"就算分开，但能不能别没收我的爱。。"

It's a Friday, means my free day. No classes, only have to rush the ETP Proposal. And abit of studying should be done. I meant to update about the [IMPROMPTU] crazy night-out we had 2 nights before, but because the internet is very slow in the campus lately, so I'm leaving the entry till I reached home.

I'm heading home in a while to see the doctor (again) and also this time, gonna have lunch with MEL. I know she misses me already lah, since it has been 2 weeks? Then gotta meet up with Fanny lah, since it was her birthday, and since my scholar sudah masuk, belanja her makan lorrr...hehe!

Hmm..hopefully the weekend is planned in a proper way lah..coz tomorrow the girls are coming down to IPOH(yet, again!) to catch Mummy3. Hmm...today's the 2nd day of "bleeding"..I hate it, man!

Spotted a conversation in a lecture.

Budak A: Eh, tonight quite free right?
Budak B: Yeah..Kindalah..no ETP meeting..tomorrow got 9am class lah..
Budak A: Adoi..so free one..no work also..after lab, no more class already..do what leh..
Budak B: Sien lorr...
Budak C: Yeah lor..tonight don't know do what..
Budak D: EH! STUDY LAH! Do past year paper already..
Budak A+B+C: Don't merepek!
Budak A: Jom, we haven't have Civil Gathering lah!..tonight lah!
Budak B: Ok also..
Budak C: Go ajak more people ok? NO OUTSIDERS!
Budak D: Ok, Set! Tonight, after briefing okay?

I kid you not. Barely 2 weeks back to campus, I've been going down to Ipoh, at least twice a week. Nope, not going back home, but I'm always out with my friends. I guess that's the joy of singlehood, you don't get tied down and you don't have to report to anyone. You just go and have fun to the maximum!

Let me tell you, it's some sort of "tradition" that every semester, before the workload starts piling up, we tend to have this CIVIL outing, at least ONCE. Let it be just a dinner in Kampung Bali, or a movie night-out or just random lepaking in kopi-tiams. We must do it, for the sake of doing it! [Plus we wanna make other course jealous with CIVIL, since we are well-known around campus to be the MOST CHILLING PEOPLE in the batch!] 

That night, (30.07.08), 4 civilians went down to Ipoh. 4 GIRLS. Oh wait...KeeHui is not a girl..ok..sorry..3 GIRLS and 1 macho GUY. I kid you not again. This time, we absolutely had no plans or whatsoever. We only had one thing in mind: NOT SPENDING THE NIGHT IN UTP.
The first thing in OUR MINDS is EAT. The best food in town. We wanted nice food. Shiouting suggested CITRUS.

Nevermind the aftermath after paying the bill. Not cheap okay? But come out to play, must have fun, and what is fun without having to burn a hole in your wallet/purse? Come out to play, cannot say no money. Come out to play cannot say things are expensive. Come out to play cannot say don't want to eat.

Citrus has pretty good ambience. Good for a place to catch up with long-lost friends.

And someone couldn't wait to get high...and ordered this instead...

Traditional Mexican Shooter

And food was highly recommended by a friend of ours, so the 4 of us has the same main course.

This is Chicken..something something..pesto something something. RM18.00

I initially wanted to order steak, but one dish cost about RM45.00. Though I mentioned "come out cannot say expensive", but "come out also cannot be stupid.." Understand mou?

So the night was spend, chit-chatting, commenting on our food, making fun of one another, funny anecdotes, and more chit-chatting!

The only macho guy. KeeHui, who happened to be our driver/bodyguard/atm-machine..Ok, the atm-machine part I made it up.

Both of us looked pretty exhausted, because we really were.

TeeHooi and Khian. (why are my eyes getting smaller and smaller each time??)

Sour, Asylum_Seeker, Noiseemunkee, Skittystar

IF i'm not mistaken, this dessert dish is made out of 3 types of cakes: Apple Crumble, Choc Brownies with Vanilla Ice-cream and hot fudge cup. (RM18.00)

A closer-look at the desserts..mouth-watering, I assure you..

Chocolate Brownie topped with Vanilla Ice-cream.

and this is my favourite...

hot fudge or something..hot chocolate cup..

It looks so cute..like some tangy coating..and when you actually scoop it, out comes the chocolate flow..warm and sweet...but the chocolate syrup is not really that sweet actually..with a slight tinge of bitterness..

We got too busy camwhoring, which is a lucky thing that I brought my camera along that night. I knew something like this would have happened..;P

 
A picture of us out in the park.

We got tired of the blur shots and took matters into our hands!

Told you we clicked, coz we are a bunch of camwhorers!

Like I've said, if you think this is the end, you are so fucking wrong man..It was a wild night, but the connection doesn't allow me to blog in peace, so I'm just gonna continue the next part later!

Turn the lights off in this place
And she shines just like a star
And I swear I know her face
I just don't know who you are
Turn the music up in here
I still hear her loud and clear
Like she's right there in my ear
Telling me
That she wants to own me
To control me
Come Closer
Come closer

[Chorus:]
And I just can't pull myself away
Under a spell I can't break
I just can't stop
I just can't stop
I just can't stop
I just can't stop
And I just can't bring myself no way
But I don't want to escape
I just can't stop
I just can't stop
I just can't stop
I just can't stop
I just can't stop

[Verse 2:]
I can feel her on my skin
I can taste her on my tongue
She's the sweetest taste of sin
The more I get the more I want
She wants to own me
Come closer
She says "come closer"

[Chorus:]
And I just can't pull myself away
Under a spell I can't break
I just can't stop
[ Closer lyrics brought to you by LyricsYouLove ]
I just can't stop
I just can't stop
I just can't stop
And I just can't bring myself no way
But I don't want to escape
I just can't stop
I just can't stop
I just can't stop
I just can't stop
I just can't stop

Come closer [7x]
I just can't stop nooooo
I just can't stop nooooo
I just can't stop nooooo
I just can't stop nooooo

[Chorus:]
And I just can't pull myself away
Under a spell I can't break
I just can't stop
I just can't stop
I just can't stop
I just can't stop
And I just can't bring myself no way
But I don't want to escape
I just can't stop
I just can't stop
I just can't stop
I just can't stop
I just can't stop

And I just can't pull myself away
Under a spell I can't break
I just can't stop
I just can't stop
I just can't stop
I just can't stop
I just can't stop

Come Closer

i want go club lah! need to get this out from my system before i get burried with workload..!!

You Should Be a Politician

Confident, assertive, and dedicated - you know what you want in life and how to get it. Stubborn and opinionated, you can stand your ground... even if it's unpopular. And while you have strong views, you never overwhelm people with your opinions. A true charmer, you subtly influence people into seeing things your way. You do best when you: - Work according to your own rules - Can change the world with what you do You would also be a good lawyer or talk show host.

SCARY RIGHT? LIKE SO REAL ONE.....hmmmm..maybe I should quit Engineering school..

I miss DRINKING. Drinking irresponsibly. Drink until die-die..Drink until can lie on the floor also can..

3 Girls, 3 cans of beer, 1 padang, 1 EMO feeling.

Sometimes we may look happy outside, but deep down, all of us just need a can of beer, and some off-time at times. Take a minute to reflect about ourselves, and how much we wanna squeeze out from our lives..

And we sit and wonder, whether what we are doing now, is what we really want. Because we believe the present shapes the future. Is this what we want at the end of the line?

I needed the time-off. I needed it the most. I needed it to get away from everything..
Everything that's taking control of my life. I needed alcohol in my system!

I still need it. I think I'm dependant on it. I need to get numb.

I hate the weekends. Hate the weekdays even more. Blah!

