If I may ask, how was your 1st day at work?

First, my alarm didn't set off. Why? Because I forgot to switch my profile back to 'NORMAL' and since it was in 'SILENT' mode, it did not ring at all. Close call, because it so happened that I decided to check the time and I found myself 15 minutes late from the actual time I planned to wake up.
Quickly get myself ready, down 2 slices of bread, and off I walked all the way to the nearest train station. It was 7.45a.m., and the train still didn't show any sign of its arrival, I begun to panic. First day of work, and heck! I don't want to be late.

The train came, and I was on my way. 30 minutes later, I arrived to the place I have to be, and I was 20 minutes early. So I decided to explore the building a bit, to find there's a canteen on the 5th floor. So, pandai-pandai, I went in, got myself a piece of roti canai (what happened to my crash diet?) and a glass of Nescafe Ais, which I was pretty sure I was going to need the caffeinne later during the day.5 minutes before work starts, I left the canteen and begun to wait for the elevator. 3 minutes later, still no sign of the elevator coming. Begun to panic again.

1 minute later, it came, and it was packed. I was contemplating whether to squish inside or not, but sardine-or no sardine, I was not going to appear in front of my office late, on the first day. So, I flashed my signature grin, and prayed that none of them would kicked me out from the lift. Thank goodness, no one did. (Men mar..)
8.45a.m., I arrived in front of the office, on the dot!

An engineer let me in while he was on his way into the office, and I was asked to sit and wait for the HR and the director to come back. 9.15, no sign of director, no sign of the HR. Hrmmmm....
The HR came 5 minutes later, and led me to my own cubicle. Beside me, was an engineer. Good, a good looking Lady Engineer.

I got the attention of everyone. Including the draftpersons.
Everyone 'pretended' to approach the Engineer beside me, and asked stupid random questions, but I always managed to hear, "Eh, who's that ah? What's her name?"

*blushed*

Can't tell you much about the company. Against the code of ethics.
But rest assured, I am beginning to find my place in an Engineering company. This one, to be exact. Especially the adrenaline rush, when the whole company is rushing to complete one massive project, and I was there, in the middle of everything, and I was not doing anything.

First day of work, nothing much to do, except for some data-entrying.
Well, haven't even meet the director, not even assigned to a supervisor yet. Today, I sat there, 3 quarter of the time, reading 'Twilight', online on GTALK, and texting other interns. Simply nothing much to do, and I was kinda afraid that the senior engineer would give me something to calculate.
Heck, I don't want the building in Abu Dhabi to collapse!

Today's work: BORING.
Can't wait for tomorrow anyway. The enthusiasm is still there.
Hopefully there's work tomorrow.

Oh yeah, I had lunch with my colleagues today. Good! I thought I was gonna be a lone ranger, but it turned out that they are pretty friendly.
All engineers oooo....

*CEO hunting season, begins!* 

Day and Night I face the computer screen.
I'm going blind soon.
Working life? You think it's fun?
Well, urm, it could be.

p/s: The only consolation for today, is having dinner with ShiouTing and TeeHooi in KLCC's food court. Good to know that even though we are far apart, we still had dinner together. Aaarrgghh!

pp/s: Resignation letter tomorrow.

"Eh Xiao Jie (this is what my SV calls me), there're 2 rules in this office.
First, cannot chat during office hours, and Second, don't call me Mr. *Jason, just Jason, enough"

Uh-oh.

"Bbb--bbuutt, in the morning, I wanna check my email can ah? Morning nothing to do also.."

He smiled, and nodded.
Phew! So, no more GTALK during office hours.

3rd day, and I've faced the computer screen for more than 12 hours. Worst than any IT students.

Received a memo today.
'To fly to Abu Dhabi next Tuesday.'

=.="

You can never believe the joy I have, to know that I'm heading home tomorrow.
For the first time, I can actually truly understand why people can be so excited about going home. Because, as I'm typing now, I can really feel the same joy and excitement. Come tomorrow, (having my fingers crossed), hoping that I don't have to do OT, and if luck persists, I shall reach home before 12am tomorrow.

One of the reasons is, I can no longer stand the long hours of being awake!
Imagine waking up at 6.30am, then reaching home at 8.00pm.
That's 14 hours straight, with no break in between. My sleeping hour has changed tremendously, climbing into bed at 10pm, and waking up at 6.30am. That's 8 hours, gosh, have never been so deprieved of sleep in my life!

Enough of ranting, really. I'm so tired, and it's almost my bed time. I really need to sleep, and I can't stand the sight of computer screens anymore. I think I delevoped some sort of phobia already.

Working life sucks! 32 weeks for Internship is too long.
Internships are there, either they expose you to working life, hoping that you like what you're doing, or they make you hate working for the rest of your life, and wish you would drag your sorry ass back to schooling forever.
Well, suddenly, doing a PHD is not a bad idea afterall.

By the way, this morning, I bumped into Jeslin on the train. Of all people.
We exchanged a few words of "How are you doing?", "Are things good?" and you know the usual, and she got off much earlier than myself.
Bah, and I gotta know KeeHui and Tzeyang were in KLCC for lunch, with  a whole group of people. And my own coursemate didn't even bother to text me. You jaga, Keehui!
Ah, my social life is ruined. All because of 32 weeks.
Tomorrow, and it's 31 weeks left. Blah!

Sheateng's GTALK status: "Don't ever give up someone or something that you can't go the full day without thinking about."

True. For the past few months, I've only been thinking about ONE person. Everytime I wake up, I thought about 'it'. Everytime before I sleep, I thought about 'it'. In the midst of doing work, I thought about 'it'. In the midst of having fun, I thought about 'it'. Only God knows when I stop thinking about 'it', simply because I have no idea when. There were a couple of times I dreamt about 'it' too. Yeah, full day? Yeah, that's it.

But sometimes, there are things you have to choose to let go or give up. If you know if it makes 'it' happier, then you have to give up. Even though it's tearing you apart from the inside. It's not as easy as going back, taking what you want, because in the end, 'it's' not gonna be happy with you.

That's what I've to say. I'm doing this, because I miss 'it'. A lot. But I have to suck it up. This is probably for the best. Let it be, me tearing myself apart.  

Good news on the 5th day of work: Mistaken for a Senior Engineer.
Bad news on the 5th day of work: Unable to fly to Abu Dhabi.

Yeah, the good news. It was a more of a confidence booster.
I was sitting at the side of the office, when a client walked in, with a stern looking 'thug' (which I assumed to be the body guard). The client looked at me, while I tried looking 'invisible' because I was a nobody, and I don't want to be bothered. Not when I was with my 'Twilight' book.
However, when I looked up, I saw the client looking at me, and then flashed me a smile. So, in order not to appear rude, I returned the smile, and I stood up and walked towards him. I said, "Morning, can I help you?"

And he shook my hand. I had to.

"You are?"

"I'm Ms. Tang."

"Oh, I'm from so and so company, looking for Dr.Kong. So, you are the one of the Senior Engineers is it?"

"Errrr...no..I'm, err..just an Intern."

"Owh. You look much mature to be one."

*Awkward moment*

This is how I looked, on a Friday! Geee..Fridays have never been so exciting!

And so, it turned out that my company is involved with another mega project. Can't disclose here though, and because of that, I, being a small potato aka intern, was pushed to this new project. So, instead of flying to AbuDhabi, I am, err..going somewhere else.
Or maybe, just staying put in the office. I wouldn't know. Plans change so quickly. Day by day. I'm feeling like a ball, kicked here and there. :|

Err, worst news of the day: Looking like a senior engineer. Damn! Got so old not??

