"Hey, don't get shocked okay..urm, I'm not coming on Friday.."

"Ooooookay..(heart crushed into bits and pieces)"

"Plans got changed, I'm coming tomorrow noon instead."

Hahha, exactly what I wished for. Which is today.
The year just got kicked start perfectly fine~

And now, just to pass time..I'm heading to TimeSquare to meet up with TeeHooi. Hahha, abandoning ShiouTing because her Alex is back home!
*See, ShiouTing, we PURPOSELY wanna leave you out!*

And hopefully, 3pm comes as quickly as possible! Tomorrow, can take MC ah??

And so, I didn't take MC today.
Love working so much..haha..

Went out with TeeHooi yesterday. Not really for shopping, since the 2 of us can't shop when there's another person. So, we actually spend most of the time chatting. (Not like we never do online..hehe) I guess most of us are used to seeing one another everyday, till sometimes, I would call ShiouTing to tell her I miss her. Lol!

We had an honest phone conversation last night. Time to spill the beans and stop beating around the bush. I enjoy the moments we are together, but I'm not the kind who takes relationship lightly. Was on the phone with a couple of my friends, last night. Most of the things told to me, was already in my head. Maybe I just needed some confirmation.

I asked myself, am I up for this?
Do I want a short-lived wonderful happiness, or a clear cut?

For most of the things I've done, I have always felt a slight tinge of regret. Last night, was one of it.

I have self control. It doesn't matter if it's a lot or a little. I do have self-control.
Sometimes, if I wanna do something, and I know it's wrong, I will stop doing it, even if it kills me.
But if I wanna do something very eagerly, and if I can justify my actions, I would do it.

Confusing? I'm as confused as you are, as I'm typing this entry.

I didn't come home last night. Did some things which I am not proud of, did something which I used to be afraid of doing, and regretted badly for not pushing my luck further.
Yeah, it's true when I was told, "I know you will do it, but at the same time, I know you are scared."

I'm scared of the consequences. I do. I have guts as small as the chicken liver.

I really wanna write a very clear story, but I have to leave again. Plans are aplenty this weekend, and I have still not write my weekly report. T_T. Bummer!

Have you ever wanted to stay beside someone, for as long as you can? And wished that time would stop, for eternity?

天啊！我真的玩不起！
Loss of mental and emotional capacity.

You probably don't understand me, but the last thing I want to do now, is to pressure you.

I ordered myself a Dark Cherry Mocha Frap today, out of the blue. It's probably cause I missed you, too much.

"Cuz you leave me speechless
When you talk to me
You leave me breathless
The way you look at me
You manage to disarm me
My soul is shining through
Can't help but surrender
My everything to you

I thought I could resist you
I thought that I was strong
Somehow you were different from what I've known
I didn't see you coming
You took me by surprise and
You stole my heart before I could say no

Falling head over heels
Thought I knew how it feels
But with you it's like the first day of my life"

The little vacation got cancelled. It's okay. With great hopes comes disappointments. I've learned.

We've been together, for 3 whole years. We never took the time to appreciate one another, until we got lonely. We've been through ups and downs, emotional turmoils, flunk tests, but most of the time, we succeed, we made it through.

Tomorrow, as the 5 of us would be heading to work in the morning, 1 of us would be flying from KLIA. To a foreign country.

4 months worth of spending SO MUCH time together, and now, we are all separated, each thrown into different corners of the country. 1 is flying off to the Land of Slanting Towers and the hot coochie mammas.

You know we love you, bitch. Even though we said we are gonna block you on GTALK, and with the time difference, we would never bump into one another. Yet, you can always come to my blog, read the happening stuffs we've done, without your presence.
And yes, Facebook-the powerful tool of updating you with our gatherings.

Go with RM, come home with Euros.
Take care Noiseemunkee, and don't bring back anything more than Euros.

*Picture courtesy of Khian's camera, Jhua's photoshopping, and 6 pretty, handsome models.

Crushed, could just be the right word.

Sometimes, I find myself drawn slowly towards your direction. I keep silent, fear to say a word which could jeopardize anything. I see you smile, see you laugh, sometimes, see the way you babble your way to cheer me up. I thought you were having a good time, with me around. And then you said, that you felt uncomfortable with the silence. It was awkward.

I heard the words from your mouth. You said you were selfish, you wanted a great time, but not with a stone hedge. I'm sorry. Couldn't find the right words to defend myself. Probably the best thing to do is just keep quiet, let you be straightforward.  It's okay, both of us have changes, both of us need the time to adapt. I'm just apologetic with the fact that I bore you. I didn't know. I wanted to give you the best, but my best, is always not enough. I'm too numb already. I have no idea how to express the way I feel. Especially the way I feel about you. 

Confused. Just as confused as Day 1. Felt misused.
Nah, this is probably the time I should stop thinking. You should understand the way I feel. It's still strong.