"Don't you realize you are hurting me so much that I have no control over myself anymore?
You think everything's fine, but do you know how I really feel deep inside?
Do you bother to care about my feelings before you take every step?
Maybe I do not matter to you anymore, but have some mercy on me, please.
I have feelings too. It's not as if I'm dead. "

Your Love Type: ENFP

The Inspirer In love, you are passionate and eager to develop a strong bond. For you, sex should be playful, creative, and affectionate. Overall, you are perceptive and bring out the best in your partner. However, you tend to hold on to bad relationships after they've turned bad. Best matches: INTJ and INFJ

You Are A Little Scared of Commitment

You're open to getting serious with someone... though you can't entirely imagine it. Maybe you haven't met the right person. Maybe you haven't gotten to the right point in your life. Your reaction to commitment is very normal - especially if you're young or have been burned before. Give it time. You'll probably be ready for a serious relationship sooner than you think.

Now, this explains it all! I'm tired of getting myself hurt over and over again. You should probably go..

The throwing up has come back. I wonder if it has anything to do with the smoke.

TOUGH.

3rd WEEK AND WE HAVE OUR 1st QUIZ/TEST.

EVEN WHEN I'VE GOT THE VIDEO DURING THE LAB, THE PROCESSES ARE STILL CONFUSING.

I have been studying the video for 2 days now, yet I still can't really grasp the processes. Sigh, wastewater treatment plants are simply too confusing. You people better start going lesser times to the toilet, or bathing less, because everytime you do, it makes my life even more confusing..hehe!!

Sigh, what is this?? I wanna tidur.......

I saw a friend's Gtalk tagline:

" 哑巴！不能说话的痛苦有谁了解？"
translation: ["dumb. who can understand the pain of not being able to talk?"]


And it struck me. What about the pain of not being able to express yourself?
People often tell me to be strong, that everything else doesn't matters, that I've gotta learn to be happy, for once. Return to my original path, and not be diverted along the way again.
And when I flashed them a pretentious smile, they immediately assume that I'm already healed. That I've move forward. That I'm back to my own self.

But do you understand the pain I'm going through?
The hell I'm going through by keeping mum about my own feelings? Who knows what I'm going through?
This is even much worst than not being able to talk.

The whole morning, I've been lying on the bed. So tempted to get the last puff, but I'm too tired screwing myself. Just too tired..

It has been a long time since I last had dinner with a group of friends.

Initially supposed to have dinner only with HooiYee, but then, having dinner in V5 cafe means bumping into a bunch of people you know. So, there was no peaceful dinner, when JunJia, Xiyi and HooiYee's boyfriend came and joined us instead. There goes a nicely, planned dinner.

But it was fun catching up with Xiyi and Chong. We used to have random dinner times together, but because this semester, some things have changed, and he was busy with Symphony Fest, we haven't been eating together. Tonight was rather a coincidence.

happy Sunday today. suddenly it doesn't really matter.

The quiz ended up, pointless. Though I keep having Dr. Shark's video image being played over and over again (because I actually took a video of him, during the Wastewater 'Field' trip), I can't seem to think straight during the quiz. It was as if I knew the answers, but when it comes to writing it down, the mind blurred. Well, it's just a quiz anyway, so I'm sorta chilling. And yes, you've read it right, my lecturer's name is Dr.Shark. No kidding there! OKlah..he gave himself that nick-name, because APPARENTLY, he eats everyone up in one gulp!

Well, point is, I have yet to post a few pictures of the Civil Outing on the 30th. I have a feeling another one's gonna come up pretty soon...

Guess where we were!!

 Do you believe in drowing yourself with cans of beer would be able to wash away the pain and stress?

What I know is it makes you do silly stunts...
Like you have no control over the things you do...

And under the influence of it, you tend to ruin the image that you've been trying to potray all this while..
You find yourself doing the most embarassing acts..

Like how we can hug one another, with no barriers...eeewww!!

Well, some may say we don't really need alcohol to get ourselves high. But, yes, we were very high that night, or should I say, EARLY MORNING...



Imagine jumping a gazzillion times, trying to get the right angle and style, in front of a standing camera?
Mind you, it was about 2am in Ipoh Padang, a place which was rumoured to be infested with Mat Rempits and Drug Addicts..and we were there...


I was crazy that night. I was.
Babyface was jamming its loud music till 3am, so we sorta had background music at the back.
It was like a free clubbing session, only that we weren't in a dark, smoky area. We were on wet grass!

One thing's for sure, this is something which has never come across our plans/minds before. The thing is, we are kinda spontaneous people, rather than planning outings. BECAUSE I CAN ASSURE YOU, THE PLANNED ONES WERE NEVER CARRIED OUT..hehe..

Well, this is a one time picture only. Never would you see this ever again..



We were a bunch of whackos that night. dot com.

Details are confidential. What happened that night, stays in Ipoh Padang!

I guess I am a coward.

I have Avril's "My Happy Ending" looping in my iTunes. Sometimes I don't know what I want. I guess I'm only capable of running away. Most of the time, if I can't deal with a situation, I tend to runaway. I can't help myself thinking about the problem, but I can never find the guts to stand up and face it.

What would you do if you are me? I don't know what I'm sad of. I don't know what I'm more disappointed in.
To lose someone I loved, or to lose a very good friend.
I guess when it points down to you, sometimes I feel you were never there, all along. I'm tired, just so tired of defending you, on your behalf. Just so blardy tired.

I can only heave a sigh, and just probably wake up.

It's good to think once in a while..

p/s: I'm just glad I have good side profile!!

Remember the last time I said, the next CIVIL OUTING is gonna be very soon..?
Well, I didn't know it was that soon, we went out again, last night.

Well, it was rather an impromptu one (again!) because we thought of studying for the Engineering Economics quiz for this coming Thursday, but again, sometimes I think the Civilians are just trying to get the "Playful Mode" out from the system, that's why we have been going out almost every week. And I needed last night's outing so much. Yes, to runaway.

Our main 'mission' was to catch Mummy 3, according to ShiouTing, the trailer was good, and so we had to go watch. I found the movie rather ridiculous, because ZiYuan used Sanskrit to read the spellbook during the early days, and when it came to the year 1949, she used English to read the exact spellbook she used before. Hrmm...ada kah? Tak logic! And how come the Alex and the daughter of ZiYuan, could suddenly spark and love one another? Tak logic! And why they had to cut the love-making scene of the General Ming and ZiYuan???!!
Sungguh tak boleh dimaafkan!! And because of that, we couldn't comprehend the story line!!. Malaysia Board of Censorship, good job! Go censor everything lah!.

After the movie, we went for a nice Italian fine cuisine, which was a total flop. Italia Mia was freaking expensive, and maybe some people might not like it, thus it was not really that enjoyable compared to the last dinner at Citrus's.

We had Olives. Most of them didn't like olives, but they are health food okay? So, I busily enjoyed them while waiting for my food to come..

This my main course: Pollo C...err...yeah, some fancy artsy Italian name..(RM35.50).
Well, it's just some Chicken breast with tomato paste, shallots and olives, and some mash potato as side dish.

This is one of the best, so far. I don't know the names..

Total damage done for all of us in total: RM259.00.
Certainly a lot of cash for one night!!

Been doing alot of fine cuisine lately..pokai lorr at this rate...
And yes, I have been drinking alot lately too!

For some reasons, I kinda like this picture a lot...
Skittystar, Noiseemunkee, Khian, JHua.

Addition of one member into our lepak gang!

(You've gotta admit, I'm looking great, eh?)

After dinner, we went for a round of shopping in Ipoh Parade, and I got myself a new bag! Well..a sling girlish/womanish bag..lol!
And because I didn't want to go back that early, they brought me for another round of drinking session, when this time, it's not alcohol, it's coffee! We initially wanted to do some karaoke-singing, but I think we were not really in the mood, so a short chit-chat was enough.

wahliao..this picture..damn emo right??