"I woke up this morning
Feeling alright
I've been fightin' for tomorrow
All my life
Yea, I woke up this morning
Feeling brand new
Cause the dreams that I've been dreaming
Have finally came true"
-It's a New Day, Will.i.am, written for Barrack Obama.

You should check out the whole lyrics. Very inspiring.

I have yet to write about what happened last night, will do when the pictures have been send over.
Let's just say, Old is Gold, shall we?

Sucks that today's a Sunday. Why? Tomorrow's a Monday, and I've gotta go to work on a Tuesday.

I had a weird dream last night.
I dreamt that all of us were in a pub. Imagine that. People like Pinky, ShiouTing, TeeHooi, HuiChing, Aiting, Carina, SheaTeng, Nony,  Assholes, Bitches, etc. I think most of the people whom I've crossed paths with, appeared in this dream of mine. All of us were in a bar/pub/club, or something.
And of course, I was there too.

And I saw, each and everyone of these people. Doing things. As individual. Which kinda highlighted to me, their real character. Hmm..For example, I remember seeing a certain individual hugging someone else who is not his other half. Cheating. I remember seeing a certain individual bragging about her other half. Show-off. I remember seeing a certain individual, dancing topless on the bar top. Extreme show-off.
And I also remember seeing a certain individual, sitting in a corner, sipping her scotch slowly, and observing the crowd. Loner. Emo. Oh wait, that was probably me.

Well, I absolutely have no idea why I had such a dream, and for some reasons, I remember this dream, until this very moment as I'm typing this entry. And it's already 12pm. Weird. I usually don't remember such petty nonsensical dreams. Well, urm, a sign?

*Disclaimer: Just because I didn't name everyone of you, doesn't mean you are listed under the categories of Assholes or Bitches. It's because there are just too many people in the bar, I can't possibly name everyone!

2 days just ain't enough.

Mojito

Over the weekend I have been sleeping at 2 in the morning, and waking up at 10 the next.

Like what my mum said, I can't seem to sit still at home. I would be jumping around, off to anywhere upon texts or phone calls, and if I don't get any, I would be the one initiating all the meet-ups instead.

On Saturday evening, I drove my parents and my grandfather to Pantai Remis for the famous TeoChew seafood. Pantai Remis is about an hour journey away, and the roads are difficult to drive, especially when it's raining heavily. For the first time, I passed by UTP to see how it is still standing, even after leaving it for 3 weeks. Lol!
No food review, totally engrossed in gobbling and finishing up.
However, the food place was infested with house flies, yet people are still seen seated, waiting for the food. Which kinda explains alot about the food, huh?

Then rushed back to meet up with Crystal for a club-night-out. Only the 2 of us. The rests were either busy, or busy lah..haha..Not everyone is a clubbing-kaki, you know? So, in Ipoh, it was down to 2 of us. And then I thought of another kaki of mine, so I called her to come along too..
In the end, only the 3 of us were there.

Crystal, Yoke Yee and Khian.

Yoke Yee was there with her boyfriend lah of course!
Initially we wanted to go to Sincero (the usual!) but seeing that the crowd is so little there, we then went to meet up with YokeYee in Barbeza instead. It was my first visit, and honestly, apart from the fact that the beer served is selling cheap, I find no reason to go back. The music was horrible. The crowd consists mostly of late thirties, and ang mohs.
Uurrgghhh!

The night was a short one. Just enough to update one another. I had to leave early, since I had no car, and parents were worried. Ipoh's no longer safe. Car-break-ins, car being tolled away, robbed by Mat Rempits..Ipoh, is no longer safe anymore..

Yoke Yee and I

Crystal and I

It's amazing that even though when we were busy with our own work, we never bothered keeping in touch, but whenever we come home, we try to update one another. That's what friends should do.

Psst... come to think about it, the 3 of us were never in the same class, ever. Not at all!
But look how we ended up now? Great!!

Peer into the world of Tiger Beer. [playing around with Yoke Yee's newly bought Lumix!]

i (dot) hate (dot) going (dot) to (dot) work! (dot com)

My backache is back. I need painkillers. Farking in pain.
And on a weekday. Fark fark fark!

I thought it was going to be another boring Wednesday in the office, when an intermediate Engineer called out to me, around 9.

Engineer: Eh, Ms. Tang..Come..
Me: Woi..call me AngKhian only lah..
Engineer: Hehhe..Oklah, eh, you wanna go site mou?
Me: Huh? Can meh..*SV allow meh? I follow one boss only..
Engineer: Can one..You later, pretend-pretend, then just go out lah..He won't realize one..
Me: Sei lah..don't teach me wrong thing..Can graduate or not..see this intern one...
Engineer: Aiya, don't worry, I will talk to *SV lah..
Me: Hai mou?? Ok lah..can can can...
Engineer: *shakes head*

So, upon getting agreement..and the *SV saying: "Wei, the 2 of you..go site go site, don't go elsewhere.!!",
we left the office at 9.15a.m. I had no idea where the site was, and I dare not ask. Fear that later the engineer say I ask alot of questions, and ask me to go back to the office. So I sat quietly, staring at my RC notes, and just enjoyed the ride.

I thought the site was probably near KLCC area, since I know one of the projects we are handling is around that area. So, oklah..can stop by for lunch..hehe..and then, and then, I was exiting DUTA TOLL!

Uh-oh..

Me: Wei, where we going wor?? Say visit site..
Engineer: Yalah, going lah..
Me: Wei..go where? Ipoh ah? Send me home ah?
Engineer: No lah..going Penang..
Me: WHAT?? Eat laksa ah?
Engineer: Serious lah..go to *********, see the site.
Me: .......*_*


So, the 2 of us, in his Ford Ranger, all the way up North.

First Site-Visit..yay!

On the way back,

Me: Wei, log book how to write ah..sigh, haven't start..
Engineer: Write lah..the softwares you used..what you did..
Me: Err..this site visit, don't want to write can?
Engineer: Write lah..let your UTP lecturer know where you went..what you did..
Me: Troublesome leh..takkan write about how many times we yumcha..we went Queensbay..we stopped by nga choi kai..we didn't go back office...
Engineer: Up to you lah..don't write about Queensbay..don't write about nga choi kai..or else I cannot claim.
Me:...hehehe...

and if you are wondering why we were talking like me talking with my coursemates...hehe, the engineer is very young one..lol..

You know it's not your day when....

Born To Make You Happy-Britney Spears

I'm sitting here alone up in my room
And thinking about the times that we've been through (oh my love)
I'm looking at a picture in my hand
Trying my best to understand
I really want to know what we did wrong
With a love that felt so strong
If only you were here tonight
I know that we could make it right

[CHORUS:]
I don't know how to live without your love
I was born to make you happy
'Cause you're the only one within my heart
I was born to make you happy
Always and forever you and me
That's the way our life should be
I don't know how to live without your love
I was born to make you happy

I know I've been a fool since you've been gone
I'd better give it up and carry on (oh my love)
'Cause living in a dream of you and me
Is not the way my life should be
I don't want to cry a tear for you
So forgive me if I do
If only you were here tonight
I know that we could make it right

[Repeat CHORUS]

I'd do anything, I'd give you my world
I'd wait forever, to be your girl
Just call out my name, and I will be there
Just to show you how much I care

[Repeat CHORUS]

you listen to a shitty song, yet it still made you cry.
And in the train too..

p/s: I miss you.

Fridays are supposed to be fun..! and yes, it certainly was..!

First, I had breakfast in Pudu Market, a very hidden place but with loads of goodies inside. You know what they say about hidden treasures eh?

I kick started the day with a glass of Teh Kao.

