the same results but came the 4th, I was already full. The rum started to sink in, and I didn't really like the taste of it. Bleechh!! I had to finish it anyway, the price was overwhelming..yea..

Mum's Laksa Lemak was nice!!Delicious..Trust me on this!..Dad's Nasi Goreng Ulam was different. I never had one of those before, it was so different but yet..it was nice..

---

Accompanied grandma to a wedding dinner just now.
It was my grandfather's godbrother's cousin's daughter's wedding in Tai Thong, Herritage.
It was held in the same ballroom when we went for Steven's annual dinner 2 years back. Brought back alot of memories as MP and I went in pairs.
[no, i didn't break down and ruin the dinner, no worries..]

Guess who I saw there, as the host of the dinner?
Kelvin Teh.
The guy who we always laugh at in Maziah's.
No..scratch that..The guy who was so good in Bahasa Melayu back then.

So, me and him are SORTA related in a non-relative way.

I was served with red wine, which my grandma kept insisting on taking it away, but i kept asking for it to come.Hahha.. The waitress was kinda torn apart, not knowing whose orders to follow. In the end, my not-that-closely-related-someone said it was fine for me to drink, as I have reached the legal age. The rest of the table mates were envious..as they were only 17 the max.. I was pretty quiet throughout the event,not knowing anyone there can be pretty torturous. There was this girl who was sitting across the table, she looks awesome and sweet..Send me a tingly feeling too..Wanted to say hie and start a conversation but there was this other girl, sitting next to her, kept annoying her and I felt kinda distracted to strike a conversation, so I gave up.
Owh~and I saw CheeSeng working as one of the waiters tonight. I didn't have a chance to say hie or something. Darn!

{* I think it's rather unappropriate to walk into someone's "house" and to comment about the owner's interior design and to tell how the house ought to be decorated or stuffs like that. Mind you, it's really up to its owner to decide what's best for his/her "house" and how he/she wants to do it.*}

***

Every time I smile, people says "Stop it!What's with your hamsup look?!"

Wha~~??

Weiern send me a text message before.
"bABI.Damn jin kak your face!"

HAH?!!Innocent benar!

One of my weaknesses which I find it rather disappointing is that I don't know how to pretend or act. If i don't like someone or I find something absolutely wrong, I would try to voice it out or if I don't, I would be really quiet and my actions would show that I am not in favour of that certain something or someone.

Everytime I tell people about my hatred towards someone or something, they would always ask me to ignore, or pretend that I don't care or just put up a mask,and life goes on from there. Aaah!~ I tried so many times, yet most of the time, i failed.

I keep quiet whenever I am unhappy. I can't pretend that I like this person when in actual fact, all I wanna do is to slap that person till die die. Oh man, if i were to be given a chance, I would wanna start anew. I would wanna ask my parents to send me for acting classes, or perhaps, join the drama society..and to learn acting skills. With that, I can always pretend and be nice to everyone.

Life is not hard really. Just that people you meet,.urm,they are different from you. Things get complicated, you can't handle situations and voila!~~ you said, "Life's hard!"

 

Can't take jokes seriously at the moment.
So hungry, and it's raining kucing dan anjing..I can't even get into the car outside..
Aaargghh..

I need food!I need food! I need food! (chanting goes on)

Owh man~ seriously, no more energy to type already.

I really hate someone who's getting on my nerves..but not at the moment la..coz really no energy already.

Since Raya is around the corner and like any other years, the only place to go for Raya celebration at night is to Izzati's place..So, this is an open invitation since Izzat asked me to pass the message around..

Tues night.Time still not decided.

Mission done!

I just realised that I write an average of 3 entries perday.
Whoa..That must be a lot in one whole day right?.
Which is,urm, let's see..3 entries perday, which makes 90 entries permonth which sums up to 270 entries peryear.
WOKEY..that's a lot..of crap in one blogpage of mine!!~

See? Random entry again.