Have you seen a giant coffee cup before??

Khian and Joshua.
I seriously think I look good man!

Khian and KeeHui

Hate having insomnia. I need to sleep, but because I can't seem to fall asleep, thus, I couldn't sleep!
I really can't do anything. I can't study for the Economics quiz because my I'm mentally-drained, for whatever reasons! I can't watch any movies, because my eyes are worn out, and if I keep staring at the computer any longer, I'm just going to go blind!
Perhaps I think too much at times! It's none of my business anymore, I shouldn't be involved with these thoughts! I need to sleep very badly. I have class early morning tomorrow!

And due to the maximum boredome, I decided to post individual shots of people!

This is Uncle Ling for you. He's old. Too old for any crazy stuffs we do..You should hear his definition of going crazy.

This is ShiouTing. Nicknamed "大姐". Anything you boh song, you find her, she help you kaotim!

You probably know him already. KeeHui. Pretend to be blur all the time, asking me to check out chics most of the time! Aaarrgghh!

Hmm..this is TeeHooi. One of the top scorers, but keep denying it. Benci!

 
This is ME. Still don't get it..how come I can be so "yeng" one?? [look closer, can you see my earing?]

"没有地球太阳还是会绕"

A friend thought me this phrase. I always sing this line, but I have never understood the meaning till tonight. He also thought me that to smack a person, we don't need any reasons. All we need to do is to reason out with ourselves, whether the person is worth smacking or not. For that, I'm not getting my hands dirtied.

Because from today onwards, even there's if no Earth, the Sun will still continue orbitting.
and I will make sure it will move faster from now onwards.

Eewan wanted to read my blogpage, when suddenly this popped up!

Read the fine lines. Like what the hell!

I mana ada write about porn stuffs..ish!

Today's a half-good, half-bad day.

Morning class was located in the old academic blocks, so we had to take the car there. Stepping into the old academic block, reminds me so much of Foundation years. Like it was just yesterday I walked all the way from OLD V5, to lectures, and now, we have cars to bring us all the way there. About 20 minutes in class, I started searching for my iPod, but I couldn't locate it. That was pretty odd because I had it with me the whole morning. So I searched high and low for it; in my pockets, in my bag, but it was nowhere to be found. Even when the lecturer was busy talking in front, I walked out from the class to search for it in the car. I had a strong urge to find it that very instant. When I was about to reach the car, I saw my iPod lying on the ground, right beside the car. Goodness, it was left there for such a long time, and thank god no one took it. I prayed (silently), thankful that it was still there.

After class, we went for breakfast in the old USM building (coz our campus used to be USM's). And guess who we bumped into in the cafeteria? The old Electrical Engineering bunch! TzeYang, HuiChing and Pinky were there, for breakfast, and it was really a coincidence! So we sat down, and chatted, caught up with our busy engineering lives, and how they commented about the Civilians who seem to be having the time of our lives..hehhe..

However, we had to rush all the way back to the Civil New block for our lab session straightafter our breakfast. Wastewater lab was abit confusing. We had to deal with wastewater (better known as "toilet" water lah..)  so we were reminded over and over again to wear our gloves to avoid having direct contact with the bacteria and pathogenic bacteria. I shall spare you the boring details okay, but some of us were lost for the first half an hour because we were given different samples and different samples require different kind of attention. Influent and Effluent from the Aeration Tank. Lol!
We had to wait for quite some time for the reaction to take place so while waiting, one thing often pops in our mind. Alah..what can you do with camera handphones, right?

The 3 of us with the apparatus, which we were supposed to clean and put them back to where they belong.

Ha! Ni nak kena nih!!

Kan dah cakap dah! kena pulas telinga!

 
That's Uncle Teng!

*Bimbo-tic shot!* Love thy coursemate day!

"HAH?"

*piak!*

That's us, the Civilians..

The art of camwhoring with a 2 megapixel handphone camera

Can't even get a complete set of Chinese!

Tash and I! Looking hawt eh! I mean Tash lah!..

You know what they say about the Civil Girls?
::: They don't smile at all! Not friendly at all..

Oi, hello! We are the most friendly girls okay?

And how can I miss the opportunity to show you how yeng I am right?

Totally for camwhoring purposes! Wrong usage of apparatus..hehhe!

And now, it's about 10.45pm, I need to rush out for ETP meeting..shall write more tonight..

p/s: Waiting is not my forte, but if it's you I'm waiting for, I shall wait.

---Do what you think you should do..
Don't regret later..
You know you would have me here.
Take care...

I always get you during the wrong time.
You never seem to reply them. Sigh.

Connection in UTP seem to be bitchy (having period kot..). Not only I cannot log into MSN, my GTALK seems to be signing in and out, as it pleases. OH MAN!

Yesterday, it was our SEMI-FORMAL day! The thing is, usually, we, Civilians go to classes with t-shirts, pants, jeans, so not formal! That's why, we launched a program, which is to wear something different to class everyday. Stay tuned alright?
Now, the Civilians have been caught carrying cameras around, cam-whoring whenever it's possible! Why not?

Uncle Teng, Shiouting, Harpreet, ME, TeeHooi, KeeHui and Kenneth

Imagine, we managed to pursuade all the nons to join this little program of ours..EXCEPT FOR UNCLE LING(JOSHUA) whom I confirmed that we have generation gap, because we kept reminding him for so many times, yet today, he appeared in class with his striped t-shirt on! FUH!! spoiled our plans betul!

the 4 (well-known) civil girls. Who are in actual fact, pretty loud and noisy, but also pure and innocent! *winks*

Basically we took a lot of shots lah..from various angles..lol!

With a more serious look from the Civil Girls. Don't ask me why I smiled. You don't want to listen to the joke over and over again..

Chilling with Omphe(Abel) and Vannak...

To be honest, almost everyone in the campus was surprised to see how properly we were dressed on a Thursday. Well, not that we dressed up terribly usually, but because we were all dressed in shirts, in a big group. They thought we had an event to attend or something..lol!
So, be surprised the next program we had in mind okay!

I initially offered to hold the camera so that Ceaser (on my right) can be in the picture. But he insisted that Vannak holds the camera instead..So I'm guessing he wants to take a picture with me? Lol! Well, or should I say International Students are much of a gentleman, compared to the Locals? hmm..thoughts for ponder?

Taken at the stairs of Pocket D.

* I WILL SMACK THOSE WHO SAY I LOOK LIKE A GUY OKAY? (unless you say I look yeng then you are forgiven..)

How can you not drool looking at me?..hehehe...(TeeHooi and I in the lecture theatre)

And because we were always out hunting for good(and expensive) food, this time, we wanna show you that Civilians also eat cafe(also expensive) food okay..

Oh yeah, before I forget, BEIJING'S opening ceremony is today! 8th August 2008, 8.08pm! The Civilians are gonna be there to support BEIJING! Ok, just right in front of the TV SET!

I think I'm self-obsessed, which reminds me of Reggie Mantle in the Archies comics..hmmm...
what to do..good looking people has the license to do so!

Hahhha!! biarkan saya saja lah..dah patah hati..memang macam itu..hehehe!

I miss you though you are near.
Blood can flow before the wound appears.
Imagination, painful now, will guide me
Through the coming hard and lonely years.
I find it hard to face our separation,

Feeling in advance the wrenching pain,
Imagining the years of desolation
Until we are together once again.
Yet that same imaginary power
Will bring to us beforehand all the joy

That, dreamed of in some isolated hour,
Our sad and lonely weariness will buoy.
Thus though I suffer more while you are near,
I'll suffer less when you're no longer here.

Until now, I still smile at the thought of you. But usually the smile wouldn't last, because the tears would come next. Everytime.