Creamy, and thick. Just the way it should be, and coming from a place in KL, that's news!

and the obligatory kaya+planta toasted bun..


The texture. Soft in the inside.

and it was my 2nd visit to this place for breakfast, and I see huge crowds everytime. Food must either be really cheap, or it must be really good.

There were 2 stalls selling drinks, but this one, has workers walking in-and-out nonstop. Business is blooming, despite the news of recession.

If you are wondering what's Hainan Tea, it's actually 'cham'- a mixture of coffee and tea.

and the last time I was there, I spend a mere RM4 for a bowl of ordinary fishball noodle soup. However, this time I opted to try the Fish Head Noodle.

and with the price paid, I bet no stall in KL could top that bowl of noodles.

(at least until I come across a better one-lah..)

Lip-smacking. And early in the morning too..hehehe..RM6 a bowl, where else can you get such good food?

Like I said, Fridays are supposed to be fun, and for lunch, guess what I had?

A meal which cost about RM80. How could I afford splurging, you ask?
Well, I didn't have to fork out a single cent.

Actually it's a routine we normally practise in my company, that every Friday, the colleagues would come out and have lunch together.And when you are together, you cannot eat the normal 'Economy Rice' like what you have from Monday to Thursday. You tend to spend the 2-hour lunch break you have, in some special place, like the fast food restaurant or somewhere abit more costly than your normal 'Economy Rice', right?
So today I was looking forward to a nice 2-hour lunch with my colleagues because that's the time we can actually interact with one another when one of my colleagues told me to get ready and be quick. I thought what was the rush, since we had 2 hours.

Little did I know that one of the company's client was in the office and she was going to treat us lunch. Imagine, 7 engineers and the client, walked all the way to Maju Junction mall, to have a superbly expensive Japanese meal. And what made it more interesting was, I didn't have to pay a single cent!

Lucky or what?

and there's no limit to what you can order. But of course, I was introduced as a trainee and I felt that it was impolite to order so expensive lah..Pretend pretend abit lah at least...



"Eh, Ms. Tang, you know you are very lucky you know? Come here 2 weeks already got free lunch.Hahha, stick longer lah..more of these to come.."

Hahha..for some reasons, I'm beginning to enjoy my work.

Appetizer.

Basically what I had for lunch, was not something which I would pay for myself. So, this is probably one of the luckiest moments of my life: To eat in a high-class Japanese Restaurant in KL.

What to do, living in KL means living with a tight budget. (Cannot tight belt, because the beer belly doesn't seem to want to leave..aarrgghh!!!)

So, instead of the lunch time with colleagues I pictured, that was also equally good because the client told us alot about her work, and also about the industry. Apparently, engineers(contractors) are most likely to smoke. Hmmmm...

Cawan Mushi.

Pictures are scarce and abit blur because I was embarassed to snap pictures, so I had to do it silently, and pretending to be on a very serious text conversation.

My colleagues' Tempura set which cost about RM45.

Food's not that amazing lah..but considering the fact it's free, anything goes!

and I ordered a Sashimi Set, which was the most expensive among all. Lol! What to do, Ipoh-lang, has exquisite taste in makan-ing. Blek!

Most of them were amazed to see me eating such raw fish meat. Well, not everyone like fresh, raw meat, but well, throw me a piece of chicken meat, and nah, you won't even get the bones back! Lol.

A hearty lunch, and all thanks to Ms. June.

I hope she comes by again, next Friday.

p/s: Beginning to enjoy work, with the mastering of a few softwares. Shall blog about that tomorrow, that's if I come home.

Last weekend, I went home solely for someone's 21st birthday.
It was a major event. There was news about catering lah..must confirm attendance lah..hmmm...whoa~

For some people, it is a big deal to be officially of the legal age. For some people, after being put in a shell for 21 years, to them, it's time to redeem freedom. Well, for some, it's time to actually get drunk recklessly, gamble their money in casinos, and gaining extra cash from lottery and other ways.
*Cough*, of course, there are a few people who are excluded from that range, like me. Hehhe.

For this guy, turning 21 when looking 40..hermmmmm..makes no difference..Lol!

I believe it is a traditional ritual to feed the birthday cake to the elders.

So, the last weekend, I spend it in Ipoh to celebrate this guy's 21st birthday. And I had to sacrifice my lips to give him a birthday kiss..*Rugi banyak-banyak!!*

Food was good. Indian food-lah. Basically the guys hentam banyak-banyak, especially Kyean. Like kebuluran for a few days then go replenish in Avinesh's party.

Hahha..

PooiYeng, Karmun, Crystal, TingYi and Cheng CHien.

They say hor..I should sit down, because I'm the oldest among them all. What the hell...

These were the only girls who attended the party. PhooiYee and MeiYenn came much later.
Too bad some of them didn't manage to turn up for the party. It was raining heavily then, and some got stuck inside because of the rising water level.



and this was the attendance that night.

Basically I had to arrange them one by one, and it was freaking difficult to control the guys' movements. Call berpuluh-puluh kali (and that's an understatement!) and they still refuse to budge from their seats outside the house. Susahnya..worst than UTP guys, infinity times.

The arrangement was, the girls are supposed to be on top of the couch, and the guys sit on the floor. And then, suddenly, the birthday boy asked me to sit on the floor right beside him. Sigh, *rugi-kali-kedua!!*

and come to candid shot, I was nearly suffocated by him. The wrong way.
Too bad I don't have that shot, it's with Crystal.

After the party (or rather before the party ended), the girls made some plans to get drinks elsewhere.
And then, for some reasons, the person who initiated it, wasn't able to make it.

We had one shot each. Which costed a bomb, and didn't give any kick at all.
So, the guys ordered a bucket of Tiger, and had another round of alcohol.

For some reasons, the guys whom I know, are prettier than myself. *diao*

After one whole day, all I want to do is, get myself drunk, kick back, and just get some sleep.
Whole story, tomorrow.
and I'm not supposed to post anymore pictures of the Civilians, because they are becoming smarter, demanding me for royalty money each time I use their pictures in my entries.
What the heck.
You think I put your faces in my blog I don't have to risk having to lose my readers meh?
Later they say they got trauma looking at your faces how?
How?? How?
Lol. Story entirely based on imagination.
Back to business, I'm tired. I'm coughing non-stop, which kinda sounds like a machine gun. I have blood coming out from extraordinary places. I'm feeling cold.
Yeshh....

I've never enjoyed a Sunday like this before.
Waking up early in the morning:8.35 to be exact.
Switching on my computer, started my downloading of The Simpsons Season 20.
Surf the net abit.
Got ready for my weekly groccery shopping with my new roommate.
Had lunch.
Came home, watched a couple episodes of 90210.
Catch a long nap.
Woke up, watched the remaining episodes of 90210 while having my dinner.
And here I am, writing a short entry before I officially call it a day, and get ready for work tomorrow. Blah!

So, I've officially became a boring person, who sleeps at 10 and wakes up at 7.

What amused me was what Joshua said last night at 11pm.
"Eh, what are you doing here tonight? And sleeping at 10?!! It's a Saturday night, and what are you doing here? Knowing you, you should be out there, somewhere!"

Well, times have changed uncle. Time has certainly changed!

To go out and hang out with friends, the CHEAPEST way to commute would be using the train. That's the easy idea. And the worst part of all is, having to walk all the way to the train station. Which takes about 10 minutes, from my doorstep. And it's not a flat surface. I would have to first take the elevator, walked down 2 flight of stairs, walk more, walk up a flight of stairs, walk more, walk down a flght of stairs, walk more, and I would then reached...

the guard house. The entrance/exit of my Condo.

