"Eh, leng lui, you go there for a while, I help you do it instead."

"Ok."

My dad spoke: "Hello, siao jie, that's not leng zhai lah..she's a girl..supposed to be leng lui.."

I said, "Daddy, she said leng lui lah..since when she said I leng zhai??"

The waitress grinned. "Nolah, I said leng lui..I know she's a girl."

My mum frowned. My granddad kept quiet.

Ok, one question. Why am I always mistaken for a guy?

Sometimes as I queued up to buy food, and when I get my change, the other person who served me would say,
"Terima kasih bang!"

And I don't bother correcting him/her. Why bother? I get so tired explaining my gender, just because most of the people I know said I dress like a guy. Haihs.

Do I really dress up like a guy? Just because I prefer to be clad in shorts, t-shirts, shades most of the time, doesn't mean I am one. And because I have no sexual preference for a life-time partner, doesn't make me less feminine..sigh.

I have enough with people mistaken me for the opposite sex. But no, I'm not going to change the style I adapt to, just because I want to prove my gender. Hell..no..heels and skirts have gotta wait.



Do I really possess a guy's look? Hmmm....

I still owe people a long entry about my absence for the last 3 days. However I'm still data-collecting (waiting for pictures) so, in the mean time, I have gotta complete my extra super-duper long lab report, which needs to be submitted by tomorrow!

Well, I'm still me. No matter what they say.


I'm "only-myself". Dot com. 

I was away for 3 days, to a trip down south.

The trip was organized by UCITY, and we spend 2 nights in UTM's hostel. As most of you would know by now, to travel down south takes about 8 hours.

Being cramped in the bus, some actions were taken place..

This is when me and my busmate having a casual conversation in the bus.

Then, the person who sat in front overheard our conversation, and wanted to join in.

Suddenly she wanna hold my hand...

Can you see that my busmate, at ths point, has already sneaked away, running from the playful fight?

The torturing continued..

and continued..

non-stop...

The fight lasted for 10 minutes on the bus..

and at the end, I was "diperkosakan".....

The busmate who ran away upon seeing trouble. Darn!

p/s: Short preview of the trip! Shall write more when there's time. Am busy focusing on MoonLight Resonance at the moment..hehe

We were told that we were gonna depart from UTP at 9pm, sharp! Any seconds later than that, that's bye-bye to you and one extra seat in the bus. Being the "punctual" ones, we were there, an 45 minutes earlier to set an example to the juniors. But as usual, UTP's time = Malaysia's time. We only left UTP at 9.15pm. Ok, that's an improvement since it's only 15 minutes delay.

I plugged in my faithful iPod, since it was gonna be a 4-hour journey before reaching the first stop, when suddenly, the bus stopped at the nearby Esso Mobil Petrol Station, just 3 minutes after leaving the university's main gate. It was rather weird, as we come from UTP, and it's an unwritten law that the busses should be pumped with PETRONAS oil.(even if you are in need of petrol, also you must die-die find the nearest PETRONAS station, hehe!)

Ok, so the bus broke down, just minutes away leaving the campus. Apparently, the headlights were off all of a sudden, and the aircond just wouldn't start. The weird thing was, the bus was powered on for about 30 minutes earlier, and both the compartments were working fine. Hmm, so, the 40 of us, were left stranded in the station, leaving us "taking over" the Mobil mart, while some of them, went off to the nearest food stand: 'Tomyam Tropikal'. The thing is, I think we were rather noisy, since the pump station workers were staring at us, as if hinting to us to leave the Mobil Mart, asap. Lol!

The journey continued, after the wiring was fixed. And all of us dozed off, only stopping once in some rest area at 4am. I was hungry then, thus bought myself a Ayam kari pau. Imagine, at 4am. That's even early for Sahur!

The next time I opened my eyes, we were already inside UTM, Skudai, right beside the mosque. The students were send down to do the prayers, whereas the ones who need not pray continued sleeping. After completing their morning prayers, we were then divided into pairs and assigned rooms in Kolej 9. Although the guide who was with us then, kept assuring us that there's a lift, but we weren't able to find it. Since I was assigned a room on the 5th floor, and I'm used to walking up the stairs back in UTP, I took the stairs instead. Actually, all of us were placed on the 5th floor.

We were given 30 minutes to get ourselves prepared and we set out to our first destination:
"Civil Department in UTM"..

Well, this is part of the group..

I think this was some sort of hall lah..they gave us a mini-briefing, telling us the history of UTM, and the department.

We were then given some light refreshments, and although we were full after having a hearty breakfast in the campus's cafe, yet, we managed to stuff more into our tummies..hehe..jenis kiasu ni..


The cam-whoring started early in the morning!

We were then brought around the department's campus. The first stop was to the Structural Labs. I was pretty amazed with the lab's facilities, considering the ample place for equipments. Albeit abit old and used, yet the facilities are complete, unlike UTP. Well, it cannot be compared that way, considering the fact that UTM is already an established University, and UTP's only about 10 years old. The fact that UTM's campus is huge, so their labs were as spacious as hangars..hmm...

Our first stop.

Everyone was already tired at the 2nd stop!

Not only we stopped in the Structural labs, we were also brought to the marine lab, and the aeronautical lab, but I shall not bore you with such technical stuffs lah..hehe!

This is us, in the marine lab. Good stimulator!

I was given the opportunity to board the stimulator and actually experience the waves on the boat..lol!
(looking quite awesome eh?)

This is when we were clowning around in the aeronautical lab.

A picture of me, with the modals.

Like I've been saying for the past few days in UTM, that we are from the Civil Department, thus we are not interested in labs such as marine and aeronautical stuffs, thus we always do other things during lab visits..such as..erm..being naughty in front of the camera..lol!

Like being cynical.

Like being serious and attentive.

Pretending to be chilled.

Playing with models, even though not the kind of models I wanna play with..

We then proceeded to one of the fields for the activites that PEKA (Persatuan Kejuruteraan Awam UTM) had planned for us.
But before that, we had to do one important thing..

Everyone getting ready...and me tugging in hard...

Holding hands..

Wait for it...
wait for it..
wait...
wait....
wait...

and....

Yeah, dumb. but don't jelesss...

Story to be continued after my lab. Damn, running late..and yes, it's wastewater lab! aaarrgghh!!

p/s: and you, jia you for your revision le!

We were brought to one of the fields, near Kolej Tun Hussein Onn.

At first, most of us were relunctant to go into the tennis court for the activities that PEKA has already arranged for us. I saw the pails of water, with water balloons in it. Heck, I was in my only pair of jeans for the entire trip, no way was I going to Singapore with a pair of shorts! (ooops, at this rate, you've probably guessed I'm gonna talk about Singapore next!)

So, we sat at a nearby pondok waiting for the activities to finish..

This is only part of the people who "curik" tulang..hehe

However, halfway through, we felt bad lah..is that the way we wanna potray to the UTM kids that we are not as active and sporting as them? Cannot lah right? Dengan berjiwa UTP yang bersungguh-sungguh, we stepped into the tennis court and became..

pom-pom girls! [see the perfect 'T'..??]