Just got back from a night-out. Shall harp on that later.
Now I need to get some decent sleep, tomorrow's GREEN CARD (CIDB) talk is at 8! and it lasts for 8 hours!!
Great. Should I head home tomorrow then? I need to get my laundry done.

Tried to get myself drunk tonight, but is it worth it?
Even if I get myself drunk, does that mean you would come back to my arms?
You know I miss you. You know I like you.
But you never come back.

08.08.08

How can anyone actually missed such auspicious date?
I got a random text from a friend, stating that couples should fully use this date to fulfil some kind of promise or something.. Hmm..a wrong text message to send to me, don't you think so?
Not when you are already single and lonely, such texts are not helping your recovery at all!

Anyway, the BeiJing Olympics was aired at 8pm, so the Civilians decided to go for dinner in Kg.Bali and catch the opening ceremony there too. We reserved 2 tables, located right in front of the telly, and there we were, half-eating, half-gulping, half-amazed, watching the telly.

To those who watched the whole event, there's just one word to describe the entire event: AWESOME-NESS!

As I was watching the opening ceremony, I was in awe, being proud to be a Chinese! (even though I'm a Malaysian and technically, the Chinese in China and the Chinese in Malaysia is different) yet you can't help feeling proud that Asians can actually come up with such marvellous gimmicks. Really kick-ass ya know?

However busy we were, staring at the screen, we took some time off to take pictures. Told ya Civilians are getting self-obsessed..(nothing to do with me..)

TeeHooi and I

The 3 CHINESE girls left in CIVIL. There used to be 4 of us, but I think she cracked under pressure and left.

The CIVIL girls..hmm..loud and noisy?

Almost everyone..

Even before the event ended, both KeeHui and I had to rush down to Ipoh to fetch Zhan Pheng and meet the rest in RumJungle..hmm..but that, would be another story, for another day..

HwanJean and I talked for a short time on MSN earlier. Well, I'm always good in giving advices but when the problem comes to me, I get stucked! What is this?..

"What happened? I'm starting to get worried..
Did I say something wrong? Did I bother you? Am I annoying?"

And I'm watching 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall'..It's so how I'm feeling right now..

It's not easy to move on. Never easy.

Thank goodness I don't have to deal with singlehood alone.
And to my other friends who are in the same shit as me..well, it's very easy to fake smiles, may we wake up one day, and smile FOR REAL.

We finally got this..

to remind us that we are one step closer to closing the deal with UTP, and embark on our Engineering Journey. This is called, a safety helmet by the way.

First of all, in order to get this safety helmet, we had our Saturday 'robbed' by having to attend an 8-hour of briefing. The briefing was about the safety measures we have to take, in a construction site, and the type of safety equipments we have to use, and the kind of instinct we need to have. And after the whole session, we would be given a GREEN CARD.

(no, this GREEN CARD is not the kind you can use it to enter the United States of America)

This is the kind of GREEN CARD you need to possess in order to get the license to walk into a construction site. Well, I shall remind you that all of us would have to undergo a period of 8 months of internship, and most of us, would have to enter the construction site. So, a GREEN CARD is sorta a license for us to walk in and out lor!

I'm glad that UTP (or maybe the Civil Engineering faculty) sponsors our fee, because otherwise we would have to fork out our own money, and it's not cheap. There's one point for UTP!
Even though it was sorta a lecture on a Saturday morning, yet we never fail to keep ourselves entertained.

And about 3pm, we were told that we "graduated" from the CIDB course, and are eligible to obtain our GREEN CARDs in 2 weeks' time. Hurray!
We meant to throw our safety helmets like how graduates usually throw their mortar boards during a graduation ceremony, but we figured it would give us bad luck or something..so we decided to just take pictures with ours, and just enjoy ourselves camwhoring..

Do I actually possess an Engineer's look?

The thing is none of us actually have "the" look, well, maybe SOME OF US have the "brains" but not the look. Heck...maybe I should have studied medicine or something...

What you are looking, are the local nons Civil girls..hmmm..who has the most potential to become a Civil Engineer (and not suck at it?)

I meant to post pictures of us going clubbing on a Friday night, which we switched to 3 places just to club.

RumJungle --> Sincero Riverbank ---> Sincero

The crowd was small, since I'm guessing everyone's stuck at home watching the opening ceremony. But Sincero's crowd was the largest. The song was terrible that night, and I didn't really have the feel to do anything. The good point was I managed to check out this hawt chic..hehe, who happened to sit in one corner, talking to a friend. Hmm..long slender legs...good facial skin..spells hawt to me! Hahha..

I wanted to post the pictures, but I looked like a bloated tomato in every picture, so I'm not gonna ruin my "yeng" image in my own blog! Lol! I'm looking forward to the next clubbing session, just wondering when.

The workload is pilling up, waiting to be completed. Too tired to do anything now, maybe just sleep the pain off lah..

p/s: Bad day to throw up today.
pp/s: And what DR.IK Ibrahim said in class today, really made my day. Favourite word: SUSCEPTIBLE!

Been dealing with my wastewater engineering assignment since 4 hours ago, yet I still can't finish reading the chapter. Hmm..maybe my body is here, but my soul is elsewhere. I just don't know what to do anymore.

Sometimes an exchange of short texts, kinda brings a smile to my heart.
I get contented easily, even if it didn't mean anything. But I just felt happy. Delighted.
Well, I need to be contented with small small things, really. And the thought of you, somehow made me realized that tackling with my assignments is not a big deal after. Not being able to see you, is.

My plan of heading to KL for Avril's, been cancelled.
Need to head down south to Singapore instead. Business purposes (and slight diverging)..hehhe
Merdeka clubbing, has to be reconsidered, over and over again. Still uncertain.

Till then, you still make me cry in the middle of the night. You still make me think of you.
You are so far away. YOU ALL MADE ME FELT LIKE A BIG LOSER.
And yes, I need to get some sleep right now, tomorrow's lab at 9am, and we are dealing with high temperature bitumen. Yes, 160 degrees baby!

Sometimes I regret doing Engineering. Everything's so technical. I should be doing something different!
Like making babies or something...

p/s: ETP is driving me nuts!

He's only using you. Wake up.
(before it's too late)

I woke up, slightly covered in sweat, but a happy day to begin with.!
Lalallalalaaaaaaa~

While looking through your old box of notes
I found those pictures I took that you were looking for
If there's one memory I don't wanna lose
That time at the mall
You and me in the dressing room
(Oh)

I told myself I won't miss you
But I remember
(Oh)
What it feels like beside you

I really miss your hair in my face and the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me

The bed I'm laying in is getting colder
Wish you never would have said it's over
And I can't pretend I won't think about you when I'm older
'Cause we never really had our closure.
This can't be the end
End

- Better Than Me, Hinder

--Someone slap me, before I go crazy.

From far, before even I went near, I could sense your presence.
You were there, sitted, with a large group of people.
I smiled, because I finally saw you. You looked healthy. You looked happy.
You looked as if everything did not happen.

I walked past you. I doubt you even noticed me.
I tried sending wavelengths to you, but our hearts are no longer connected. How could it be possible for you to receive them?
I was trying to tell you that I was near. I was only right behind you. I was hoping you would turn back and smile. You used to do that. You used to grin when I was near.
But no. The waves didn't reach anywhere near you.
Or perhaps you didn't open the door anymore.

Then I looked myself in the mirror.
There you were, sitting happily, discussing about something.
And I was, feets away, missing you silently.

Why have things changed so drastically?
All I wanted to see, was just a smile from your face. Not because of anything else, but you would smile because of me. You would smile for me.

I miss you, but yet I know I can't. Because you no longer belong to me. I no longer belong to you, even though I sometimes secretly wished that I am still yours.