And then more walking. And up a crossing bridge, walk more, and down the crossing bridge. Walk more, down 2 flights of stairs, and there, finally. (Even my fingers are getting sore typing all that!) I've FINALLY reached the station.

And that's only me, getting on the train. I bet you don't want me to go through the details of me having butt cramps waiting to arrive at the place I want to go to, and more walking.
So, you probably get the picture why at times, I just wished I didn't have to go to work.

I know, some of you must be thinking that I'm whinning too much. That that's just a little walking done, and I should be grateful..yada yadda yada..
but hey, this is coming from someone who used to only walking a couple of metres to class, since my hostel used to be so near to Block 14/Block 15 and the Pocket C. I didn't have classes furthur than those academic buildings, and even if I had, I probably skipped most of those classes anyway.
And I'm used to driving whenever I can. What to do. Pampered with a car. One which is petrol-saving.

So, now, it's karma. Now I would have to walk a "thousand" steps before reaching my working place, or to anywhere, and then do the same thing to come home.

However, it's entirely untrue that I would choose to lock myself away from social events. My wild side still fights to come out, unleash itself now. I'm 21, and I deserve to be out, behaving recklessly!
But I'm becoming wiser. I would only choose to go out to the crowd, on a Saturday, and resorting to have my private/personal time on a Sunday. That way, I would have rested enough to get to work on Monday.

Good idea eh?

And so, PC FAIR was urm..crowded? Totally an understatement! Despite the news about global recession, and how times are going to be bad, yet you still see people with their loaded wallets, either with cash, or with credit/debit cards. And if I was one of the loaded ones, I would have probably gone crazy with the slashed prices of the gadgets. Aaarrgghh!
I only managed to get what I wanted, (or was it something out of my impulsiveness?) and I couldn't stay longer than an hour because I could barely breathe inside. I nearly missed the exit and I was constantly being pushed here and there, harassed by loud speakers, and I didn't get any free gifts!

Manage to finally squeeze out from the crowd and arrive safely in KLCC for lunch at KFC with the civilians. KeeHui who, (again!!) came unannounced to KL, had to leave his original gang to come join us for lunch, and for an hour or more, we were updating ourselves about our work, workload, and other kind of personal issues.
And the next plans were quickly drawn out, even before the day ended.

"I hate the Christmas season, it reminds you how lonely you are."

So, ShiouTing had to bid us goodbye, leave for home (since she's unwell!), whereas the remaining 3 had to get on the train, and come back to my Condo, and get my car. And the 3 of us sped all the way to 1U, Damansara for a second round of shopping. Not much of shopping done though, since we were all getting tired and sleepy. A simple walk-around, dinner with Jiamin and by 9 something, both KeeHui and I had to head back to our respective homes.

A day, spend on buying myself a Golla Bag. Very impulsive shopping done. When I came home, I wondered, was it even necessary..
There goes the money I've been saving for something else...

2 more hours to a Monday morning. Gotta rest before I start to snap back at my Supervisor tomorrow. Oh wait, he's not going to be here. He's on business leave for, wait...wait..7 whole days! Yippee!!

Good luck to everyone who has to head to work tomorrow. God knows, I know how you feel now. The Monday blues.

p/s: I have yet to have plans for Christmas. ANyone who has a plan, kindly include me. I don't want to be the one organizing. Got tired of that.

Today as I was sitting in the train, I noticed that the Pusat Konvesyen CIDB is located in Sungai Besi.

What's CIDB, you asked?

It's this programme where we have to listen to Health, Safety and Precaution in Construction sites. The course took up the whole Saturday, and for UTP Civil Students, it was absolutely free. However, to us, it's important to obtain the green card coz we have to use it to enter construction sites. It acts as a license to enter sites.

Today's just another unproductive day when I'm stuck in front of the monitor, studying softwares, reading RC textbook, and busy texting random people.
Sigh, sometimes I feel like I'm just this random fella which has been chosen to fill in a void in the company.
And even though sometimes there's tonnes of work, but most of the time, I'm there, shaking legs, waiting for someone to call me to help them.
Ever since my SV has left to Abu Dhabi, I've been stuck at my workplace, *begging* people to notice me and give me real engineering tasks, instead of showing me ways to use the softwares.

I believe that most of them are afraid to issue me with tasks because I told them truthfully that I did not take Reinforced Concrete during my 3rd year. And with my performance for steel design last semester, which I think I already failed, it's no wonder why I have very low self esteem each day when I go to work. Whenever I hear/see/deal with structural stuffs, I tend to freak out, just like that day, when my SV asked me to draw a simple moment/shear diagram, giving me a simple supported beam. It's easy-peasy. Supposed to be, that was just the basics. The very core of statics. But I couldn't. For a split second, my brain froze and all I could say was, "Err, sir, I'm not sure leh..I have phobia.."

He must be devastated. The Rector must be thinking where to put his face. I, a 3rd year, soon to graduate Civil Engineer has no idea what diagram it should turn out to be? I think I must have put my ancestors to shame!

And as an intern, the tasks given to me, have to be double-checked by the intermediate engineers, to avoid any mistakes. And so, because of the double-work, some of them rather do the work themselves. Sigh.
Which is a point that I understand, because if I'm in their position, I would probably do the same.

The biggest downside is not taking RC last semester! What the heck was I thinking?
And because of that, I feel so hopeless in my current company. And going to work sucks more than ever.

p/s: Try having someone telling you that you look beyond average. Should that be a compliment?

I'm on MC today.
Totally couldn't walk down from the office.
Almost "died" of pain.
I was in tears.
First MC of my 'working life'.
T_T

I'm someone who would spend most of my money on food.
Give me an amount of money, would tell you 90% of it, would go to fine dining alone. Most of the people whom I know, would often say it's a waste of money to splurge on food when all eating is meant to make you full and live another day.
Well, coming from Ipoh, I would say otherwise.

Some may eat to live, but for me (or rather for my family), eating is a lifestyle. We live to eat.
So, you can probably guess where I inherited this eating habit from.

Most of the people whom I know, would often call me a "Spoil Brat" or something along that line.
Eating luxurious food, spending unnecessary money on food.
Well, some splurge on LV bags, Coach bags, drive big BMWs, those are unnecessary. Mine's food okay?

I'm not saying I'm absolutely right. Nor I'm absolutely wrong.

We have different perspective on living. The ways of living.
You don't tell me how to live mine, I won't dare to tell you guys how to live yours.

It's not like I'm spending your money to eat right?

It's not always about good, expensive food. Sometimes, a simple pancake with maple syrup is fine with me too. If it's good.

See?

If you've been reading, I eat alot. Ranging from Hawker stalls,kopitiams, fast food chains, hotel buffets, you name it, I've probably been there!
Not something worth bragging, but definitely something to be proud of.
Considering the amount of eating I've done, I'm still maintaining a good figure. (Even though not as thin or pretty as top models, but it's good lah, in one way.)

If you think I love eating, wait till you read her blog.
She just turned 21 today.

Oh wait, I totally forgot the point of me writing this entry.

I miss going for dinner/lunch buffets.

And what I miss even more?

Home-cooked meals.

Picture taken on the 1st December 2008, in Traders Hotel. The whole family was down in KL to check on me being in work for the first time. Yeah, yeah, I'm an overly-loved-pampered daughter..Jealous?

Barely 40 minutes touching down Ipoh, I was out from the house.

In less than an hour, I already had a glass of White Coffee and a glass of Iced Lime Juice. And mum called to remind me to drink the Ginseng Tea she had prepared earlier for me.
Great, 3 different kinds of drinks in my body system, if the ample trips to the toilet doesn't kill me, the diarrhea tomorrow would probably do.
Not that I'm complaining, in fact I feel so much comfortable back where I belong. Although 2 weeks away seems short to most of you guys, to me, that's 14 days of hell, away from home.