Though the games which was prepared for us, were tad bit childish, something like sukaneka, but I believe, it's those games which bring us back to our childhood memories, and strengthen bonds easily. Since the people who went for this trip all came from different backgrounds, these small activites not only bridge the gap of PEKA and UCITY, also within our small tour group.
After seeing how much fun they were having, I got itchy, and joined in one of their activities.

"PICKING UP PEANUTS USING CHOPSTICK."

Though they seem to have this impression that Chinese are good with the chopsticks, but little do they know, I can't even hold the chopstick properly! However, picking up peanuts, was like 'kacang' since I am used to doing that.

Catch me in action!

Get ready..ready..ready....

Get set...set...

Racing against time!..

After one game, we got tired..hahah! Getting old d leh..3rd year cannot main too long..Let the foundation and 1st years dominate the game je lah..

waited at the side of the court..

After they finished with the water and flour game, the mandatory game: TARIK TALI was played.

As usual, UTP guys like "sepuluh tahun tak main" like that, quickly all queued up to get involved. And not that I wanna puji them lah, but UTP's guys' size like besar besar..and the UTM's guys like kecik mayung..hehe...

Check out the size of our 'anchor'!!

Once pulled, we don't even have the time to take pictures..haha! It was an easy 2-0 win!

And this is Joshua, whom I think the energy he provided actually helped..hehe..

This is Nasrul(former UCITY president) and some guy (current PEKA president). The "some-guy" is kinda cute eh, for a Malay..lol!

A group of CIVIL ENGINEERS-in-the making!

That night, there were no other activities, except that we had dinner in a nearby town: BANDAR UNIVERSITI. We had Johor's famous "Sup Peria", though I find nothing special but yeah, it's so commercialized there. I managed to walk around Jusco which was nearby, and got "cheated" by Giordano for its 40% sales. Lol!!

We were expected to turn in early that night as the next day, we had to depart to Singapore at 6am. Being the social butterfly as I am, I gave a call to Wei Ai and Kam Wah since they were the only ones I know who are there, and they came and met up with me. An hour of catching up since KamWah has test the following morning. Too bad I couldn't meet up with PooiYeng even though we were in the same hostel area..What a pity!


The Singapore bit is coming up next!

p/s: Work hard for your finals eh..

The return of Gossip Girl, season 2.

This is worth noting.
As I was "clearing" my inbox, this sms caught my attention.

"Ok ok. Y he so not gentleman one? Go n cari pasal wit a gal. Like a bitch onli. Lol."

Hahha..imagine a guy being a bitch? Lol. What were we even talking about then, I wonder. Lol!!
So, Gossip Girl, bring it on okay!
I am tired of all campus gossips, give me nicer dramas alright?

p/s: to all the bitches-bitches sekalian, leave all your bitching away from me okay..now is bulan ramadhan, so, top up your pahala levels lah..this also applies to those who don't puasa also lah..

I meant to write about what happened in Singapore and the rest of the trip, but my emotions are pretty unstable at the moment. The backache is back. The fact that I missed a week's of medication, mum keeps harping on it. Damn, luckily I'm going back this weekend.

Just got to know something from my coursemates. Not really a shocking news, considering I've predicted it for a very long time now. Hahha, well, you know, life is like this big old drama. The only difference is, we are either watching it LIVE or we are acting in it. We don't have to sit and wait for the drama to be downloaded, because every second, a new drama is bound to be on "aired". Quoted from Shakespeare," Life's a stage, full of players"..or something like that lah..haha..

Having Economics test tomorrow. Alot playing in mind. To tell or not to tell. To say or not to say. To sell or not to sell. To buy or not to buy. Life's turning into a big casino to me. Every second is a gamble to me. Every minute, a life may be lost. I don't know when's mine, coming to an end.

"Eh, AngKhian angkhian..tell you something...but you cannot be angry one ge wor..."

"What?"

"Err..don't know who leh..who lah..say you look like hamster.."

"..diao.."

..alowllowlowwla....cute nyeerrr...

Glad that life's turning out fine these days.

Like how I kept stressing on integration with my coursemates, thus, Yasmin, Zareina, Azman and I went to the nearest Bazaar to have dinner together. We managed to drop by in Medan to have dinner, though sharing the same fork, yet it was fine. It never crossed my mind that it was possible for us to hang out and have dinner, and talk like we were old buddies. I think Yas, Zareina and I only got closer and "happening" giler this semester. This is really good eh.

And just came back from mamak with PeiChie and SanNien. Gosh, so much was updated to me lah..haha.. and am glad that the seniors still remember my number lor..haha..and yes, Peichie, we shall have dinner, at least ONCE before the semester ends, and then, it's bye-bye to you guys already! Gosh! Time passes by so fast! I still remember the time when we went out for breakfast on the last day of semester of MY FOUNDATION 2 YEAR! Gosh!

Though I was having slight headache, and caught a cold due to the rain, yet nothing stopped me from smiling to sleep tonight..

p/s: Peace to you.. "JiaYou!"

I understand that my current state worries alot of people. I'm sorry.

and it pains my heart when someone actually asked me, "When will you be the AngKhian I used to know again?" 

I'm looking forward to getting better soon.

The weekend has been simply awesome. Pictures shall be posted soon!
and I came home, on Saturday, like every other weekend, I would bring my parents out, either for dinner or lunch, and sometimes, even a short yumcha session in Oldtown Kopitiam with my aunts and cousins.

This week, was abit different. I went to the hospital with mum, had Japanese for lunch, brought her to the MATTA fair, which we'll be going somewhere far far during my internship period, then yumcha with my aunt and cousin, and finally settled at home.

A wonderful weekend, counting to the end.

At 6.30am, we were asked to gather to board the bus. We were expected to arrive in Singapore's border at 7.30 a.m.. The whole journey to the border was quiet and still, since it was early in the morning, and no one was in the mood to speak a word. The whole gang was splitted up since we were divided into 4 groups. 2 groups in each buses. This is a way to smoothen up the process while crossing the immigration lines, apparently. So, it was only me, ShiouTing, YewTeng, Joshua, Nony in Bus 1. The rest was in Bus 2.

The process was serious while we passed the counters. The woman who was attending to my group, apparently was in a grumpy mood. Immediately I announced that either she was having a strange case of PMS, or she already has menopause. While I was at the counter, thank goodness she didn't yell at me and even smiled. There was this leng chai officer who was standing at the counter that time, who suddenly asked me, "Where are you guys going? What's the purpose of this trip?"

I froze for a minute. I had to come up with an answer, whatever I said, might jeopardize the trip. In case mah..
So, the best answer I could came up with was, "Campus Visit." and smiled gleefully. The officer looked at me, and then shot me a smile. Lol! Suddenly, I find Singaporeans not that bad afterall..hehee..