I hope you are happy. Well, at least, one of us is..


p/s: And you. Yes, you. You. You are in my mind as well. But too bad, you ain't looking at my way too. sigh.

Told you I'd be heading to Singapore eh? So last night we had to register, fill in forms and hand in our passport sized pictures. Nasrul (former UCITY president, and a classmate) was doing mine, and when he reached the part of selecting between "male" and "female", he shot me with the most asked question of all time.

"Eh, AngKhian.., saya confused lah..you ni, laki ke pompuan?"

Hrmm..I smiled. And told him, if you are able to find a box in the middle of the two options, you can choose that.
If it was me, a few years back, I would stand up, hold the chair I was sitting on, and throw it at him. Well, that was the hormones doing everything.

But I've got that question pretty often. and everytime I answer them, I would asked myself, whether I really look like the opposite sex. Was it because of the clothes I wear? Or was it because of the way I carry myself? Or was it because of the length of my hair? Or was it because that everyone is making a simple, harmless joke?

I would never know. And just because I look better looking, does that mean I get the fair share of such teasings too?

Don't these look cute?  Like mini champagne bottles...

Hehhe..took me 30 minutes to prepare 3 samples of wastewater for BOD testing. Something simple in procedure, but tedious in terms of preparing.

Yesterday, the usual Civil went out again, for dinner and a little shopping. Somehow, we were contemplating to go down to Ipoh or not, because we didn't feel the excitement with going all the way down anymore..hehe..but it felt as if we missed something if we did not. Gosh, I spend about RM350 last night. Goshh!! (*officially declared broke*)

p/s: I dreamt of you last night. I hate you for making me vulnerable to all emotional "attacks" you do to me.

pp/s: Someone's having test today. Good luck..

And because you left our conversation halfway.

Sleepy. Tiring day. Gonna turn in early tonight. Long day tomorrow.
The usual. See, consult, kena nag, inject and go home.
Always one cycle.

Tired lorr...

Have been out since morning.

Turned in early last night, since I was dead tired. But I woke up in the middle of the night, to find a message from KeeHui asking me to go for dimsum early morning. And I quickly texted back, to agree. Another message came soon after, a random number, asking me to go clubbing on a Saturday night. Adoi. Ok, about 3 numbers texted me asking me whether I am able to make it to the club on Saturday. 3 different numbers. 3 different people. 1 stranger.

It kept me thinking whether I gave my number to the people I met in clubs. Hmmm..

Anyway, woke up early to bring KeeHui and ShiouTing to Ming Court for dimsum. I didn't know Shiouting was a fan of dimsum until today. Well, it's never too late to find out an interesting info about your coursemate. Lol! It was nerve-wrecking this morning, since the parking lots available near Ming Court area is scarce, so I had to fight for a parking space. Imagine circling the area for about 10 minutes, and you know my patience level right?

After breakfast, they brought me to a place to buy all the electronic circuits for my ETP project. Hmm, now, that's something I didn't know til today. Good. And we yumcha-ed at Oldtown Kopitiam. Imagine that! It was as if we didn't meet each other for a very long time..(padahal, the day before we just attended class together). Hehhe! My mum was complaining that I keep going out, and with the inflation going on, I need to ikat perut..

I had to fetch my mum to the bus station at 1.30pm, so there I was, on the road again. Dropped her there, and went to MGS to meet up with Mel and Dai. Had a short conversation with Ms.Azana(which I doubt she even remembered me), and then brought them for tau foo fah. Gosh! I amazed myself, because I know the places which people do not know! Do you know there's GREEN TAU FOO FAH available? I didn't, until Dai told me. But I knew the place..hehe..

Barely an hour, I had to rush to the Sony Centre to meet with Crystal, since she had to fix something. And I had to have lunch with her at MCD's. That was my whole schedule for today. I came home, to catch a 30-minute nap, only to find that Mel postponed our dinner to 8.30pm. Now I'm stuck, blogging about what happened during the day, while catching LeeChongWei on the set, playing against the Koreans.

p/s: Am a little disappointed. But I guess, no one can understand why. It's alright. Will talk to you some other day then.

I'm frustrated with many things.
But none of them I can deal with. None of them I know how to handle. None of them I know the problem.
And today, my Olympus xD memory card failed me. When it kept insisting me to format it, and the formatting cost my entire picture collection in the memory card to be erased, permanently. There was nothing I can do that can retrieve the data. Aaaarrgghh!! It sucks to know I am not even in control of my own camera!!
It's terrible to know I can't even handle my own life, and such a small piece of machine, yet it failed on me!
So, don't come asking me for pictures, because for the record, all of them are erased!

Dinner with Mel was a short one. The catching-up with Foo started quite late, at Shayo De Vin's, where Foo claimed that they couldn't even make a simple JD+coke. Well, you can never go wrong with that, with a ratio of (3:1), plus if you have been serving liquor to customers. How can someone actually go wrong with such a simple concotion? I tried to be bold, ordering Mel's favourite, which is the Gin+Tonic. Well, I was being stupid instead of bold. All I tasted was tonic, with a tinge of Lime. No Gin. Or maybe I didn't know how Gin would taste like..nevermind. We then adjourned the whole chatting session, to Oldtown Kopitiam, but this time, JiangMun was with us.

Apparently, on a Friday night, shops close pretty early. Like Shayo De Vin has its last call at 11pm, which indirectly "forced" us to move to Oldtown Kopitiam, which close at 12.30a.m. Well, urm..next time, maybe we should stick to mamak?

JiangMun, was exactly the way I remembered, though I can only vaguely remember the last time we met. Probably during Chinese New Year? Or was it some time before? But she didn't change much, still cause alot of havoc, and alot of blood vessels exploded. Lol! I swear if my girlfriend were to be like that, I am going to die young! The blood pressure! However, it amazed me that she happened to know Melissa (a junior of mine in UTP) while she went clubbing in Poppy's. Such a small world, but curse the fact that she was under the influence of loud music and alcohol during the time they meet, so I dare not imagine the damage she has done unto my name and reputation. Though I can say that I pretty much lose my identity since I stepped into Tronoh.

A small world indeed.

Mel asked a favour from me, asking me to fetch a friend of Lucas (who happens to be Mel's brother) home. So, since according to her, he lives just a few streets away, I decided to just pick him along and fetch him home. The friend, whose name is Edwin, was not bad, considering he was 4 years younger than I am (same age as my brother!) was chatty, and I could feel that there was no age barriers or some sort. We talked alot though, so there was no awkward silence during the whole car ride. And when he gave me directions to his house, I didn't know that he happens to be ELAINE CHEAH's brother! OMG!
(Elaine's a friend of mine,we went back as far as when we were 15..)

First of all, why are all the younger brothers suddenly grown up??
Secondly, why is the world so small??
Third, apparently, Edwin's not in good terms with my own brother..

Hehhe..small *toot* world eh!

What to do lah...Ipoh is small..too small in fact!

p/s: This is for you: “就算分开，但能不能别没收我的爱" ?
     Tell me what did I do to deserve that?

I know I should be studying and finishing up my lab reports, but....urm....

The day started early as 8am, and the following of the day, was just food all the way!

You can never go wrong with a bowl of "Prawn Noodles" in the morning. Especially this bowl. See the juicy succulent prawns? The fresh kangkung? The small mini pieces of pork bites? And don't even get me started on the sweet taste of the soup base...

See them upclose!

The only funny thing was, in front of the stall, the sign stated "Penang Hokkien Mee".. but shouldn't it be Prawn Noodles? Hmm..any penangnites would like to explain why this is called "Penang Hokkien Mee"?

Next up on the table, is Apam Balik. This crunchy piece, with a corn paste and chunky nuts bits..enough to send you to heaven, and back, of course!