Didn't plan to come home initially, but now, I did not regret a single bit. Back, partially because of the Winter Solistice this Sunday. And also I know people are still around this small town. So, am back for planning of next week's Christmas party. Well, obviously working in KL as an intern doesn't change the fact of me being part of the organizing crew of hot parties.

Did I mention I was out from the house in less than 15 minutes, just in time to drop my stuffs, catch a QUICK shower and out to see someone's already waiting outside for me?

Have you had a high school crush before?

Well, I do. And that was probably one of the reasons why I became the person I am, today.
For 4 years, away from Malaysia, it was about time she came home after getting all her business done.

And for some reasons, you would know that there's a reason why you fell for a particular person in the first place. After not meeting for 4 years, you still make one another laugh, smile, cry. And that's not something you can do to anyone.
Sitting there, while she was yakking away (lol!), my thoughts started to drift away. My thoughts brought me back to 7 years ago, when I was still 14. Yeah, pretty young and guillable times. And how 'childish' I was back then. Simple minded would be a better term, I would say?
There were things we've done, that I am not proud of. But there were things which was not done, which made me wonder, what if. What if we have done it, how would it turn out today?

The 1-hour conversation, seem so short with her presence. Though what we talked about was petty, and most of the time,not important at all, yet it was good to hear her voice again, to see how she look again. I dare say, other than the numbers in her age, nothing much has changed. Except for the Australian slang she has adapted to. It's rather an achievement, I would say. For someone who didn't have a strong command in English back in high school, speaking to me in Cantonese most of the time, she has developed a strong command in English now, with a slight tinge of Australian accent.

I'm not going to disclose her name here. But most of you who knew me back in high school would probably know who I'm talking about. When I was 14, you'd probably notice the 2 of us sitting beside the longkang, wasting our Friday's recess time, not eating, just to catch a 20-minute conversation. Yeah, we used to have different recess time, since she was in the senior year, thus different recess time, except for lucky Friday!

Today I was pretty quiet. Probably in lost of words, because around her, it always seems that I'm 14 again.
And I would always remember the time she said, "To me, you are still the AngKhian I knew! You are still so much younger!"

Well, that was 7 years ago, dear. This AngKhian you know have already went through ups-and-downs, a little hardship along the way, and just turned 21. Legal age.

We had to head home early, but having to know that I would be seeing her again, kept me smiling up to my doorstep. For some reason, I felt that I was getting stronger inside. Maybe, her coming home this time, really could make me go stronger and get back to my path.

I couldn't stop thinking of her. So many things I've regretted not doing. So many things I've thought about. And I remember when I was 15, I actually cried because of her. Silly eh? But that's what happened when you are naive and young.

And now I can't sleep. Is it because of the glass of White coffee? Or maybe it's just her I can't stop thinking about?

" I feel so untouched
And I want you so much
That I just can't resist you
It's not enough to say that I miss you
I feel so untouched right now
Need you so much somehow
I can't forget you
I've gone crazy from the moment I met you"

-Untouched, The Veronicas

I'm not feeling so good today. Tried not to put thoughts into my mind, but they have their own creepy way, to find their place and settle in your head. Yeshhhh, my thoughts can be very intimidating at times..well, most of the time!!

Well, don't yourself wrong. I'm not feeling emo now. Just alot of thinking done, most of them are unnecessary. Sigh, the weekend's supposed to be happy-happy and free from unnecessary pressure or stress. But now, ah! Now...now..

I'm sure as you read on, you will find pictures of yours truly. Just felt that it's about time I post some pictures in this mundane blog. Well, pictures of me would do the trick! (To scare unwanted readers away...hehhe!)

I think all the pictures here were taken this year. Shall not write the dates and times, but if you have been keeping track with my blog, you've probably seen these pictures before. Just for recap sake..cannot mer?

I just realized I partied the most this year. With the year almost coming to an end, I can't help but wonder the reasons of my unleashed fury on alcoholic beverages and sinful puffs this year. 2008, supposed to be a good year, with what the Chinese believe the number '8' symbolizes prosperity, mine was just buckets of gold spent on beer, liquor, ciggies, cigars, petrol, pills, etc. Not to forget, my health deteoriated badly, and the medical reports and checkups were unexceptionally abundant this year. So how can people say that 2008 seem to be a pretty good year, with the Olympics in China..yadda yadda...but this 'good year' doesn't apply to me. Why?

The month of December, the last month of the 12 months, and then, it's either the time you rush to achieve what you wanted in your resolution, or you wish that the year would end A.S.A.P and a better year ahead awaits for you.
I have never believe in resolutions, (nor would I bother to make any, and hope to achieve something). Maybe the year 2009 shall be the year I make my FIRST resolution and keep to it?
Like less drinking, less puffing, less growing?

No matter how messed up I get, I would always make sure that I don't cross the line. Well, most of my friends do ask, "Where's your line?"

Hahha, I wish I'd know.

I just realized I actually don't look good. I do not possess a supermodel's look and figure. I have glasses on, I look like a nerd. I do not have the brains and heart to captivate one's attention. I do not have an attractive name.

Hmm, it's about time I start thinking of more reasons to live.

Happy Winter Solistice, people.

And all that is needed to put that smile on your face is when someone says, "You're mine..".
Suddenly I feel all important again.

p/s: Work sucks..totally! I can't understand a single toot thing!

December is an awesome month, with all the public holidays you can get. Didn't realize December has so many holidays until I start working. (Usually would be having year-end-breaks..hehe). Been around places in KL, the Christmas mood is pretty high this year. Have you done your Christmas shopping already? Or you are one of those who will be doing their last minute shopping tomorrow?

Aren't you afraid of the amount of people cramped in the shopping malls? Even the traffic would kill your patience! Therefore, the best way to shop right now, would be online shopping. Easy, no frills, no jams, even swiping that credit card of yours would be pain-less.

Since I talk so much, I will of course, tell you what to buy lah right.. Oh, did I tell you I was at the PC fair 2 weeks ago, and boy, the prices of pendrives were superbly low, that it barely cost anything, anymore? I remember my first pendrive was a 128Mb which costed me about RM98. Then, it was the cheapest, but now, I bet you can't get that kind of memory capacity in the market, so mine's an antique! Hehhe.
So since, pendrive is a necessity nowadays, and everyone's using one, at least, the best way to differenciate them would be engraving our names on it.

Pexagon is offering 20% off, during this holiday season, for 4 amazing personalized holiday gift ideas. So, in the midst of rushing to get the last turkey off the supermarket, you can forget about buying xmas gifts, when all you need to do is just click on the link given, and start personalizing your gifts to your friends or family.

 One of the items on sale, is personalized thumb drives, available in 14 colours, up to 16 GB with FREE custom laser engraving. A thumb drive with your own name on it, how cool is that? And that, starting $7.99, after discount.

And I saw one unique flash drive, different from the usual plastic kind we have in the market. There are also flash drives which made of aloy or steel, but this, this is environment-friendly, wooden design USB Flash drives! Check out the picture above!.It comes with attached cap and with 2 colour choices, with a memory capacity of 2GB or 4GB with 2 sided custom laser engraving, absolutely FREE!. And, only cost $15.99, after discount. So, convert-convert, only about RM50 something..Ok mar..personal flash drive wor...

There are two other items, also for sale after discount, but I'm not going to tell you what are those..You've gotta see them yourself. Click on the link now!

First turkey dinner of the year.

Christmas dinner, an early one. It's always good food around.

Really felt blessed. Yeah, with food.