I really need to go back to my project..sigh, just realised that the due date would be on next Monday. Man~,and I really need to get started with Statics. To be lying on the bed for 2 days in a row..is not how I planned my holiday to be.

=)

Err..anyone interested in makan-makaning? 

My phone rang out of the blue.
The name stated on the screen was even unexpected.
"Lydia"

Aiks?I answered the call immediately..,without any hesitation.
I thought she was in a situation or something like that, but turns out that she got too tired of studying, she decided to leave her books and enjoy RAYA-eve.
I went back to change and picked her up.
We reached Juso, and she had her dinner there-la..
Walked around when Yeesan came to join us.

Spent RM121.40 in a single night + RM50 from Yeesan&Lydia.
Total expenditure = RM171.40 in just ONE BLARDY night.
Don't think we even spend half an hour in that store.
FILA-don't even wanna go back la..
I entered the store, wanted to get bro a shirt..Expected cost=less than RM60.
In the end, while I was browsing through, there was this one sales girl who looked pretty..kept telling me about this offer..where you buy 2 shirts worth RM39.90 each..and you can buy the 3rd item, cheaper than its retail price, and you can buy another item worth RM25 each.
Damn. I ended up buying 4 items.
[no wonder the sales girl was hired la!]
can't help but felt alil cheated..=(

After dropping them back to their own homes, I was supposed to meet up with Yoke Yee after such a long time.
I have been talking to her online, that we decided to come out and meet up for a drink instead. Both of us had the same problem, not knowing who to call when we need to hang out, so, both of us now got kaki already la.
We met for supper at Salam Corner, where we spend 2 hours, updating one another about our lives..
We met HAH JIN WERNNE though when we were about to leave. Never changed la her..and she remembered the both of us..or perhaps, I was wearing a MGS shirt.
{she looks pretty awesome yea}

Reached home pretty late.Wah, kinda daring as recently there is a case about another missing girl in Ipoh. Happens to be my cousin's school mate..and the place where she was last seen, is very very near my area..plus it was around 2 pm, she was assumed to have gone missing..Scary yea, 2 in the afternoon, and already, people are being abducted..IPOH is no longer safe, with all the creeps around..I used to think that IPOH was a safe place, where everyone is friendly and the air is clean. Now, the air is no longer clean due to the haze and all, and ever since the raping case of the school teacher in Bercham, I totally have this thing against IPOH now.

Tomorrow's plans : Breakfast with Waizin at 10.
                           Raya visiting at Izzati's place at 8 pm.

In between, no other plans because I wanna do my projects already.
and perhaps, sleep for a while..(or maybe the whole day..)
lolz..

***
 

We have been exchanging text messages for over a month now.
Things gone a little furthur when I received a voice sms from him last night.
He sang a chinese song to me;which I believed that it was a love song..coz I was unable to hear clearly..
Does this mean something?

It got a little out of hand today.He wanted me to sing him a song too..How would I know what to sing and how to sing? So I told him to leave me alone. I think I have offended him a little.but yet, we are still exchanging text messages.. He wants to read my blog, but I don't really fancy him doing so..I don't want him to read about my past, and I just want to start fresh from now onwards.

Am I thinking too much?

Probably the 3rd time I have been watching the High School Musical on Disney Channel??.
[YEA YEAH, i HAVE disney channel on my ASTRO..and dad purposely subscribe it for me]

There was this line in the movie saying that,
"DEEP WITHIN, WE HAVE SOMETHING INSIDE WHICH WE WANNA LET IT OUT BUT WE ARE AFRAID TO DO SO"

I always think that everyone has a dark secret inside them which they would wanna share with someone or to the whole world. Reasons for doing so? Because they felt tired of keeping everything inside and may even go to the extend of pretending to be someone whom they are not. Things are often easier than said though. Not many are willing to accept what these people have to say, as it eithers go against the usual flow of humanity or simply, people do not accept such facts easily.
Often, we hear people commiting sucide or end up in a horrible state. Why? Do they have something inside, which they wanna let out but no one is willing to hear them out, which resort them in making such moves. Why?Why we as people are unwilling to accept the fact that not everyone is perfect. Not everyone is supposed to be like what we see on the tv set. People are different in a way that everyone's special in their own way.