Upclose! See the bits of nuts??
With RM0.60 a piece, this may just be the cheapest yummy thing in town!

By the time we were done with the food above, we couldn't stuff these in anymore. Let's focus on the egg tart eh? Nam Heong is famous for its egg tart. Home made tarts! I could only take in half of it, because I was simply stuffed!

The best thing to do after a hearty breakfast is go for a walk. Why?
To digest the food lah! and then go have more food!

For the first time in my life, I came to realize the agony of UTP students who came to Tronoh to study. They always ask me, what is there to do in a small town: Ipoh. But I always defend this small little hometown of mine, stating that we can actually do many things here. But today, today after breakfast, we didn't know what to do next. And like usual, we ended up in one of the shopping complexes: Jusco.

Hmm..the thing is, we don't really have any interesting fun things to do in Ipoh. Probably if you like the nature, you can always opt for a short trip to Gua Tempurung (but that's not even located in Ipoh!), or short walks in the parks in Ipoh: Polo Ground, D.R Park, and we do have our small Go-Kart racing circuit too. Just that I have never been there.
But interesting things to do? I have no idea. Besides eating that is.

So, we ended up in Jusco, did a little shopping, and we decided what to eat next. It's like our free time is filled with eating only..hehe..

 
Chicken pie. One of Beacon Point's specialities.
How different is this compared to those cheap ones? Well..urm..that's RM5.80 you would have to pay to try it!

This is their very own special laksa lemak.  Abit too spicy for my liking, but well, urm..RM8.30..quite pricey, but it's secukup rasa..Not stingy on the ingredients..

Close-up. Something different compared to the usual Assam Laksa you have. Though nothing beats Air Itam's Assam Laksa in Penang!

One of the must-try in Beacon Point too.

Beacon Point is well-known for its array of cakes. And this, TIRAMISU, is one of the best in town! You can actually feel the rum trickling down your throat. No, this is not the usual "fake" tiramisu you find in any bakery shop in town. For RM12.00, you are paying for something which totally worth every single cent! 

Orgasmic scoop..hehe! It was a pity we had to share, since we were already bloated by noon. Their carrot walnut cake is delicious too..

The food-hunt ended there and then. Simply because we had enough for the day. Damage to the wallet. Damage to the stomach. Adding layers of fat! But, it's food-theraphy lah.

Eat when you have nothing better to do! That's Ipoh town for you.

And now, I'm going out for dinner.

Did anyone watch the historical Badminton match between ChongWei and LinDan at 8.50p.m. ?

I'm sure everyone did, and most of us are just so disappointed with how the match was like. But then again, at least, it's our 1st silver medal, since Badminton is Malaysia's only hope. Well, some of them, leave harshful comments about how Chong Wei played, but then again, imagine having the entire country putting its hope on you. I'm sure some of us would crack under that amount of pressure! Nevermind lah, train for another 4 years lor, ChongWei!

I came back to UTP, to find most of them put something as their GTALK taglines..

"Silver in Olympic is good enough. We are not the player so it is not for us to judge... still... Job well done! Congrats!!! 1st silver for Msia!"

"All of the sudden, the Cheering losses its flare BUT the Malaysia Boleh Spirits Remains, a silver today is for a better gold tomorrow"

"When he steps into the court today to face Lin Dan - currently the world's no 1 - he knows the whole of Malaysia is behind him."

and I find this pretty true..straight to the point!

"CWLee-good job!!!PPL...don't judge the result because you don't even contribute anything to the country!!!"

and mine was..

"People would sit and wait in mamak for an hour, just to wait for a badminton match. People would cheer and jeer, for a badminton match. So, tell me why some people keep harping on racial integeration, this and that..c'mon.."

I wasn't sure if I was making any sense, but erm..Skerzo said she loves it! Lol!

Alright, I'm grateful that Dr.IK cancelled his class this morning, and I've gotta the chance to enjoy the morning breeze and then the heavy rain. I got to sleep in this morning! Today's a happy day, don't you reckon?

So, meet these two

on my dashboard...

posers betul lah...

And things got really heated up when urm....

And you guys didn't believe when I told you I wrote the karmasutra..hehe!

I had troubles concentrating on driving and taking pictures at the same time. Why? Laughing till my intestines were about the break anytime! Hahhahaha!!!

Proud owners of such horny cute toys..

Thanks to Mel who got me that! Lol!! Now I don't have to drive alone jor..hehe..

On the way home, after dropping Mel, I had to strapped 'it', in case 'it' got itchy again...

I fell asleep listening to David Cook's "Always Be My Baby" on iPod. I didn't know I had it looping and certainly didn't know I can fell asleep just like that. I woke up, with David Cook's vocals..and I hope I didn't cry in my sleep last night.

The dreams are coming back. I thought I was strong. I thought I was fine, but I was wrong.

We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine

Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die
No!

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I know that you'll be back girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh
I know that, you'll be right back, babe
Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my my baby....

You'll always be a part of me (you will always be)
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (we will linger on....)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

Always be my baby- David Cook

I miss you, and that's something I can never do anything about. Because you are always gonna be my baby.

I have been on the road ever since this morning. Don't ask me where I've been. You know I won't tell.

Have you ever had an encounter with a person which you really don't want to see? And when you see that he or she's walking to your path from far, you don't know what to do. You want to turn around and walk the other way, but when you think about it, why should you run if he's the problem in the first place? On the other hand, if you were to walk and bump into one another, you can't even bring yourself to fake a smile. Well, urm, that really explains one person's level of "yong sui-ness" right?

For me, I took the high road. I blasted my iPod, with Sean Paul's, and took a different route. All because I can't bring myself to fake a smile or worst still, I was afraid I would lose my cool, and start whacking him instead. Lol!

I will acknowledge the whole world, but you? Well, I don't talk to assholes.

Ok, the last entry was unnecessary.

Woke up feeling groggy this morning. My lab will not start until 11pm. But I had to wake up early to use the internet, since the bandwidth is taken away at night, so morning, the 'pencurik' still belum bangun. So I faster faster do my online stuffs. Sigh, so jit dor..need to result into such act.

I can't go home this weekend. Why?

As of date, I have 4 lab reports and 1 assignment waiting to be completed and handed in, on MONDAY MORNING. I roughly have 4 days to complete it, and to top that, I have a TEST on MONDAY MORNING itself. And all these reports, assignments and test, comes from ONE SUBJECT. Try guessing which..

wastewater. engineering. (aaarrrggghhhhhhh!!)

I have yet to get started with my lab reports. Suddenly have no idea where to start. Maybe because I'm feeding my emotions with attention, that I am not keen in doing anything. Suddenly, my hopes and dreams to work hard for this semester crashed. Suddenly I feel like I'm all alone, fighting this losing battle. Suddenly, suddenly, suddenly I wanna cry, like how the rain is, now.

I don't know how to deal with people. Like whenever they asked me how I was coping, I smile. And very quickly they assume I was back on track, doing fine, as if the history has been wiped off. Well, it's not like I'm begging for any attention, but because I feel suffocated inside. At times, I just want to yell at the top of my lungs, shouting for the world to stop. Stop for me! Give me time to heal! Don't push me too hard! I need the time to stand up, wipe my tears, fix my wounds, and then take the first step.

Until this very day, I am still haunted with images and thoughts. I cannot accept the fact and move on. I need time. I keep telling myself to enjoy, hang out, move on..but I cannot. Everytime I think I'm fine, it turned out that I'm not. Until I sleep, I can still feel her warmth, just right beside me. Aaarrgghh!!

So many people are having their [emo] streak tonight.
Too bad I'm not the one who can help you.

I just hate it when people give me the sympathetic look. Like they know what's happening, but they don't want to talk about it because they think I would break down. And they just don't know what to do. And they think I deserve all this. Fuck!