We board the bus again, our first destination was NUS. I dozed off, since I was so tired, that when I woke up, I was already there.

Pictures are for posing purposes.

Apparently the campus is so big, we were only at the Engineering side of the University.


I was holding NIPS in hand..coz urm..urm..I was hungry lah..I couldn't wait any longer till lunch..

Our host was ENGIN, which acts like a club. They do stuffs like most of clubs do, like organizing charity trips to countries, having family days, hosting other universities to their university..etc. The professors and technicians were friendly, as we were again splitted up to 3 different groups to visit the labs concurrently. Well, as usual, I shall not be too technical about my visit, so to sum it all up, UTP has a long way to go before reaching the same par as NUS.

A few shots of the university's facilities..


ample of vending machines.

Good HSE.

After the visit to NUS, I can hear people comparing UTP to NUS. How unprofessional UTP is, How unsystematic UTP is..yada, yada yada..and the truth to be told, yes, UTP has a lot to learn from NUS. But it's not fair to compare in that way, considering the fact that UTP is way much "younger" than NUS. I believe, with the sufficient funds provided by PETRONAS to UTP, given time, UTP's facilities might just be better than NUS's. [Have faith, UTPians!]

Yes, Malaysians in BLUE! The girl in black, named "Chloe" is the vice president of the ENGIN club. She's a Malaysian by the way, from Alor Setar. The guy in black, right beside me, is a true Singaporean, also the president of ENGIN, is Jason. And his girlfriend, happens to be an Ipohian. Well, that's how small the world is!

Where is TeeHooi?

The cafeteria food is extremely cheap!!
Ok, let's not convert the amount of money.
I asked around, since we had lunch at one of the NUS's central cafeteria..
For a plate of malay rice which consists of a BIG[HUGE] drumstick, 2 vegetables, they only had to pay $3.50.
In UTP's cafe, first, you cannot even find a BIG DRUMSTICK, (let alone a HUGE one), and the variety of food is lesser compared to NUS's. And for that amount of food, you would at least have to fork out a piece of green note. (a.k.a RM5, the least!).

Dollar to dollar. NUS's cafe definitely won hands down!

(and I got myself a glass of COKE for $0.50! Heck!! That price was way back in MGS okay..now in UTP, where can get $0.50 punya COKE??)

that's Calvin and I, in front of the Structural's Lab.

We managed to have a small tour around the campus, and visited the Architecture blocks. Damn, the students were in school on a Saturday, to discuss on some projects! Their workstations look so professional, as if they were in a real architecture office. dAMN!! Jealous..and what do we get? Common rooms? Alright, 'nuff said.

Joshua, ShiouTing, Khian and TeeHooi in one of the parks.

Economics test was..urm..tiring, since I didn't know how to do, I had to send SOS signals around me.

Not in the mood to do anything, since we were going down to Ipoh that night for some Civil Fun.

I remember the night before Economics test, I put my GTALK caption as,
"Eh, why like didn't do something this week..What is it ah? What..oh..oo yeah! We forgot to go IPOH, Civilians!"

and thus, minutes later,
one of their GTALK captions was "IPOH TOMOLO."

Shall I explain the spontaniety of our group?

 
ShiouTing, Khian and TeeHooi in the car, waiting for the guys to come out from the main hall after the test. How can Guys be slower than girls? That's life in UTP. Ok, in civil department to be exact!

Story cut short. No fancy food this time around. No expensive expenditures.
Why?

:: We have bigger plans for the future.

The 3 girls

The 2 ducks gays guys

and together, we bring you..

the most fearful, powerful combination in the faculty.

We watched Money No Enough 2. We laughed. We joked. And we made big plans.

p/s: And if you are wondering what's up with the BMW shirts. Told you, we have bigger plans.

Feeling abit low tonight.

No words can describe the way I'm feeling right now.

I'm upset.

I crawled to bed, at 11pm.
I thought I couldn't sleep, but I managed to doze off.
The next time my eyes were opened, it was 11.15pm.
Great, 15 minutes worth of shut-eyes.

Then I shivered in bed.
As if I was left stranded in Antartica. I felt so cold, that it took up every ounce of energy left in me, to lower the speed of the fan.
But I was still shivering.

The whole night was spend toss and turn in bed.
What if tonight is the night?

My asthma attack is back.

These few days, the same song has been looping in my iTunes , iPod and my mind.

愛不疚 - 林峰 [家好月圓 片尾曲/插曲 ]

收藏在眼眸 常徘徊左右 愛猜到沒有
愉快玩笑後 能全然退後 你開心就夠

這種感覺太親厚 講一千句也不夠
假使講了你聽到後 或會走
這種戀愛太罕有 不須真正擁有
成全 衷心祝福然後 就放手

放手 放開所有 彼此更自由
放手 其實我絕非愛得不夠
放手 豁出所有 還有這個好友
已經 已經足夠

遙遠是宇宙 靜靜在背後 去看守就夠

這種感覺太親厚 講一千句也不夠
即使一剎有過衝動 挽你手
這種戀愛太罕有 不須真正擁有
成全 多捨不得仍然 是放手

放手 放開所有 彼此更自由
放手 其實我絕非愛得不夠
放手 豁出所有 還有這個好友
已經 已經足夠

放手 我的牽掛 找不到盡頭
放手 期望你幸福甚麼都有
也許 愛很深厚 然而我早看得透

放手 至可擁有

If only most of my readers know how to read Chinese. You can probably relate to why I like this song so much.

放手- Let Go

>>It's hard to act like an adult, even harder to pretend to be one.

This is the continuation of the "Down to South" entry.

After NUS, we visted the

"URA- Urban Redevelopment Authorities."

This is where the future plans of Singapore can be seen in landscape models.
And from the models I see, it's no doubt that Singapore is progressing pretty well, even better than Malaysia, considering Malaysia has a many lands, but no way as interesting as Singapore's.

This is me, at the City Gallery, which is located on the 2nd floor of the URA.

There were many fascinating stuffs, and the technical things lah..Cool if we were given more time to actually go through them, one by one..

Spot me?

We probably created a scene, and made passing-cars stop..hehe

Aaah....

Maxwell Road? And the red building right, kinda reminds me of Penang's Bata Stall leh..exactly the same..except that this building has alot of restaurants inside. (Penangnites, care to confirm?)

Up next: Marina Barage.



a little sneak preview..haha..

I know, at this point, many of you would say..
"huh..what mirana..what barage...you said wrongly isit?? Marina Bay isit.."

Err..No. We did go to a place called "Marina Barage" and you have no idea what it is, because it's not open to public yet~

p/s: Gotta get back to Gossip Girl, episode2. And yes, Steel test later this evening!

You still make me cry in the middle of the night.
You are still the reason of my sleepless nights...

Last night was a blast, even though it was a collision of two different faculties. But that's gonna be another story.

Remember Marina Barrage? We were the first to "conquer" the place as it is not open to the public yet. Well, if I'm not mistaken, it's located in Marina Bay, and seeing at how things are at the moment, we can see the launch of the place, probably..next year?