Do you have something inside which you wanna let the world know about you but afraid to do so? Call this number : 012-5951882 and you shall be heard.

It has been a normal tradition to go to Izzati's place every year during RAYA.
I think her parents kept seeing the same faces each year, and they can actually remember our faces. =)

>>The usual faces you will see hanging out in Izzati's house every RAYA.
>>> SIEW MEI, IZZATI, NIZA, DAI, LYDIA AND ME.

>>Us again, in a different position angle.

I think I am only able to meet Siew Mei and Izzati once a year. It's only RAYA when I am able to meet up with Izzati especially. Glad that this open house of hers, are able to bring us together for an updating session of our lives.
Usually mine doesn't need any updating, she reads everything from my blog page.Darn~!!

WHOOO~~
I seriously enjoy the connection here in UTP now, when all the students have left the campus..and I was supposed to be doing my project back here instead.
Since TeeHooi hasn't waken up yet, and I am here, stuck with no idea what to do next, decided to try out the internet connection here.
Pinky commented that the connection was so fast that she couldn't catch up replying all the instant messages..Whoa~That is pretty fast for UTP's connection.
Ok, since I am done uploading new pictures in my friendster and other blogpages, I am left here with nothing better to do, but write another random entry.

Random-serandomnya.

Parents arrived early this Morning, sempat give me morning call at 7 something, telling me that they are on their way.
"Come back mai come back lorrr..Don't need to tell me..Siao ah!?7 something you call home..Wanna sleep...grrrrr...."
The next thing I know, someone knocked on my door, when I checked the time, it was already 10.45 a.m. OKAY..parents must have sped on the road.

3 Nights,they have left my stupiak brother with me. Now I understand the agony my parents have to go through everyday. Si beh tak tahan man!..Although he can be really nice at times, but most of the time, can be an ass to me. Damn~!

I really need to start doing my work already, or else can't go back during the evening..and have to stay overnight here. The sight of the house, disastrous! Ants crawling everywhere, uncleaned pots and pans near the sink, waste toppling over the bin, unfinished food not cleared on the table..Iyeerrrrr...Faster leave better la...wanna go back to home where everything's probably cleaner..

*Teehooi ah teehooi, faster wake up la....*

Finally sat down and had a proper dinner with my family tonight.
It was rare, as I have said, that bro decided to tag along for a meal..Parents were vegetarians for 9 days, and my brother and I are meat-eaters, so we compromised on BANANA LEAF..wokey, technically, we weren't eating banana leaves, it's actually rice served on banana leaves..

It's actually your meal served on banana leaves as shown above..with side dishes such as the preserved cucumber+onion+pineapple, some (curry+tomato paste?) and mashed curry lady fingers on a banana leaf. That's food for vegetarians though.

For meat eaters, you can actually order chicken, mutton or fish to go with it. *Lip-smacking* I tell ya!

They used to serve the food with real banana leaves, which actually adds to the aroma and all, I think the food kinda tastes better..But now, the 'banana leaves' are actually not banana leaves..(?) but only plastic with a layer of wax on top of it. Since leaves are hard to come by nowadays, that they have to look for other alternatives. Food still taste the same though but less aromatic?..