I think this happened, because I have so many things to do, but just don't know where to start. And because I bumped into the asshole a few days ago. Bad luck!

p/s: am beginning to enjoy my ETP mates companionship. We went to our first "mapley" session tonight.

Muscle cramp this morning. The backbone hurts again.
Didn't want to go for Malaysian Studies at 8am, but then I skipped the previous class. I went, and sat there, flipped through the Wastewater text book.. Half hoping I didn't waste my time coming to class.
I was about to doze off, PeiChie came. We spend the last hour of the class, catching up. Good!

Everytime I am in a crowd, even though I can laugh out loud, flash out a wide grin, yet no one realizes that the background is slowly eating me up. No one knows I sink into the background of their laughters. No one knows that I actually don't feel like talking. But I've gotta pretend. Pretend everything's fine.

28 days since we last talked. Do you still remember my existance? or you've been busy indulging in your new love?

I can't remember the last time of me drinking, without any problems in mind..

You still linger in my mind, at times.
And even though it was TzeYang's birthday last night, I can never deny the fact that alot was playing in my mind.

But let's not focus on me today, it was afterall TZEYANG'S day..

Happy 21st!

你怎麼舍得我难过 ( 黄品源)

对你的思念 是一天又一天　
孤单的我还是没有改变
美丽的梦 何时才能出现　
亲爱的你 好想再见你一面
秋天的风 一阵阵的吹过　
想起了去年的这个时候
你的心 到底在想些什麼　
为什麼留下 这个结局让我承受

最爱你的人是我　
你怎麼舍得我难过
在我最需要你的时候　
没有说一句话就走
最爱你的人是我　
你怎麼舍得我难过
对你付出了这麼多　
你却没有感动过

At the ConvoSquare earlier, as part of their opening gimmick, the university prepared fireworks which lasted about 2 minutes. As I looked up to the sky and see the blooming fireworks, reminded me the time, we witnessed our first fireworks together.

I can still remember I held you close, as we looked up. And silently, I was grateful that I had no one else but you, by my side, to welcome the new year. Even though we were stuck in the traffic for 4 hours after that, but everything was worth it. Because you were there with me.

Who am I kidding? I still think of you before I sleep each night..

"I believe for you and me, the sun will shine one day. So I just play my part, that you will have a change of heart. But I can't make you see it through, that's something only love can do.."

Am supposed to finish up my lab report, but somehow, I am not up for it yet.
I feel like going home, and just abandon my lab reports. Screw it, even if we have to hand it up on Monday. And the quiz, the quiz on Monday, screw it lah..

I read a few junior's blog this morning, wondered if I was that screwed up when I was their age. Perhaps, even worst! Lol! But it's okay, it's a part of growing up. One day, when we are about 30, and if Tabulas is still up and running, we can probably laugh at how silly was I..

Not going back this weekend, means skipping a session with the doctor. Well, and next week too, since I'm going to Singapore. The pain has gotta wait, I guess.

I really can't kid myself, Alas, I'm really getting older!

Yeah, I know..I know..this like my 3rd entry for the day..but but..but..erm..it's Saturday! I am stuck inside, so I need to do something..

Ok, ok..there's lab reports..sigh!!

Bought alot PETRONAS SAUBER shirts in the Convofair today. Purposely woke up and walked all the way to the ConvoSquare for it..I spend..like..urm...RM200 this morning alone..Fuck...!! Economy crisis!

Nothing to do, when to flirt with the bear..oklah, technically the A&W mascot..hehe!

We are already 21, yet..yet...aah!! Don't jealous lah!

I know you miss me lah...I know...

How come can be so yeng..I also don't understand..tskk tsk...

p/s: Shall update later, the bouquet of flowers, the smile, and the *grins*, cornish peace sign..hehe!

*lol!!*

I love the fact that I can be intimidating..
(Suddenly the last entry doesn't matter anymore)

*Someone just made my day. Hahha..

p/s: You guys should listen to Nichole Scherzinger feat T.I's "Whatever You Like" .

"I'll do whatever I like
I'll do whatever I like
I can do, I can do
I do, I do whatever I like

What I want?

I'll do whatever I like
I'll do whatever I like
I can do, I can do
I do, I do whatever I like"

Was lying on the bed, going on MSN with my handphone, while chatting with Eewan and Chesh. The conversation got heated up, since the 3 of us have different ideas about certain issues. Well, at least it was 2 against 1. As much as I hate to admit, they were right at some point, but I was not entirely wrong either. Alas, I had to quit the conversation, since my credit was low.

So, guys, I'm sorry it had to end that way!

[this is a must-read]

We were definitely talking about some issues. As usual, they brought up my blogpage. Apparently that's an issue..Hmm..
For a few good moments, I was defensive about my blog page. Because to me, this is a private space of mine, which no one is supposed to intrude. Well, technically, you can log onto this page, but whatever I write, is my business. I can write anything under the sky, but it could be about anyone and anything. How can one know what I'm writing about unless you are the writer herself? Honestly, sometimes I typed out a whole lot of crap, yet at the end, I know nothing of what I've written.

So how can a stranger possibly knows what I've written?

And then, Eewan said something.
"We are all adults. We should be responsible with the things we said and done."

And it struck me.

That I was no longer the little girl at home, that I was no longer the "dai ka jie" of high school, that I was no longer the person I used to be.

Where have my senses go?

Such small kecik-mayung actions should not be affecting me at all. I should overlook the petty things and continue with my own life. Why was I affected with such actions and words when it doesn't really matter anymore?

I remember the other day, when we went down for dimsum in the morning, one of them told a story about their childhood, and how she would remember the girl she hated for the rest of her life, and if possible, she would take vengence.
Upon hearing that, I quickly told her,
" Aiyo..so long already..still remember for what? Forget lah..Wait..eh..FORGIVE LAH..but don't forget..FORGIVE!"

and just now, when I was lying on the bed, I kept having the same thoughts. What if I'm not bothered about anything anymore? Would I lead a happier, simpler life? Well, bear in mind, I'm not afraid of the repercussions or consequences, but simply, I'm old enough to stop playing in the sand pit.

I'm already an adult. I should be doing big things, like taking care of my business, concentrate on my degree, taking care of my investments, paying off the new car and house, getting a good job for my internship..etc.
Should I be concentrating on things like these instead of feeding my emotions, and playing in the sand pit?

Suddenly I realized, I have more things in life to achieve. Much more important elements in life that I should take care about.
And within one night, such thoughts struck me. And all thanks to a phrase from a friend.

"We are all adults."

Looking forward to the day when we can talk as friends. I'm up for it anytime now.

And in the midst of me, playing a role of an adult, I'm still looking at the sand pit. One day, I can just lose my senses and jump in and play again, but that one day, has gotta wait. For I have better things to do today.

p/s: "It doesn't matter what was told to her, she knows you more than anyone does. She knows better. You need not worry. You are still the Khian she knows.."  

pp/s: I have not changed, a single bit.

I don't like the fact that when 5 is found, the 1 is kicked out.
And when 1 is needed, 2 would come and beg for 1's help.
And if anything happens, 4 blame 1 for fong fei kei.
What is this?

Can't believe my lab reports stuck halfway, yet I'm not in the mood to complete them.
I have a serious case of migraine, must be because of the rain lah. Shouldn't be caught in the rain.
A friend of mine used to pester me to use the umbrella, but I was always stubborn to use an umbrella. Lol!

Q: Why did the ball-less chicken try to cross the road?

A: Because he went looking for his missing balls..!

Well, don't ask me why chickens have balls, and why I use he instead of it, or whether I am trying to imply something here. Well, hullo, it's just a joke..and I used he instead of it, is because chickens who have balls, are definitely a male lah right? So, the chicken is a "he" lah..haha!