Spot me? And the two photographers of mine?

Notice how messy our hair was..the wind was simply too strong..any thinner than myself, I'd probably be blown off!

We were brought to the Barrage's gallery, where we found alot of fascinating facts about the environment.

This is Winnie, who was our "tour guide" throughout the whole visit in the Marina Barrage. She was probably shocked to see that we are even difficult to handle than primary school kids!

The background is actually bottles and bottles of plastic mineral bottles, with glow-in-the-dark stickers! That's alot of hard work!

This Barrage works as a conservation of water, and the country's environment. This is where it is fully generated with solar power, and the rooftop is covered with grass!
Soon, the place would operate as a food court at the lower ground, with the gallery taking the 2nd floor and for the roof top? The public can use it for recreation purposes.

If you look closely, you would probably notice the history written on the glass panes. That's how cool the place was! You know PetroSains? This was probably wayyyy cooler than that!
Well, as you all probably know, this country has water shortage/crisis, and is recyling their wastewater for drinking purposes. So, this is a way to do it lah, and this gallery educates people about the importance of preserving the environment.

We were probably look like a bunch of jakuns!

Guess where was I?

Civil love..haha..for water! The white thing is actually a drop of water.

Sustainable Singapore!

Good computer! Hi-tech mah? Embedded Computer leh..(but server not working also..!!lol..)

I thought I could wash my hands..but erm...lol!..it's for decoration purposes!..

9 reasons you guys should love mua~~!
(oklah..ok..9 Amazing facts about the Marina Barrage..) 

Actually this barrage is used as a baffle to separate the seawater and the preserved lakes..errrrm..actually horr..I also not so sure..better don't say leh..later I get sued by the country...

Water taps! Damn chun-ted interior deco!

One thing about trips/field trips is it brings you closer and more united to your coursemates, especially. This is Ayub, also known as Uztaz because he always give doa during major events. Since then, I always call him 'Uztaz' but after knowing him throughout this trip, well, let's just say he's far from being a Uztaz!..hehe!!

This place is filled with electrons! I felt static as soon as I entered this room. Imagine when YewTeng passed me the camera, I actually passed him some static..haha..

After walking around the gallery, we were then ushered to a meeting room, where we were given a short presentation about the barrage itself. Then, it's bye-bye Barrage, but you know us, it's more pictures again loh!

Oh my gawd..this picture looks so perverted leh....

Us with 2 tour guides who had a hard time managing us..

Cool fountain eh!?

And one last shot before we board the bus....

engineer-in-the-making okay?? Don't play play nih...

oklah..maybe not last one..another one lorr...

omg omg..so yeng one??

Next up, guess where we went....

and till then, till then...this picture, I <3 most lah!

p/s: Raining leh..time to catch some sleep...[sick mode]

I still remember a few months back, when I was lying on my bed, about to go to sleep, I received a text message from a friend, which I never expected at all. She asked me whether I had a minute, so I jumped up from bed, though having slight headache, yet I sensed the seriousness of the 'minute' she wanted from me. So I called her, and we ended up talking on the phone for 3 whole hours.

Apparently, then, she had some issues with the boyfriend, and wanted to ask my opinions. Knowing that I'm an avid blogger, she requested me not to write about her calling me to avoid all the after-dramas. So, for 3 whole hours, I sat there, on my bed, in the darkness, with my handphone pressed hard on my ears, with the heat generated at the side of my ears.

I talked to her, told her my point of view, even though at that time, I was having some problems of my own too. As I was talking to her, I could felt that my mind was playing tricks on me, and that my problems are not as bad, but I could give her pretty good advice.

So, the phone call ended. And she got back in good terms with the boyfriend. And I never heard from her since then.

Last night, I saw my friend online, and since I wanted someone to talk to, I decided to send her an online text. Most of you would have noticed that I don't spend much time talking online, so this was probably one of the desperate moments when I needed a friend.

And guess what was told to me?

"Eh, I'm busy."

=)

I was on the road, almost the whole day.

Woke up early morning, to get my passport done. Didn't prepare any documents, so everything was done there. Like having my picture taken early in the morning? Gosh! I look horrendous with the morning-look! I can't bear to look at my passport now! And I had to photostat my IC. Gosh..it was 8 in the morning, and I had to quickly complete the application so that I can move on to another plans.

And why do I need a passport so urgently? Hmm..that's one question you'd need to ponder for quite some time..

Anyway, right after completing the application, I had to speed my way to KL.

For what?..-I hear you all the way from here lah..hehe..

Well, getting to KL was easy lah, took me about 2 hours to reach the city centre. And you are wondering whether my Kancil survived the 2-hour journey? Well, my Kancil surely cannot lah! But erm..I will disclose the secret later lah..later you all terkejut pula..hehe..

Anyway, most of them were surprised to know that I was heading to KL on a friday. And one of them made a remark, stating that I was keeping 'one' there. Hahha..one what? I wished I had one lah..
I had to deal with people, get my documents done and finally got my checkup lah.. On the way to somewhere else, TeeHooi called to make some payment for her. So, I had to make a few calls, drive to the bank, and get the job done! So, this is a reminder to everyone to 'belanja' makan, after all the hassle created.

Reached home, ngam-ngam for dinner and had to bring my mum out. Fillial mah..After dinner, didn't want to hang out at home, so called Huiching, only to find out that she was in Ipoh. So, we met up in Starbucks, together with her sister and Ariff.

It has been a long time since I really sat down and had a long conversation with Ariff, especially. Well, there were reasons why I wasn't in a chatty mood this semester, but after hearing stuffs, suddenly I felt that the world is a better place. (and that many people are on my side, in a way..) haha! Glad that I made an effort to Parade to meet up with them, and the glass of Frap Caramel Coffee was worth paying for!

Today's a relatively tired day. Toll money was enough to kill my wallet! But ah, the peace of being behind the wheels? Totally worth it!

Wanted to turn in early tonight, but I think the coffee I had earlier has kicked in, so I guess, it's back to blogging for me lorr..

Thursday, 10.30pm, we all headed down to McD to give HuiChing a surprise birthday party..

She was pretty surprised! to see one big group of us in McD..haha..of course, Ariff had to be our accomplice to ensure that the surprise party went smoothly..
But do you know what was even more surprising?

:: to throw another surprise party for TeeHooi whose birthday falls on TODAY!

The thing is, she was one of the masterminds to prank HuiChing, but little did she knows that the mastermind to prank her was YOURS TRULY! lol..and of course, with little help from Pinky, and some few people, we managed to pull it through..

Well, it wasn't that successful though. It could've been better, but you know how SMART Civil guys are??
They walked into McD before the rest of us managed to walk in. They didn't even wait for my cue! MEMANG BLARDY SMART! So the plan to surprise TeeHooi didn't bring much effect also lah..though she was surprised to see the Civilians there..