Besides banana leaf rice, there are also a wide range of other indian food available. With nans up to vadai, all sorts of paper waffles and different type of curries, the food is enough to fill up your tummies, leaving a satisfactory smile on your faces.
I didn't have any banana leaves, but instead, I tried their ROTI ROMALI which is quite similar to chapatti except it's nicer, I guess. It came with 2 different type of dips which was placed in 2 cute sorta tiny bowls, which wets up my appetite,really.  Dad suggested me to have it with their famous TANDOORI chicken, where the taste is nowhere near V4 cafe's TANDOORI-chicken-if-that's-what-you-call-them. There, their TANDOORI chicken tastes abit like charsiew but the meat is definitely tender with a nice smokey flavour.

Their drinks ranged up from the normal drinks you get from the apek kopitiam right up to the normal drinks you can get in mamak stalls. Except they do serve lassi here, and several indian drinks which I didn't managed to get their names down.
My usual order would be "TEH AIS,bang!"..nice creamy frothy..not too sweet, not tasteless,so ngam for UTP peeps who are not used to the drinks they serve in Jarum Emas.

They renovated their shop recently,now with open-air space available. Better than hanging out in any mamak stalls.
With nice food, good environment, superb drinks, what else can anyone possibly ask for?..

Do stop by in Kalai Curry House whenever you need good indian food.
*UTPians, you wanna know where, you bring me la then I shall show you the place..

*DROOLS?...*

KNOWING that you have finally found the right one but yet, when it's too late to do something about it..That feeling is major disappointing..

KARMA?Fuck KARMA.

What's with HIM anyway.?Can't anyone lead a nice and happy life?When i met the right one, HE can just tell me that it's too late.

Fuck man!! I tried patching things up but if it means more chances to be humiliated over and over again, why am I giving in to this anyway?

What happened to my ego? What happened to the khian that once said love is nothing but a silly word? Why is this even happening to me??

*All i want is a 2nd chance to prove myself..that I am worthy of your love that you once poured..the love which I didn't appreciate, the love that gave me warmth but I didn't say.*

Last day of my RAYA break. Technically it's till Sunday but then again, since almost everyone's back in campus already, I think I have to go back and see what I have yet to complete before the academic commence.
So, basically I have ALOT to complete,since I have yet to get started. =S

Had a wonderful time this evening with my mum and bro. 4 hours in Jusco, shopping..and had a nice time, crapping with them. Didn't know my brother has so much to share, and I just knew that he had a thang for ASTROLOGY.! We filled up my mum's KIA with lotsa goodies..=) Just had a very nice family bonding session lah!!

Current status : TIRED although I did sleep 10 hours a day but then don't know why my enery get drained easily.Hmm.. I think I need a massage chair from OSIM now, sitting in front of the comp for 3 hours straight, finishing the final touches on my OFFICE in AUTOCAD..now my neck, back and shoulder are aching..Darn!!

I really dislike anonymous readers. Kindly reveal yourself k?

The RAIN is getting alil unpredictable these days.
When you thought that it's going to be a nice day to dry your clothes, all of a sudden, it decides to rain.
When you thought it's gonna rain and decided to stay in, it's such a nice weather and you probably wasted the day staying in.

So unpredicatable--like my mood.

Aaah,one minute, I am sober, the other I am hyper, and the next, I am depressed, the very next minute, I got so happy that I think my MIRC nick suits me perfectly.

"ASYLUM-SEEKER"

Something made me smile today. Chee Hau called and said he saw me in Jusco today. Aiks? The problem is I didn't even go out from my room today. It was a mistake but we did have a short conversation. Promised to do some catching up as soon as the holidays begin. =)
Times like this which makes me smile. I still remember the time we spent talking on the phone till wee hours in the morning..Hahha, didn't know I can even talk so long on the phone with a friend.

Everyone is in UTP now. Most of them kept asking me to go back..WELL,there's no food to begin with, and some things are better left at the current state. Go back also meaningless, may as well stay here, enjoy the company of my family right?