Elaborated story, with pictures of gorgeous food soon. Till I find the time.
Packed schedule starting tomorrow evening, up to Saturday night. Yeah, hospital-visit on Friday. but still, it ought to be a great Boxing Day, nevertheless. :D

Half day tomorrow, having my fingers crossed!

If you are heading home tomorrow, have a safe journey. If you are partying tomorrow night, bring enough cash, or credit cards, to pay the bill. If you are thinking of me, well, call me!

p/s: Boy, had 2 pints of Carlsberg earlier, the stomach not feeling well..:|

Still recovering from the heavy partying last night.
A hangover the whole Christmas Day.
G-R-E-A-T.
While everyone's going to work tomorrow, I have a day off. Yeah.

Full scope story soon.
p/s: Happy Boxing Day!

It's been some time since I last cursed the traffic lights for turning green almost immediately after I stopped the car. Well, usually I would be excited if the traffic lights are green when I'm about to reach, but tonight, I wished it hadn't change that quickly. In fact, I wanted the person whom I was driving home, to stay longer in the car, with me.

It's been some time I spend the entire day out from the house.
It's been quite some time I wanna spend the entire day out from the house.
It's been a long time since I had an adrenaline rush, and the non-stop heart racing beat, with the heart waiting to pop out at any second.

Was I exxagerating?
Hell, no! Exactly how I felt the entire day when our skin brushed against one another, when her hand accidentally slit in between my arms, when she gave me that deep thoughtful look.

I felt exactly how I felt, 7 years ago.

Usually, with a group of strangers/friends/aquaintances, I always felt obliged to fill in every silence. If there's silence all of a sudden, it's always awkward to me. I would always try to come up with a lame joke, phrase, story, gossip to fill in the silence to avoid the awkwardness.
But today, today I was in a very comfortable mood. I felt that I have let down all my guard, and opened myself entirely. All vulnerable and guillable. Absorbing everything she said, blindly. Keeping quiet whenever she's talking in a 'high' mode.

It's good when you can just sit around, doing absolutely nothing, looking at passer-bys, and still enjoyed yourself.
The whole day, I wished that the time didn't pass by that quickly. Though I'm pretty sure she assumed that I was in a hurry to leave because I kept looking at my watch, but in actual fact, all I wanted to do was to make the time stop, for the both of us. I was in a comfort zone, that I wished I was in the same cocoon for a longer time.

Such mixed feelings inside. Toying with my emotions.

It's difficult to start a new relationship, just because of the memories you shared before. And even more difficult if it's gonna be a long distance relationship. But ahh, I'm thinking too much. Should learn to control my emotions more.

But today, I wished that I didn't have to drop her, and continued driving.
At least, one of us in the car was happy, and you don't have to ask who it was. 

Still no mood to write about how I celebrated Christmas, and Boxing Day.
Feeling gloomy for no apparent reason, didn't manage to sleep well last night.
Woke up, texted Mel to ask her yumcha, didn't state the time, but she said, "Now?". So, 8 something, got myself ready for breakfast with Mel. Very impromptu. I like it.

Couldn't sleep the night before. Drove the car, 70km/hr on the road. Speeding. Was worried that the car would topple over, but it did not. Damn! Reached her place safely, smiled and off we went to a nearby place for breakfast.

Still didn't know what's affecting my mood. No appetite to eat.
1/8 of the prawn mee, returned to the seller. For RM2.70, I can afford to waste such food. No appetite, what to do? No appetite, no mood, order food, try to stuff lor. When eating, don't need to think so much right?
Ask me think about what, also I wouldn't know how to answer.

Loss of appetite, such critical condition, only happened last time. This time, happened again. Fuck!
Talk talk with Mel, listened to opinions, then have to rush again. Run errands. Do personal stuffs.

Came home, wanted to get some rest, but don't want to think on bed. I know I wouldn't be able to sleep properly, so I woke up and went to my personal drawer space.

This is where I keep all my letters, cards, requests stuffs, presents, etc from friends. If you think why it's so empty,...look again..

I transferred everything onto my study desk.

Not enough space, opened another table.



If you think I'm doing my early spring cleaning, you are absolutely wrong! I was uncertain with certain issues since last night, so after Mel asked me a few Questions, I went back to search for my past histories. Letters, cards which were sent to me, I wanted to read them all. So, I cleared the drawer and tried to figure them one by one.

Most of my friends would often say,

"Sigh, AngKhian wor...who wouldn't know her..so popular last time.."

"Wei, don't play lah..I where got as popular as AngKhian.."

All these kind of comments, I would always humbly reject them. But as I clear my drawer today, I realized there are so so so soooooooooooooooooooo many CNY cards, Christmas cards, Birthday cards in my drawer, so much so, I was amazed that the small drawer of mine could fit everything in it! I cleared the drawer and put all the stuffs back, one by one, while taking the time to read the notes, letters and cards.

One of the most received letters and greeting cards would be from her. This is especially when she just moved to KL after Form 2, but then, emails and internet was not popular, so we had snail mails instead. Silly then, but heck, do you even check your backdated emails? At least I have hardcopy letters and cards okay?
And when I was in Form 3, Sasha and I used to write letters to one another, during the holidays, mailing letter to one another although from the same school. Even found letters/little notes from TingYi, Fanny, HwanJean, Mel and Sarah too! Gosh, don't even forget all the love letters I used to receive, from guys and girls. All the kind of requests stuffs from Juniors and seniors. If you looked at the pictures closer, you would notice that there are heart-shaped soap wax. Don't know which year I got this requests stuffs, but it's already more than 5 years!
All the tiny miniature bottles which has glow-in-the-dark stars, colourful sands, etc. And I was surprised to find 4 CD Compilations of love songs in my drawer!
I guess at one point in high school, I was attracting too many bees and butterflies!

Not something to be proud of, but something worth pulling my self-confidence. Hehhe. Just so many things inside, it's gonna take me hours to name, the sender of everything alone. You would remember if you send me what, if you did that with your heart.

And I found pictures, so random!



Was in the Choral Speaking school team back when I was in Form2, and we represented the district. See, one of the many pictures I don a baju kurung.




Heck, we were excited to get our nasi bungkus..~ lol!

Taken in Pizza Hut, after returning from the competition.

These are the pictures taken when we were not in our best form. Hahha, but you've gotta admit, it's laughing material after a couple of years.

To sum it all up, my mood's getting slightly better to realize how much I'm blessed in the past. Most of them, though not as close as before, yet we still keep in touch. Just hope that there's a time capsule, for me to return to the past. Then, I won't regret for the things I've done, and better still, the things that I should've done. 

My glory.

Have always been having Christmas dinner with my family. We used to go for Christmas buffets, but as the 4 of us grew older (yea!), our appetite gets smaller(except for the brother), so we decided to do simple Christmas set dinners instead, this year. And because we had to go back to Ipoh on the 24th itself, we decided to have an early Christmas dinner this time.

No prize for guessing where we went that night.

Sorry for the tired look; just after work, somemore have to take 2 trains, squashed, all the way to Bukit Nanas monorail station.
(but nevertheless, charming still eh?)

It was my 2nd visit to HardRock Cafe.
It's so happened that when we were there, it was still Happy Hour. Buy 1 Free 1, so I ordered a pint of Carlsberg, and I got another free. 2 pints in a row. Beer belly mana tak datang, you say?

The dinner set is quite reasonably priced. For RM79 nett, you get to enjoy:

1. Appetizer


This was REALLY good. The fish roe, the slices of grapefruit, fresh prawns, pieces of lettuce, mussels.
This could be the main course for me!