HuiChing and I. We are sorta "dating" one another..lol! But she always curang one..

and this is the birthday girl: TeeHooi in white! I think this is the entire Chinese group lah for Civil Engineering July 05's batch. Well, everyone except for Ariff of course..hehe..and my position is wrong lah! In the middle pulak..like birthday girl..haha!

and the whole group. I think we brought down the entire McD..

Imagine a large group of us, walking in, with a candle-lit birthday cake, and singing 'Happy Birthday' at the top of our lungs! Everyone's heads turned and looked at us man! It was like 5 seconds of fame or something..haha! (and our singing?? I think it resulted in the heavy downpour that night..hehe!)

Notty boy Kenneth wanted a picture with every girl..

Wow, this picture reminds me of the good ol' foundation years..

All in all, it was a good supper-night-out..we had late McD for supper/sahur..and reached UTP about 3 am. You could've guessed the attendance the next day..haha..

Like I've mentioned before, though a collision of 2 major faculties, (not to forget 2 mechanical students), we had no differences that night..The wall was torn down..lol! (no, no..we never fight lah..saja..buat drama sikit!)

I am seriously considering investing a good DSLR..

Civilians!

and there you go. We are now coming into Week 8, and yet clueless still..

p/s: Waking up early for breakfast tomorrow! haha..I missed Ipoh lah..

 Well, before I forget lah hor...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TEEHOOI!
(I wanted to call you by your "new" name, but I don't want to die before convocation..so urm..haha..I help you keep the name low profile first..!)

&

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, THIAN HUI CHING!
(heard you getting married???)

"放手 放開所有 彼此更自由
放手 其實我絕非愛得不夠
放手 豁出所有 還有這個好友
已經 已經足夠"

In the midst of pursuing our wants and needs, we tend to forget the one most important thing in life.

That is to be happy.

A lot of things is playing in my mind lately. I see people rushing back to their respective hometowns to celebrate MoonCake festival, but me? I'm just home, because it seems to be a routine for me. Sometimes I find this 21-year-old self, struggling with so many unsolved problems in life, that I find there's too much this little me could bear.

1+1 can never be 3.

I have to deal with alot of issues in life. But none of you would understand what I've to go through. Not only do I have to struggle with my own issues, but when I come home, there are many things which I have to settle. For a 21-year-old, I think, sometimes, I wished I am just as dependant as the rest. Sometimes I wished I can be carefree, couldn't careless about the issues I have to deal with. Sometimes I wished I can just go home, and just do my own things, and not worry about solving other problems.

No one knows the hell I have to go through each day. Everyone sees me as a happy-go-lucky fellow, with loads of cold jokes to share. At certain points, I felt that my existance was just to carve smiles on other people's face. What about mine? Shouldn't I get a fair share too?

Since young, I've learned to be an independant person. For example, dealing with my own financial issues. Making money for my own usage. That's one tough issue for me, at times.

Where is my friend who called me in the middle of the night, wanting to share her problems?
Where are you?

Sometimes, I wished too much.

...You are not that great after all..

When I was younger, I was not much of a family person. I didn't like staying put at home, I didn't do much for the household, I hate going home for reunion dinners, I was pretty submissive and quiet during family gatherings, and I was always on the phone;either texting or calling even during dinners.

I guess I was a selfish prat when I was way much younger. Always putting myself, and my other half in front, making big plans which only involved the two of us. But when she left, my hopes were crushed, and I was left with no one, but my parents and my brother. It took me two years to realize that no one is more important, than your own family members.

Especially after I came home from NS, and entered UTP, I became a totally different person. I was more outgoing, even in front of my grandparents. Making jokes, started to talk more and more. Even most of my older cousins realized that I was no longer this quiet, cool, serious-looking person anymore..haha..

For today, mooncake festival..supposed to be spend with your own family members. For my family, which is the typical chinese-y one, usually we have to go back to my grandparents' place to have dinner, and do all the usual praying ritual lah..And one thing I would like to share is, since our family is quite big lor, we have to sit 2 tables lah..Then hor, usually my family will sit together with my grandparents lah..and the other 2 families will sit separately lah..
And we (usually only me) was never send to the "kids" table..usually since I'm the eldest (the cucu side) I was always given the priority to sit at the 'main' table..haha..cheh..bangga..even my uncles and aunties also have to give face to me leh..haha

Today, I had a long conversation with my aunt-in-law..haha..like best friends pula..lol, though the age gap, we can talk almost about everything lah..and she always said I look damn cool..as in, very 'yeng'..lol! Tonight's dinner was very interesting lah..but I am always the one having to come up with funny annecdotes lor..but somehow, something shocking came by today lah..

My grandma suddenly asked about YeeWan.
She only came for dinner once for Chinese New Year, and suddenly she brought up her name.
And she mentioned that she's a pretty girl, very good and respect the elderly.
And asked how's she doing.

And tiba-tiba my grandfather asked whether I have healed or not.

Hmmmmm....is this a mooncake festival joke or what?

Think the night pass by rather slowly compared to the day.
It's one of those nights when I would drown myself with sorrow and pain.

Everynight I asked myself the same question.
"Why?"

So difficult to be an adult.
Will I be carrying this same sadness for a very long time?

Sometimes in the midst of being with laughters, I zoomed out to feed my emotions.
Today Xiyi asked me, "Ok already ah? Like happy jor.."

All I can say, "I wished I was."

Not in the mood for chatting tonight, just wanna sit on my bed, and hide underneath my pillow. Suddenly can feel my wobbly legs.

Think the night pass by rather slowly compared to the day.
It's one of those nights when I would drown myself with sorrow and pain.

Everynight I asked myself the same question.
"Why?"

So difficult to be an adult.
Will I be carrying this same sadness for a very long time?

Sometimes in the midst of being with laughters, I zoomed out to feed my emotions.
Today Xiyi asked me, "Ok already ah? Like happy jor.."

All I can say, "I wished I was."

Not in the mood for chatting tonight, just wanna sit on my bed, and hide underneath my pillow. Suddenly can feel my wobbly legs.

"這種感覺太親厚 講一千句也不夠
假使講了你聽到後 或會走"

-- Call me silly, but I have the sudden urge to take the next flight to come see you.

p/s: I burned my middle finger today, drenched with hot boiling soup. Ouch!

woke up with a swollen eye this morning..

It's those nights I forced myself to sleep, to fill in the free time I have.
This semester is one of the most easy-no frills semester of all time, considering I only have 17 credit hours, which 3 credit hours goes to ETP, means no lecture/assignments/tutorials. So, I'm left with 14 credit hours, with one of the courses I took is Malaysian Studies, which also means skipping lectures at times..So, I'm left with actually 11 credit hours.

Plus I didn't participate in any events/clubs/societies this semester.
So, yes, if I'm dating someone this semester, I'd probably have loads of time for him/her this time around.
Hehhe..