Anyone going anywhere for a holiday end of this year? I wanna tag along..='(

 

It died.
A mere 12 months, and it decided to leave me.
I bid farewell to my little mp4 player last night.
It still plays..but as soon as the battery runs out, it no longer plays.
Seeing the cracks it have on its screen, the scratches on its body, and the player starts switching on and off by itself.
(i can't help but reckoned that it's possessed!)
Sigh.
And I need music. Lotsa of them. To avoid entertaining unwanted attention, and to avoid talking to other people.
Damn, and now, I would have to wait for quite a while before the next player comes along.

 ***

Dai told me that STPM is gonna be over by the 6th of December. So, as Michelle Lee had once told me, I can't be sitting around, hoping to be invited for a trip. I need to plan something, so there I was, talking on MSN with Dai and decided to go away from IPOH for a vacation.
The details are yet to be known but the rough idea is..

WHAT? --> TRIP AWAY FROM IPOHLAND
WHERE? --> GENTING HIGHLANDS
WHEN? --> 8TH December
HOW? --> BY BUS
WHO? --> YOU- who wants to tag along.

So if you are available that date (8th December), this is an open invitation to everyone who feels like getting away from IPOhland. We can't always hang out in JUSCO--getting sick of the place really.

And if you are available after 17th DECEMBER,foo's planning another getaway-from-ipoh trip to one of the islands in the country. Possibly PENANG where we can eat non-stop. Should be taking the bus, since I'm not keen with the idea of FOO driving her MYVI all the way to Penang. Lols.

So, STPM people, UNI people..make yourself available. I need some OOOOMMPHHH in my life, and JUSCO ain't giving me any.

***

...Asked me what's wrong..
All I said was "Nothing."..
I guess the times have changed. No longer the Angkhian she once knew.
No more nice ME.
 

Going back this evening. This time, for sure. I need to go back, get started on Structured Programming. 
 
3 tests to face,
5 days to complete,
2 days to the first test,
1 tired ANGKHIAN.

So used to having 9 hours of sleep each day, at random hours during the break that when the classes resumed, I can't even get used to the usual 4 hours of sleep I get. Damn.
Have to get my bags packing already, and to really load them into the car. So many times I talk about going back, and here I am, still enjoying Streamyx at home. Owh, think I am going to blog again tonight. So many things I have inside my head, so much thoughts I would wanna share, so many feelings I wanna pour.

*Dai, thanks for the 'talk' last night.*

I guess, we do have our cranky moments. I happened to be cranky last night. Oh, I am thinking of switching accounts to some other server, too many people end up in this page. Too many unwanted readers. Too many comments. Too many (aaarrgghhhh!)

Tata. Shall write again tonight when i go back to UTP. =)

Those who are going back to their work, have fun, enjoy the weekend, and let's go back to the battlefield with armours and shield.
Good day.

You Are a Frappacino

At your best, you are: fun loving, sweet, and modern At your worst, you are: childish and over indulgent You drink coffee when: you're craving something sweet Your caffeine addiction level: low

whoa.Freaky. How true. And I am not addicted to coffee, just alcohol.=)
and yeah, I get my coffee from Starbucks/Coffeebean most of the time..and what I order most of the time? Ice Blended Frappacino Caramel. Hmm...Over indulgent? Childish.? I can't say I agree yet I won't deny. =)

Starbucks anyone?

*testing-testing*
*testing-testing*

Whoo~ The connection not bad wor...
Hahha...err..ok..ok...sorry for the hyperness..
I have loadsa to write about tonight..but wait, wait wait and more waiting to be waited..(what the heck?!)..kinda hyper now..
Having dinner with a few housemates later..so Tronoh it is then.

Ok, write more later la (biasala tu!)
Come back later tonight, and I shall write more.

Current status: HUNGRY.
When is dinner time la?

What would you do when you just arrived in campus, with tonnes of work in hand, and less than 48 hours to complete them?
>>You take the easy way out by ignoring them completely and go out for a nice game of badminton with your housemates.