A chicken out on the loose, with missing balls..lol! Funny eh..

p/s: Got people sombong already..say hello also never reply..somemore big big tagline say in a party mood..adei..sombong jor...

This year's 8th convocation, I made my way to the Chancellor Hall, waited patiently for the ceremony to end. In hand, bouquet of flowers, waiting for the fresh graduates to march out from the hall, full of hope and dreams.
I thought I was only there to meet up with one senior: QiHua, little did I know, I kinda know many of them. Mostly because I was involved in Rotaract Club.

Khian, TeeHooi, Aiting.
The 3 of us even more "gan-cheong" than the parents there!
(We are in identical colours leh..)

I looked tired. Woke up 10 minutes before heading to Chancellor's. Hahha..I was late..! This is QiHua.
We were supposed to go for dimsum before her semester ended, but due to unforeseen circumstances, plans were cancelled. Aaah, next time yea, QiHua?

This is us, with Mr. Andre and his wife. He just graduated with his masters. How we knew him? He used to be incharged of us for AutoCad, Concrete Tech..haha, and we always flirt with him lah..since we wanna delay our datelines..lol!

Hamed and I.
I didn't know he graduated. I only got to know this guy after working for Digi. And yeah, there were a couple of times I bumped into him in Kelana Jaya LRT line..haha..

TeeHooi, Khian, Ah Wong, Aiting, Joshua
All of us knew Ah Wong, ever since we stepped into UTP, since he was  our facillitator for our orientation.

Aiting, Pinky, TeeHooi, Khian, ShiouTing with bouquet of flowers, waiting outside. Lol!

Khian and Joshua. This Joshua was my Rotaract 8th President. Hahha..Kaki-Clubber nih..somemore Buaya..somemore sweet talker..lol! See, take pictures also, looking at dunno where..adei..

Khian and Leong. Hahha, knew it in Rotaract also. We even went to Cameron, for the Orang Asli Kampung in one car..Got life-death experience also..lol!

Khian and LeeSha
Met in Rotaract Club. Also kaki-Clubber..hehhe

This is Kulvinder. If you are involved in Nuffnang, you'd probably know her. She was featured in one of the Nuffnang's activities..Hahha..pretty eh? And very popular too..when she asked me to take a picture with her, I thought it was only her camera..see see, there were 3 cameras, and 1 camcorder..So geng..

Frankie and Khian
Famous Nuffnang-er now! Hehhe..

And this is SuetYeng lah..she wanted to camwhore with me while waiting for the graduation ceremony to end..lol!

One thing I learned from this convocation, is that flowers, plushies, soft toys can be extremely expensive. Especially the booths opened at the side of the halls..hehe..

Next convocation, the amount of seniors I know is more! Dielah, bankrupt soon..hehe..

I came home last night, expecting a dinner with Mel and Jiang Mun, some Singapore dollars waiting for me at home, and a night of speedy internet connection. As I was driving home, I felt my eye twitching, the exact way it did, before my accident back in 2005. I drove slowly, in fear that an accident would happen to me, but I arrived safely in Ipoh. I put the fear away, thinking that the eye-twitching was due to something else.

As soon as I called mum when I reached home, she was on the phone, in tears. Surprised, shocked, and because the line was unclear, all I heard was "I'm in the hospital now."

My mind was racing inside. I quickly called dad to ask what happened.
And then, he told me that my uncle was admitted into the hospital last night, due to stroke.

It happened before. A few years back. He got a stroke, but he recovered soon after. This time, it was however, different. The doctor told us that he's not going to make it for the night.

As soon as dad put the phone down, another call came in for me.

This time, it was mum.
and all I heard was, "Cannot already. Last breath." and she hung up.

Shocked again.

Then another text came in from dad. He said, not to go to Singapore. I have to stay for the funeral.
I didn't know what to say then. This is Singapore we are talking about. On the other hand, there's this uncle who's part of the family.

I didn't reply his text.
Instead, I went to pay my bills, do my errands, and even drove all the way to Ipoh Garden East to Redcom to get a new MP3 player.

I was never good in dealing with deaths. I don't know the way to react to them.
I remember when my granddad passed away when I was 17, it didn't occur to me that a person close to me has passed away.

Anyway, after I've done my stuffs, mum called to bring her for dinner. So I drove all the way home to pick her up. That was when she told me about the corpse not being able to be send to his own home, due to family matters, the family feud, the herritance..And I kept quiet the whole time she told me the story.

I told her to stay out of the family matter, and just focus on the funeral itself. She shouldn't be worried about all his family punya hal lah.

Now, it's 9am, I was supposed to head back to UTP to attend classes but I caught a cold, and a mild fever, so the head was abit heavy, and I didn't make it.
I'm supposed to head back soon, no matter what, to pack my bags and head down to Singapore tonight.
But I need to pay my last respects to my uncle before I leave.

Should I go back to UTP? or should I stay till I pay my last respects? I need to pack my bags, and it's taking me forever to decide.

p/s: Life is unpredictable. One minute you are up and alive, the next, you might be burried.

I came home last night, expecting a dinner with Mel and Jiang Mun, some Singapore dollars waiting for me at home, and a night of speedy internet connection. As I was driving home, I felt my eye twitching, the exact way it did, before my accident back in 2005. I drove slowly, in fear that an accident would happen to me, but I arrived safely in Ipoh. I put the fear away, thinking that the eye-twitching was due to something else.

As soon as I called mum when I reached home, she was on the phone, in tears. Surprised, shocked, and because the line was unclear, all I heard was "I'm in the hospital now."

My mind was racing inside. I quickly called dad to ask what happened.
And then, he told me that my uncle was admitted into the hospital last night, due to stroke.

It happened before. A few years back. He got a stroke, but he recovered soon after. This time, it was however, different. The doctor told us that he's not going to make it for the night.

As soon as dad put the phone down, another call came in for me.

This time, it was mum.
and all I heard was, "Cannot already. Last breath." and she hung up.

Shocked again.

Then another text came in from dad. He said, not to go to Singapore. I have to stay for the funeral.
I didn't know what to say then. This is Singapore we are talking about. On the other hand, there's this uncle who's part of the family.

I didn't reply his text.
Instead, I went to pay my bills, do my errands, and even drove all the way to Ipoh Garden East to Redcom to get a new MP3 player.

I was never good in dealing with deaths. I don't know the way to react to them.
I remember when my granddad passed away when I was 17, it didn't occur to me that a person close to me has passed away.

Anyway, after I've done my stuffs, mum called to bring her for dinner. So I drove all the way home to pick her up. That was when she told me about the corpse not being able to be send to his own home, due to family matters, the family feud, the herritance..And I kept quiet the whole time she told me the story.

I told her to stay out of the family matter, and just focus on the funeral itself. She shouldn't be worried about all his family punya hal lah.

Now, it's 9am, I was supposed to head back to UTP to attend classes but I caught a cold, and a mild fever, so the head was abit heavy, and I didn't make it.
I'm supposed to head back soon, no matter what, to pack my bags and head down to Singapore tonight.
But I need to pay my last respects to my uncle before I leave.

Should I go back to UTP? or should I stay till I pay my last respects? I need to pack my bags, and it's taking me forever to decide.

p/s: Life is unpredictable. One minute you are up and alive, the next, you might be burried.

A short text is enough. I never asked for more.

You don't need to be in a life-and-death experience to realize who's really important in your heart.
and yes, I'm back to reality already. 

p/s: Why the person who makes you smile, isn't me?

I keep taking pictures everyday.
I take pictures of food, random people, buildings, peculiar figures, etc.

But little do I know, that the 'thing' I wanted to capture most.., is a moment of you and me, together.