I still remember, back then, when I was coping with 21 credit hours, and I was in charged with EDX and Rotaract, and I had to attend meetings every night. I swore I was going to kill myself anytime then! But now, when I am so free, I am not into any of this extra curricular stuffs anymore..Hmmm..

I only have to attend 3 days of class per week, and the busiest day would be Thursday, with 6 hours of class. So you can probably guess that sometimes, on Tuesday, I only attend a 2-hour class and that's it! And now, I have Wednesdays and Fridays off. How lucky can I be?

So much time this semester, not sure whether it's lucky for me, so that I have more time to think of nonsense,  or more time to do some meditation and self-recollection..??
Well, these ample time, is enough to kill me really. So much time to think of nonsense..lol..

Mum called me earlier, asking me to go home to settle some stuffs. Have been going back Ipoh pretty often, almost every weekend. However this time she added that she boiled soup so asked me to go back and suin bin drink lah..but because I was feeling abit unwell, and the issues asked to be settled can be put off for a moment, told her not to worry, ensured her I will be back on Thursday lah..

So sad lah..sit in front of the computer, with nothing better to do, but stare at the monitor aimlessly. Sigh..I wished lah..I wished the situation would be better lah..soon..

Been looping this song since CheeFai send to me..--> 爱在记忆中找你 by Lam Fung..
Direct translation would be : Love in your memories find you. Lol.!
Sei CheeFai, made me cry..sigh!

Last weekend, I drowned myself with Blended Latte Mint.



Saturday night was spend with Mel, Foo and JiangMun, since Foo and JiangMun are flying off soon.
The thing is, everytime I chat with people from UTP, the usual conversation topics would be just normal, bitching, gossiping, and SOMETIMES, certain intellectual stuffs..
but with these 2 lawyers-in-the-making, we were expected to do "case-studies", and everytime they ask me about certain certain issues, I have to tune my wavelength again.



I love Foo's shirt..see how Bart resemblances her???


BON VOYAGE lah the 2 of you!

p/s: I will try not to be too technical the next time we hang out..lol!

For some reasons, today is a public holiday for UTP, but it doesn't really affect me because my Wednesdays are off anyway. However, many of them were out to Ipoh, since I observed that the campus was abit quiet for a weekday. I spend my morning surfing the net, trying to read about some issues, and completing the 3rd episode of Gossip Girl. Then SanNien and I went to Tronoh for breakfast and came back to the room, to continue my sleep and then do abit of reading.

(Yes, I do read..!)

In the late evening, I went for badminton with SanNien, (PeiChie was part of the plan also but she didn't turn up!) so in the end, both SanNien and I had to play with the guys, her batch. Ok lah, consider I wasn't feeling well, but SanNien said I takde gaya pemain professional wor..(Memang sial budak tu!)
Dinner was with Kevin, PeiChie, and SanNien, which we spend most of the time, kutuking one another. Well, I kena the most lah in a way, since I was the ONLY junior there. But it's alright lah..they are gonna miss me when I'm gone for INTERNSHIP next semester..hehehe!..

So, that was how I spend my holiday, being cooped up in UTP, not doing anything progressive. I wanted to read a little about Malaysian Studies but the test is being postponed, so there's no point studying for it now. It's too early!!

Anyway, for some reasons I should state here. People ought to stop harassing/forcing me to do things which I don't want to. And when I've said "No..", it really simply means "No..". And I am not really a person who says "No" because everytime people come to me and ask for favours, I usually try to fulfil them with no questions asked. But sometimes, some requests are just too crazy, and to me, it somehow crosses my line of respect, that I really don't know how to reject in a polite manner.

For example, most of my friends have been keen to see me don a skirt, especially the times when we go out, but most of the time, either I will say "No." or sometimes, when they don't seem to understand the meaning of "No.", I will in turn say "Next time lah, next time lah..", hoping that the next time never really comes.

But the next time always comes. And everytime the same question will pop again, asking me to wear a skirt. It's up to a certain stage that I'd rather turn down the offer to go out with them because I'm running of excuses to give them. I just kept saying "No." but they don't seem to understand that it takes me alot of effort to say "No." yet my friends keep forcing and forcing and forcing, that sometimes I just want to distant myself from everyone!

So, I'm just gonna say this for once.
If I don't want to wear a skirt, it doesn't make me a lesser girl! It's just means I don't want to wear one.
I am just not comfortable wearing one, and so what if you all wanna wear bikinis, birthday suits to places, but can't I at least have the freedom to wear anything I choose to?

At home, my mum bugs me to wear skirts, and I thought coming to UTP for 5 days, means escaping from all these mental tormenting, but I was wrong. I was damn wrong! At the moment, I just don't know what I can do to make people understand that I'm just not comfortable in a skirt..
Give me some time to grow up at my own pace.. please!

If you all don't understand the hell I'm going through, please, at least, stop forcing me to do something which I'm CLEARLY not happy with. If I can be a good friend to you guys, please, at least, stand at my side and try to see where I'm heading to.

p/s: It sucks to be a people-pleaser. It makes me feel bad if I make people feel bad. It really sucks. 

Today's one of those days I didn't feel like speaking or talking to anyone.

Ok, okay..you can now close that wide-open mouth of yours.
............................
I have days which I don't fancy talking too, alright..? I can be the class-joker, the class-clown, but yes, I can't always be happy all the time right? I have those days when I would choose to be quiet, and be serious about my studies too..

Ok, you can now pick yourself up from the ground!!

Heck! I do study too okay, just not as hard as most of the people whom I know, but I get bored of fooling around all the time too..

So anyway, like I was saying, today I didn't talk to any of my coursemates at all. Well, I doubt any of them would notice that I was quiet, since no one asked me anything..but well, that was way better, since I wasn't in the mood for talking anyway.

My lecture for steel got cancelled, so I got the evening off. I then went for badminton (yes, again!) with Harpreet, SanNien and SuetYeng. I doubt my ketagihan for badminton is back, but SuetYeng did comment that I was "ketagihan" because it was just yesterday I went for badminton. Well, I needed to whack some balls, to release all the negative energy in me. It didn't really help because as soon as I stepped into the badminton court, I didn't feel like playing after that. Heck, mood swings man!!

After the game, we went to the Ramadhan Bazaar to get "Air Kelapa". Man, I tell you, give me a bottle of Heineken, and a glass of Air Kelapa, I can tell you that I'd choose the latter anytime. Air Kelapa wins hands down! No doubt about that!! Imagine craving for Air Kelapa while playing badminton, it really dampened my spirit to play and even made me wanted to end the game as soon as possible to get to the bazaar.
The rest bought their dinner there, whereas I bought some satay to be shared with Ariff and HuiChing during dinner later.

I quickly returned to my room, got ready and then drove out again to meet up with Ariff and Huiching for "Buka Puasa" dinner at a nearby Malay restaurant. The wait for the food was not too long and stressful because we had satay while waiting for our orders. Nevertheless, it was a good session of catching up and some stress-relieving conversations. I don't understand but I was never comfortable talking about my past to anyone, not even my parents, but with the 2 of them, I felt that not only the two of them understood the hell I'm going through and the issues I have to deal with, but at the end of our conversation, they made me feel better instead. Unlike the others whom I usually talk to about my painful pasts, it only made me even more emotional and nostalgic. Dinner was good lah, the usual.