Yeah, just when I thought I ought to come back early to get some work done, there I was, chilling out with no worries in the world, and stroke a few shuttlecocks. But, not denying the fact that I enjoyed myself very much and am looking forward to the next game with them.

>>picture of SHARON and Carina.

>>picture of 4 of us. : Criscentia, ME, Carina and Pao.

We managed to sweat so much and finally, we went out for a nice dinner in Tronoh, with Punchee tagging along.
Carina came out with nick names for all of us, the usual thang.

Carina== Badak (Hippo)
Pao== Babi
Me==Burung (Bird)
Criscentia==Bartlemy (inside joke)

So, currently, we are the 4'B's!

from left to right: Criscentia, ME,Sharon, Carina

We went out and have a nice mamak session also, this time, minus Pao because she had to sleep la. Dunno why. "mou yi hei" punya fella. We saw one gang of guys from our batch walking to DToronto to celebrate Chong Kian's birthday. Nice.

***

Some things are not worth risking life for.
Some are, some are not.
Who are we to determine what's good and what's not?
How sure that what we do is going to kill us in the future? How sure that what we are doing now, may not..?
Our generation is pre-destined to die before the generation before us.
Why waste any more time in waiting?
We live only once, why waste it?

*Izzat and Dai, don't worry. I have no issues. Just confused.

I don't like being shot with multiple questions at what time. I don't even understand why I was even bothered to answer them.

 

Lunch with Freddy today.
Interesting.(That's all actually.Nothing much worth adding)
Lolz.

Lost of mood. Menstrual around the corner?..
Aaargghh..Sunday and tomorrow is wha-- , Monday?
Means tests are approaching for real..
OK, I should probably get some studying done, for real.

If I come back in an hour's time, writing some crappy entry, err..teach me how to shut this tabulas down. I really don't know what is worth writing anymore, especially when I have work, work and more WORK!

There's a meeting tonight at 8.30.

---

The first puff was innocent.
My lips tasted a bit mint-y after it.
The second puff was still alright.
My lungs started to have alil' burning sensation.
The third puff was my last.
Not only I smell, but my lungs ache terribly.
My mouth tasted differently, I think I need a bath soon.
The room smells, I smell.
I know I ain't gonna get hooked on this.
Alcohol still tastes better.

"Say TAK NAK to cigarrettes!"

--Angkhian on her first attempt on smoking.

##Life is not as horrible as you think it is when you smile.##

Today was the usual Monday as any other Monday that I dreaded. Monday blues, you and I call them. With only 3 hours of sleep the night before, I managed to drag myself off the bed, into the bathroom, back into the room, change into what I thought was decent and rushed to the first class in the morning. 8 AM class, what a start to a MONDAY.

Reached the class, having to know we were late for the quiz as usual. One thing did make us glad for once, is that today's class was the last class of the semester. Wait, dang! Means FINALS just around the corner. When you think life can't be any worst, the printer in the lab was jerky, and somehow, all the servers were down. Managed to print only a few lecture notes and back to what I was again, the library. I needed a shut-eye as soon as possible so while the others were scattered around the campus, I was seen, lying on the black sofa, trying to get some sleep. I was almost late for the next class, luckily Teehooi gave me a ring, vibrated till my pants wanted to fall off**, off I went to the next class.

 
>> 3/4 of the NOn's in UTP (July '05 batch)

Today's lesson for Engineering Math was LaPlace Theorem.
(wait, close your opened-mouth..I know, you don't even know what I am talking about..Don't worry, neither do I.)

Statics were double the 'fun'. Chapter 10-Moment of an Inertia. Whaa--?? Apparently to be the easiest chapter in Statics, kononnya la..but I doubt that.

Geology was a blast though. Yeah, surprisingly. We had our little session of heart-to-heart conversation during lecture and it was fun talking to both Josh and Shiouting. We joke alot about stuffs and surprisingly, time flies so quickly that the class ended early. Hahha..