2. Chicken Noodle Soup

3. Main Course

There were 3 choices of dish to choose from. Turkey, Steak, and errrr...fish? I'm not too sure.
I chose the Turkey, since it was Christmas, and how Turkey could fit into the picture..hehe..

My brother had the steak instead, didn't manage to try but could see, it should be good.

4. Dessert

By the time I started the main course, I was already feeling full. I blamed it on the heavy lunch I had, McDonalds' Quarter Pounder Medium set. Aaarrghhh..so I couldn't finish 3/4 of the brownie.

5. And a free beverage. A choice between Coke, Sprite, or Ice Lemon Tea.


Itu beer, side order. Hahha!

Oklah, for RM79, it's a good deal. Especially when I'm not the one paying for it.

p/s: Entries on where I spend my Xmas Eve, and pictures of my Granddad's dinner on Christmas Day, very soon..like in 5 minutes? Hopefully la yea?

All my entries are backdated. Gosh!

I was given a half day off on the eve of Xmas, which made the travelling back to Ipoh less pressuring because I had to meet an appointment at 10pm. Was torn apart between to a party of Kerwin's or a party in a club back home. Well, don't get me wrong, I did not choose to forgo the former because it's not in a club with loud blasting music. I just had to come home, since most of them would be leaving soon, and I would only be seeing them next year. Plus it's gonna be a long weekend, that it's impossible to convince my parents to let me stay in KL for Christmas. Gosh, even though I'm in KL, my parents would find a way to make me feel guilty for not coming home during the weekends.

So, by 7.30pm, I was already at home. Got myself ready, to catch a ride from Avinesh to Sincero at 9.15pm. Yeah, probably wondering why we had to reach so early to a club. Hmm, we had plans in mind, and the main organizer was already there, waiting for me. So, being one of the co-organizers, my role would be to accompany those who are there. Cis!, Felt like a "gigolo" that night.

I'm not kidding when I said that it's stupid to club on festive seasons. The cover charge you pay, is enough to last me for 2 weeks' of lunch. Even though we had strings pulled, yet the rule was to "open" a bottle to bring in 6 people, or a bucket of beer to bring in 2. One bucket of Heineken costed about RM70+ and a bottle of liqour is about RM380+. Only idiots would go to a club to party that night, well, rich idiots lah!

So, the plan was to have 18 people for this year's party. We had to open 2 bottles of liqour and a few guys had to open a few buckets of beer.
The organizer took charge and ordered a bottle of Black Label, and Tequila Camilio.

We were there at 9.30, what to do, we had to open the bottle of Tequila to "kill" time.

and in less than half an hour, we could see the Tequila gone from full bottle, to err..half the bottle?
Only 3 of us then. Avinesh, Crystal and Me. No prize for guessing who drank most of that.

At about 10 something, the crowd started to grow slowly. Damn. The place got smoky, and you see waves of people standing, barely have the space to stand. Or even the air to breathe. You can imagine that most of the time, I was out from the club, either bumping into random people, sneaking a puff, or just wanna catch my breath.

This is when the cake was finally brought out. We have always took the opportunity of Xmas party to throw a surprise birthday party for Maylee. So you can probably see why I had to come home and forgo the BBQ party at Kerwin's.

FooYine, Maylee and Khian, with 3 friends of FooYine's. Okay, I didn't really talk to them much, but we could dance together, like no barriers? That's fun okay.


The music style, shifted from RnB, House, then to HipHop.
The DJ was not really that good. The crowd grew larger and larger. Bumped into a few ex-schoolmates, made friends with new people.
One of the funniest thing was when 2 waiters approached me, and asked me whether I was in the same group with Jenny.

Okay, who's Jenny?

I think the ample visits I made to Sincero, they probably recognized me already. And as for Jenny, I think I know who. We partied a couple of times, but I didn't really get names. So, if you meet me in a club, and I stick out my hands for you to shake, don't bother telling me your name, because chances are I won't get to hear you, or I would forget the next minute I turn away.


YokeYee, JesLin, Khian, MayLee, PhooiYee, Crystal.

And this is taken when Maylee wanted to kiss me, but she was shy...



The party lasted til 2am.
Didn't want to leave early, but you know, no car=troublesome. Need to follow people's car. Plus when I reached home, I found my dad waiting for me, on the couch. Okay, guilt pangs!
Thanks to Yoke Yee's Boyfriend, who was kind enough to send me all the way home, even though our houses are far apart.

Many people came to join us. Even though we ordered 2 bottles and a bucket of beer, yet I didn't manage to get high. Only drank 2 sips of liqour, and half a bottle of beer. My drinks keep getting misplaced, so in the end, I got fed up and concentrated on shaking my booty instead.
Well, sorry for those who couldn't make it, either they have plans beforehand, or they refuse to pay the astrocious price for liqour. For RM55 per person, well, not everyone's willing to pay that much.
I can just say that though I'm not that well off, but there should be the time and money allocated for socializing. , that's me lah.

Though the original plan was 18 people in our party, at the end, most of them either left to another club, or they went missing. I kept telling YokeYee, that our little party is too big, and in the end, left me, her and Crystal only. Just like always. Hehhe.

Maylee, the then birthday girl got high, and started dancing. And showing her moves. Whoa, big news, coming from someone who dislikes clubbing.

Again, I got excited seeing someone gigantic.

Sorry Anthony, if you ever reach the page. I didn't mean to get over excited with your presence, but it's the first time I ever seen someone 202 cms tall!

Yoke Yee kept telling me, "Wei, don't treat people like monster lah.."

Hehhe, sorry..must be the alcohol..

Good party that night. Even though there was not exactly much alcohol level in my system. Well, you can't win everything. You can't get the exact fair share if you were to go clubbing. Haih, hati must buka-buka abit lor!



Very sinful Christmas this year. But I like it.!

I've tried rummaging my old photo albums, trying to search for pictures we might have taken together. To my avail, I can't find any. I guess the two of us were pretty camera shy then. Or perhaps we didn't feel the need to take pictures?

Well, I only managed to find TWO, out of the entire pile, which consists of the two of us.
Lucky me!

Taken in 2001

Please don't kill me, kay? Yiling still looks pretty much the same. Whereas the others...like me, have changed lah! Please tell me I've changed kay..I can't believe I looked like a nerd last time!!

Then another one would be,

Taken in 2002, during MGS's Fun Fair.

Can't believe I still look like a nerd!

And recently,

Taken in 2008.

Well, that's 6 years apart. Many have changed. What once seem to be a sin to me, now, I'm practising it too. I've grown up, most importantly.
She said I've changed alot. From the ever crazy, non-stop talking, I've became quieter and more calm.
I would say she changed alot. From her strong cantonese command, to a perfect Australian accent.
But she's still 17 at heart. Never grow up mentally.

And you can't help but wonder, despite the aging, has anything else changed?

Can't sleep, can't eat. What has these few days done to me?

Final day at home. Suddenly I don't feel like going back to work, I don't want to leave home just yet. Not when there are still unsettled issues and with this heavy heart, I doubt I would have the heart to head to work. I ironed all my formal wear, pack my bags, but still can't find the space to place my heart.

I hate it when things like these suddenly happen, and it takes a long time for me to recover.
This was what Mel would say that I'm always trapped in the past. I can't seem to move forward.

For the past few days, very disturbing sleeping patterns, and obvious affected appetite. The exact same situation I faced, when she had to leave to KL. The very same.
Pretty much stuck in the past, eh?

Was out with a couple of friends last night. Just to yumcha.
Been some time I blurted things out so easily. It's always good to be home. (Well, not that I'm not happy with my other friends, but you get the picture, right?)
A friend started to smoke, and so happened, my relatives were there. The thing is I hate people who judge. Especially when they judge my friends. And you can probably guess that this morning, my mum questioned me about my friends who smoke.