I drove back after that, and parked my car. I shut down my engine, but left my aircond and stereo running. As I listened to the songs blasting, I leaned backwards while enjoying the short moment of peace I find in the small car of mine. The short moment of peace was just what I needed after all the hell I'm going through at the moment. I find myself being behind wheels so often that I find myself always on the go, especially during the weekends. This semester has been a hectic semester for me, especially I have to go back to Ipoh, almost every weekend. Sometimes I feel really frustrated for having to go through all these at this young age of mine. Sometimes I wished I didn't have to deal with all the issues alone. I am only twenty-one, gosh! I need a break..!!!!

Return me my senses. Return me my time. Return me my health. Return me, myself.

It's the weekend again, which means I have to go home for the weekly checkup. I hate all this!! I hate this weekly routine..

I know, I know, I'm supposed to be tired after the long day, and ought to have drop dead on the bed..

BUT..
(there's always a 'but', no?)

I stayed out till 3 am, before coming back and now typing this entry.

Life is sure a roller coaster eh, with a day of emotional turmoil and the next, you resume back to your old self.
Must be the hormones.

So anyway, I got back to my room not too long when Zimian pm-ed me on Gtalk, asking me weird questions, before pursuing into the main topic. He wanted to ask me out for supper, on behalf of TeeHooi, but his pembuka was so long, and I asked him to just jump straight to the point.

Story cut short, the 6 of us were in v5, at about 12.30am for sahur.
Yes, no kidding. Our sahur time is exactly like our mamak's time.

We wanted to try the new MAMAK stall in the cafe, and the legendary MEE/MAGGI GORENG. Apparently very good recommendations from several people. So, the 6 of us were there, having a long Sahur conversation, while enjoying a hot piping plate of MAGGI/MEE GORENG.

Yes, we were also discussing about our BIG PLANS.
Hehhe.

Well, we often see one another in class, but that's not enough. There's always more to talk about, it's a neverending chatting/gossiping session, all the time. And that's good, really.

It's about time we really bonded, since it took us about 3 years to come this close.

Sometimes I wonder where have I gone wrong.

I remember, when she left to Australia, she send me an email with alot of chinese characters (which I don't even know how to read..hehe), and asked me to read. Well, she was quite helpful in a way, that she can help me with the chinese chinese readings and stuffs, so I asked her to read it out loud for me instead. I forgot the whole entry but what I remembered clearly was that she said,

"We can never be together with the person we love most."

True as they've said. The relationship ended after 2 sweet years. Until now, I've never regretted the things I have forgo, I've never regretted the person I was moulded to be now.

And sometimes, whenever the flash backs happen, you would still make me smile. And for that, I knew, why I was so sad when you had to make that decision 3 years ago. 3 years after, you still make me smile nevertheless.

So, to me, it's not about owning the person in person, and that's what you call love. Sometimes, love means sacrificing yourself for the happiness of the person you love.

And what makes it better? The other person might be having his/her time of his/her life, but you know, that he/she may not be the person who he/she loves most. 
 

So, people out there, if you are feeling what I'm feeling, today, my heart's broken. But I'm gonna be strong.

Because no matter how far you are, I'm right at where we started.

Meet my date on a Saturday night..





p/s: Waiting for the coming Raya break!

Thought it was just gonna be another weekend of running errands, weekly checkups, dealing with issues, but I got a text message from Joshua Ng, reminding me about the Rotaract Installation dinner on Saturday night. I was relunctant at first, since I was feeling slightly lethargic after the medications and all, but because it was also the last Rotaract event before my term is officially over, so I quickly texted Raveen..

asking him whether he's going or not.

Khian: Eh, Raveen, you going dinner or not tonight?
Raveen: Yea lah..last event..u?
Khian: Hmm..don't feel like going..like alone like that..sigh..
Raveen: Ala, I'm going also mah..
Khian: So, oklah, you become my date lah..
Raveen: Wrong..u be my date..c u tonight!

Hahha, he really made my day..
So I quickly texted Joshua saying that I'm going coz I wanna give face to my lengchai president..lol! Then I texted Punchee to pack my things and pass to YokeMun to bring it down to Ipoh for me.

That night, I walked into ICCC, paid RM38 and sat with a bunch of seniors and juniors. The dinner was in a buffet style lah basically.

Standing so kekokly...lol!

We had the usual formality, giving toasts to who-who-who, then had dinner, and the part where we were supposed to cry after receiving our certificates from Joshua Ng, our current Immediate Past President.


vice president: Elangesh

Elangesh's girlfriend  Secretary 1: Shamini Sridaran

Treasurer: Me!

We didn't have the full board this time, since there were a couple of final year students in our committee who already graduated, a couple of them who are currently doing their internship, and some who just not bothered coming lah. Well, to have to pay RM38 to attend such formal functions worr..it's difficult, really.
But since I was in Ipoh, and after missing so many of their activities, I felt right to be present for this last formal event.

The crowd.

I entered the small hall to see many unfamiliar faces,mostly juniors. The seniors were not there. Gone were the days when every member would know one another..sigh! I need to keep up with the juniors who keep coming in every semester!

1/3 of Rotaract Board 07/08.

After that, it was the installation of the new board..but why would you guys be interested in all those right?
I bet you would wanna see me lah right??

So, this is....

Chester and I..

Aaron and I..

Marvin and I.

HunPin and I..

The dinner ended about 11pm. One last picture before we left ICCC..

My date, me and Joshua.

One good thing about being in Rotaract Club, we are not really that decent as you see.. The formal part aside, we are the most chilling people, especially our past president..lol!!

So, we took off our ties and joined Joshua's friends in Sincero..
Raveen had to go home since he's staying in Batu Gajah, so we bid farewell to one another.. I thanked him for the great company, and he was such a darling to accompany me that night..

Apparently, Joshua's friend was celebrating her birthday that night, as I was pretty much alone, so I tagged along with him..and a few other seniors lah..

3 gorgeous ladies..familiar faces of Sincero? haha..

Pictures are pretty scarce since it was even difficult to stand as the crowd was packed that night. I bumped into Benny and Sam there too..haha

Sam and I.(Now, don't come up with jokes that we look alike!!)

Joshua and I.


Didn't enjoy much in Sincero, coz it was too cramped up. So, we left to RumJungle to join the other Rotaractors and UTPians at 1.
Boy! I made a mistake earlier saying that I didn't want to go RumJungle, because as soon as I got there, I was already high by the music!

Half of the crowd!

Oh man..for once, I think RUmJungle was nice!!