See? Monday can't always be nasty. The good will always come and I am happy that I passed through Monday. Well, tomorrow is a goner though with Structured Programming test in main hall at 6 pm. Say bye-bye to tiru-meniru. Aaarrghhh..

>>Guys' population more than 80% in UTP.
    (Kee Hui layan jiwa at the back of the picture)

**Just found out that someone is no longer in singlehood. Sigh. Happy for ya!!**
   Time to go fishing.

Should I continue with Structured Programming or let it go?..
Hmm..apa-apalah!..wanna write a few lines first..as expected out of me: an average of 2 entries perday!

Lolz.
2.32 a.m. in the morning, as I stroke this keyboard of mine.
Nah, don't worry about me. I just woke up from my sleep, in time to see Punchee going off to her la-la land. Here, I am, writing about how I feel tonight and right now.

Aah~! I feel that this should be noted down.
I had PILLOW FIGHT with Carina just now. Too tension me, took Sheateng's bolster and started whacking Si Carina..and yea, it all started then. She took hers and I defended myself with Sheateng's. Whoa. It was lotsa fun and I had to run to take cover in my own room. Of course la. Si Badak and Si Burung. Who would you think is stronger leh??

And dinner with Criscentia was fun. It was raining so heavily and people just fancy having their dinners in v3 cafe all of a sudden. So, the place was crammed with people and we were fighting for our food, literally. Waiting in line was so tormenting,with people pushing from every different angle, with harsh words exchanging among themselves..When alas, I managed to get food for Criscentia and I, and she went to tapao for Carina and Punchee, we had loadsa fun talking and enjoying the-not-so-nice-cafeteria-food of ours. I managed to teach her some Cantonese words which even myself,am not fluent in it myself. Lolz. It was rather confusing to her, because like I've explained that Cantonese requires the exact pitch for every single word. Out of tune-means some other kind of different word. She gave up seriously. Aah! Must teach her Mandarin the next time.

6 hours to my next class.
Think I am going to skip that one.
So, technically, it's 9 hours to my next class. =)

Tomorrow..Err..Today..erm..no..Later in the day, it's going to be Technology Day of Slumberger[however it is spelled]. Josh told us that there will be lotsa goodies up for grabs. So, typical women would wanna go get those right? TeeHooi and I are going to go there early!..=)

One thing about coming to this blogpage of mine.
" Thou shall not question my entries. "

Ooo boy..wait.. I have this sudden craving..Wait..wait..wait..
I wanna eat DURIANS. The bitter ones and the..errm..my dad calls them 'susu durian'..haha..but now, not the season yet right? *fist on my table!*

After months of craving, and with the sudden death of it..Uncle Andrew ( the 3rd brother of my dad's) has emailed me, saying that there's a replacement for everything. So,all the way from Honolulu (that's in Hawaii, by the way), he's going to get me one of these :-->

Owh, just so you are wondering, I am going to get a HITAM one. Cun-ted.
See..Michelle, I moved on fast. But, one down side, I am only getting one in December which is like about 40 days away, when his plane touched down on Malaysian grounds.
It was not easy today to have gone through the day without my player. Sobz. =(

Haihs, time now: 2.53 a.m.
Listening to MIX FM. Punchee's current favourite Radio station.Alot of nice songs though old ones.
I guess, we have reached the age huh? When it's time to switch channels to slower, nicer,and our era's songs? Ok, a few more years when we would prefer LIGHT&Easy. Scary weh.

*Better appreciate this. It's rare to see me, writing about something happy+positive for once. Not long I supposed, before my depressing entries make their way back. Hehhhhehehe...

Structured Programming test 2 is officially over. As usual, we managed to mengharunginya dengan cemerlangnya..because the usual tactics la!

Ok, that was random.

Now, I just ate BIHUN TORONTO for supper, with a slight verge to get some sleep..so like what shiouting taught me,..HOLLA~!