Errr...I got furious. At the same moment, I wanted to tell her that it's alright, I do that too. Ocassionally.
But I can't imagine the consequences. I know they can't possibly control me, but trust me, I wouldn't be able to bear with the naggings. So, I chose to keep quiet. When she just went out about how it would affect my image in the society, and how I would have to succumb to peer pressure.

Hello, I guess I already did! Lol.

I'm pretty quiet these days. Not talking most of the time, keeping myself occupied with my inner thoughts. I think, I think too much. But when you ask me what I'm thinking about, I can't tell you. Because I don't even know what I'm thinking about, and even if I know what I'm thinking about, it's about thoughts which wouldn't bear any fruits in the end.

So, then, you would probably ask me to stop thinking.

Cannot-lah. I feed my emotions alot.

Last night, a friend asked me something straight forward.
"Wei, are you alright? I see your pictures in facebook..so you are looking for a guy or a girl?"

Hmm.."I'm looking for the right person."

And for some reason, the person whom I had feelings for, was just sitting right beside me. I tried to avoid any unnecessary stares from any parties. I told myself, it's not gonna work out. It's not gonna work. Stop thinking.

But the thing about playing with fire, is you keep wanting to play with it.
And you can't stop playing.

We had to leave Oldtown Kopitiam since its closing was at 12am. So, my friend and I headed to the nearest mamak to have supper, since neither of us wanted to head home, just yet. Call me sensitive, but I could feel that she was trying to hint some things to me. I refused to believe what I thought it was, but my mind can't stop replaying the same words she muttered. We stayed till about 1, then she drove me home. Before I got out from the car, she gave me a bear hug. Something which I'm always afraid of. Hugs, only happen, when it's time to say goodbye.

I'm just not ready to do so, not just yet.

One thing I should let you guys know is I have trouble having physical contact, especially with girls. Like, let's say you would see at times, 2 girls would be having their arms crossed while doing their shopping. They are not gay. It's just normal for girls to do so. Or let's say, 2 girls shares a glass of drink, using the same straw. They are not gay. It's just what girls usually do.

For me, nah. I can't do that. Not if she's the person I'm with.
I can't even do that with my own family. Just only the person I'm with.

So, when she gave me a hug last night, all I could do is just gave her a soft pat on the back. And walked down from the car.

Words can't explain my feelings at the moment. Not even when I thought I would be able to write them all down last night. I couldn't. I stayed motionless on bed. When I received her online message on MSN.

And then I realized the reason why I have sleeping disorder these days.

I've been subconsciously waiting for her to appear online, to talk to her.

Tell me why the hell I'm torturing myself this way. Tell me.

p/s: I'm sorry I couldn't be there for a friend these days. I knew about her heart break, but I'm sorry I had to cancel our appointments and dates. I have very unstable emotions these days, and before I can help you, I have to figure out somethings for myself first. I'm sorry. and take care yea!

am writing from the 15th floor, Wisma Bumi Raya. Looking across the sky scrapers, the endless railroads and the busy land roads.
Today's a bad day to work, especially after returning from a long holiday. Reached KL at 12.30 this morning, changed, and was on the phone till 3.30am. Still refused to climb to bed after that, deadly thoughts swarming my mind.

It was good that things are exactly the same, 7 years back. Still feel as heavy hearted to hang up.

Today I felt terrible. 2 hours of sleep is not enough.
But I'd never felt as warm and loved inside. Not at least for a couple of months now.
Sleepy.

"I wanted to be like you
I wanted everything
So I tried to be like you
And I got swept away

I didn't know that it was so cold
And you needed someone
to show you the way
So I took your hand and we figured out
That when the tide comes
I'd take you away

If you want to
I can save you
I can take you away from here
So lonely inside
So busy out there
And all you wanted
was somebody who cares"

- All You Wanted, Michelle Branch

It used to be our song.

Ever since I bought my new pair of glasses, brand: Everlast, I have thoughts about getting a new one.

Don't look at MeiLing, please look at my pair of glasses. Hehhe.
I know cannot see clearly ge lah...




Again, don't look at the person next to me. Please look at my glasses.

Yes, I bet you can see what I'm going to say next.
Zenni Optical is, (again!) selling pretty cheap glasses, and one of the designs is bound to be your liking.
I've checked the website myself and I personally like this pair..:



I wished I've seen this earlier. I would've bought it, in conjuction of Christmas and the New Year. What a way to compensate the absence of snow in Malaysia, right?
I know this looks exactly the same like my current design, but if you look good in it, it doesn't matter whether it's new or old design.

They are having a promotion on their Holiday frames. Like always, you need to click on the link to see the designs yourself. But I assure you, those are sure hell affordable! Where else can you get frames which cost as low as $8.00? After convert-convert, you only pay RM25.00. So stylish. So in-style..Where to get?

What are you waiting for? Get yourself a new pair of glasses. What's a better way to welcome the new year, with a new pair of eye-wear. *wink!*

You can never deny the fact that as you do year-end count downs, you grow a year older.

The experiences of counting the year till the very last second, especially after high school, is pretty much fresh in mind.

2 years ago, I met up with a group of friends in Kopitiam.

I didn't stay for long, because as soon as we exchanged words of greetings, I had to sped off to MeiLing's.

I'm sorry I couldn't find the picture of us, holding liqour glasses, looking all drunk, with our Malaysian food. This, is a picture of us, staying awake the whole night, then going for dimsum, and went back to MeiLing's, still refused to sleep and had heart-to-heart talk.


To usher the year 2008, I was one of the many idiots, who parked my car in the Curve's carpark, at 10 am, and hung around until it was time to count down. Quite a memorable year, considering I spend it with my (then) girlfriend, and also a whole lot of other idiots who came all the way to witness the fireworks. Also managed to meet up with Foo, Jiang and their friends in TGIF. It was so crowded, that even though we left The Curve at 12.30, we only managed to reach home at 4, even though her house was only a 10-minute drive away.

This year, looking back the year 2008. All the good and bad.
Some things, made me laugh and cried. Most of them, I took it as a lesson learned.

As I'm writing this down, it's 15 minutes to a new beginning. This year, I'm spending it in front of my laptop, in the comfort of my new home. I've turned down all invites to Bukit Bintang, The Curve, and even all the way up Genting. And I apologize for being an introvert at the very last minute of 2008. Let's just say, all I wanna do now, is just finish typing this entry, do some stretching and head to bed. Let the year 2009 come, peacefully for me. I'm done with loud banging, booming music. I'm done with fireworks and firecrackers. I'm done with the crowd. I'm done with having to fork out unnecessary cash, just to buy myself a good time.

Well, don't get me wrong. I did enjoy the year when I had to usher the year 2007, with my old friends. It's a pity we couldn't do a nice, quiet one this year.

The year 2009, brings a better meaning, for me. To remind me of the pain the year 2008 has brought me, but also to push me to accept 2009 with an open heart. Let me wake up tomorrow, erase all my past sins and mistakes, delete all the heartaches, and make me a brand new person.
I just want to turn anew.

Happy New Year to you, who are reading this.
Drink some juice, if you are still having a hang-over.
Reflect about your past mistakes, and move on already.
And call your parents, and family, tell them you love them alot.

As for me, I have plans tomorrow. As I'm sitting here typing my very last words to wrap up the year 2008, I know someone's having a great time at the beach party organized by Sincero. (darn! I couldn't be home to see it!) but I bet she's thinking about me at the same time. (she'd better be, lol!)

Happy New Year once again,
and may the year 2009 be less dramatic.