I went in and found Lenis sitting there alone..so I joined him.. After a sip of whisky, I "forced" him to the dance floor, and there we were, all of the UTPians, booogie-d. haha..I saw Melissa (finally, we were in the same club together) and, wow, words are just doing the injustice of explaining the night. Really.

And to think I was going to have a miserable night, alone. Hahha, little did I know how things can be really fun, when you really learn to let go, and just enjoy the course!

Lenis and I

With the DJ shouting "UTP, make soooommmeee noiiiissseee!!" and I swear, we can actually hear the echo outside..lol!!
Well, I'm not going to come up with a lame post about how RumJungle Rocks or something, to me, it's just another experience of clubbing alone. I have never actually hang out with the meche group, but that night, it was as if we were blinded with alcohol and loud music. I guess it's really true. Music (and booze) brings people together!

Ian, Khian and William covered with sweat!!

Thanks to everyone for the company..haha..would love to write about what happened, but my policy, WHAT HAPPENS IN THE CLUB, STAYS IN THE CLUB!!
(i hope no one took any video recordings lah that night..hehehehe!)

At about 2am, I had to leave the place or else I would have to stay out from my house. lol!
Didn't want to leave the place so early, but..haha..
I miss clubbing lah! I keep telling everyone it's like going home for me..

The treasurer, the secretary, and the secretary's boyfriend. Lol!!

Shamini said she misses me wor!!

That's how I spend my weekend. Seriously, no regrets!

And thank goodness, I have no regrets in joining Rotaract Club, ever!

LOOK OUT, SOUTHERNS!!

uncle da-jhua

noiseemunkee

notti-zimian

jeeee-seee-eeyyyy

dai-ka-jie

cute lil' khian

BAGS, CHECK!
SHOES, CHECK!
WALLET, CHECK!
BRAS, CHECK!
MONEY, CHECK!
SLEEPING BAG, CHECK!
GLASSES, CHECK!
CAMERA, CHECK!
iPOD, CHECK!
PASSPORT, CHECK!
HEART, CHECK!
SPIRIT, CHECK!
ROTAN, CHECK!
ROTAN TEBAL, CHECK!

Come Thursday, we are leaving the country..!!

p/s: It's so OBVIOUS that I'm not in the mood for WASTEWATER paper tomorrow!

pp/s: In case you wonder why we need to bring rotan, well, you did notice we have uncle dajhua, noiseemunkee and notti-zimian with us right? That practically explains everything..

I'm mugging for tomorrow's Wastewater Engineering test. It's just another paper to me, but because almost everyone in my Gtalk list have status which can give UNSEEN pressure, I am also stuck in front of my computer, mugging.

Most of the faculties are already on holiday. Their status kinda show it all! Like "Yeah, it's BREAK!" or something like that. To me, it's just a 10-day break. No big deal. Honestly, this semester, it was pure fun! (and abit of working done!), thus, this 10-day holiday is just a mere escape route, before coming back to FINALS and my LAB REPORTS.

Today, what caught my attention was when my lecturer suddenly exclaimed,
"PEOPLE WILL TEND TO LEARN WHEN THEY FALL, AND THEY MAKE A MISTAKE. LIFE CAN NEVER BE SMOOTH-SAILING, SO IN ORDER TO MAKE YOU REMEMBER, YOU NEED TO MAKE MISTAKES, AND HOPEFULLY NEVER REPEAT THEM."

Well, life has not been smooth sailing for me. I've fell plenty of times, most of the time, I learned not to step into the same hole again, but at times, I fell, cried, picked myself up, and fell right into the same old pit again. Plus, someone up there, has diagnosed me with something, which requires weekly attention. And that sucks. I'm too young for all these.

But I will try to learn, really. And hopefully not repeat the mistakes.

Damn, wrong time to be emo tonight.

Thursday, campus is almost as good as dead. Most of them are already packing their bags; some are heading home, some are heading to a quiet place for a long break, some..,might just be staying put.
I just came back to UTP this morning. Many wondered where I was last night, but as usual, I'm gonna write about it, but ah, not now, not today.

Crystal 'booked' my time a month ago, asking me to come home to celebrate a friend's birthday.
No harm knowing a new group of friends, so I headed down last night.
Have yet to gather ALL the pictures, so the whole ordeal has to wait to be told.

Khian and Crystal.

The birthday girl was "Ah Yan", a former MC girl, but she kinda reminds me of Khuan Yi, of AMC. Lol! I miss Khuan Yi all of a sudden. Her actions, her words, her attitude, exactly like KhuanYi..haha! Thinking of KhuanYi, reminds me of Yeewan..haha..Good Ol' days eh..

On the far left, the birthday girl.

I was pretty quiet the whole night, perhaps dealing with my inner self. Even clubbing didn't seem that fun anymore.
But that story would have to wait.

"You come first. I introduce leng lui to you...You come first!"

Reached already.
"Leng lui leh?? where??"

=.="

Adoi, heng dai, you don't know my standard meh? lol!!

p/s: At least I had one last glimpse of you before the holiday starts. That was what I hoped for this morning, as soon as I woke up on a stranger's bed.

pp/s: The blood stream is clean. But constant check up, and no alcohol. At least not in these couple of months.

I remember, the first time I met with a failure, I had people around me who were worried. It was the first time, my hopes were crushed; my dreams were wiped out. No one knew what was wrong, but they could only see the impact done. No one knew that beneath the smiles I have, they were just a show I put on.

I will always remember what Yiling told me during my 3rd fall,
"Khian, don't you ever learn from the first?"

Each time I fall back into the darkness, I will always remember her words. Telling me to learn from the ugly past. That it's not worth drowning myself in all the sadness.

I have to learn to be strong.

Mel posted this picture in Facebook.

OMFG.

Khian:  omfg. mel! why do u have to put this picture? i look so tanned and hideous!

This was, I think, taken when I came back from NS. And so happened that Yiling was back to visit. And, it so happened that then, people were still around in this small little town.

But now, these people are away now. Most of them are not even in Malaysia. Some, will be flying off pretty soon.

Big plans are being made by these people. Me, of all people, should not be lingering in the darkness. I should be making my own big plans instead!

Gosh, tanned skin me-looking horrijible!!

Mel: Khian, Hmm, reason i put this picture up is because a lot of people is in the picture ma! If you don't like your actual self, do you want me to photoshop it? What colour skin you want?

But I like the you back then. You weren't so... sad all the time!

Singapore's famous for its certain industry..but we shall get to that, some time later.

Today's all about this.

'Kuey Chap'

If not translated properly, it's known as "Assorted Duck Pieces" (name created on my own!).

Little bits of duck meat, duck intestines, tauhu, and egg.

Preserved sweet salty vege. This is a side order.

And lastly,

Something like noodles, but it's like a big piece of wantan skin, but no fillings..Can understand mou?

Seeing these pictures makes me drool over and over again..

There's a reason why people kept going back..

And today, barely 24 hours at home, I'm on the go again! Meet me in Genting people! I'm there, for a reason.

"If there's one reason for me to wait, the reason would be You."