"Christmas Eve Party" - Pretty much sums up everything.   love the artwork!

I may seem strong, on the outside, but from the inside, I'm just as scared as you are.
You know what you want, you seem certain.
But I don't. I'm still uncertain.
Each step I take, comes with a consequence. Just a matter of me, being brave enough to take which.
I know one thing's true.
I want a consequence which has you in it.

It takes alot of persistence and courage to not seek for your number.

It takes alot of self control to not find reasons to text/call you.

It takes alot of braincells, to stop thinking about you.

It's giving me a major headache and heartache.

I'm under intense pressure. Handling 3 projects at the moment. It's as if I'm a fresh graduate, but the problem is I have absolutely null idea of what I'm doing. This is so frustrating. I'm trying to work as much as possible, but at the same time, this unnecessary pressure is killing me. I'm getting myself numb with all the workload, but I can't stop myself from thinking, and thinking.

Meeting deadlines, meeting tenders. Aaarrgghhh..frustrating...!

"Lets pretend you’re mine
We could just pretend, we could just pretend, yeah yeah
You got what I like
You got what I like, I got what you like
Oh come on
Just one taste and you’ll want more

So tell me what your waiting for

Come on baby we ain’t gonna live 4ever
Let me show you all the things that we could do
You know you wanna be together
And I wanna spend the night with you
Yeah, yeah, with you, yeah, yeah
So come with me tonight
We could make the night last 4ever"

"Hey, enjoy the bus ride okay? "

Took me hours to decide whether it was best to text her. Sigh, life.

Now it's back to work. Doing overtime today, wish me well.

Hope you have fun roaming the streets of KL. I shall stay out of it.

OMG.OMG. OMG!!
I'm so estatic at the moment. Thank God. Thank the Lord for everything he has given to me, until this moment. Thank You!
Before I continue telling my little story, I would like to introduce you the new girl of my life.

Meet the new girl of my life. Yeah, I know. Even though we've met a few years back, but it's time to move on, and start a new relationship. Ain't she a babe?
Well, you know me..none of my girlfriends look less than the word hot, so yeah, now baru sepadan mah...

Actually horr, I enjoy looking at myself more. XP

So yeah, we didn't last very long. Only enough to capture this picture together, for memory sake.
Hehhe..I'd better stop fooling around, or else SOMEONE's gonna come hunting for me.

LET ME CLARIFY ONE THING. EVERYTHING WRITTEN AFTER THE PICTURE, AND BEFORE THIS STATEMENT IS ABSOLUTELY, TOTALLY FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES. NONE OF THE SENTENCES WERE TRUE, NEITHER DO THEY MAKE SENSE.



Although we sometimes potray acts of gay-ism, but no! we're not an item. Never will be. Lol! So, am still a potential partner okay?? *hint-hint*

Actually, last weekend, most of us had to clear our busy schedules to go all the way to KL city to have lunch with 'dai ka che' in Pavillion. As always, her favourite dish would be Japanese, so as usual, her suggested place would be Sakae Sushi. I arrived the earliest, considering the night before, was spent in Renaissance Hotel with a friend, but that's another story. However, I was not properly dressed for the ocassion, and you'd probably see why after a couple of pictures shown later.

Nevermind that, though I only had 2 hours of sleep the night before, but a good PR person would never show his/her tiredness in a crowd. Well, as usual, most of us didn't arrive on the dot because factors such as the delay of public transport, or the timing, so we were only seated 40 minutes after the agreed time.

Well, Civilians are pretty flexible in that manner. No questions asked. No consequences. Let's just say we know roughly when to expect the whole quorum to arrive. Which is why, we only limited this "private" lunch to 4 person, including the 'dai ka che'.

It was nothing like a birthday lunch though. We spend most of the time, updating each other, since Joshua came all the way from up North. Pretty sure it has nothing to do with 'dai ka che', but that doesn't really matter, as long as he came by. We never run out of topics of conversation. Don't remember the last time we had to crack our heads to come up with crap to discuss about.

No one really ordered food, except for me. There's no reason to not eat, just because everyone's talking, right?

We got something special for 'dai ka che' this time. No ordinary shirts, necklaces, bracelets..yada..Although she requested a Coach bag, but you know, we want to be different!

So, we got her a photo frame instead.......
and printed a picture of us.


Hmm..I wonder why I was holding the gift instead of the birthday girl..lol..probably too excited wanna show the idea...lol..Can you identify the pictures in the frame?

The lunch was pretty brief, lasted about 2 hours? Then YewTeng came and join us, and WuiKeong too. Too bad there were no pictures of WuiKeong.



Well, that's one for the road.

It's almost midnight here. She's already in KL, was on the phone with her. For the first time, my appetite grew slightly better. Naturally, that's how things should be for the moment.

And yeah, thank God for everything He has blessed me with. What a way to start the New Year! Hallelujah!
Oh, yeah..why hor...RESULTS are out lah..that's why!

*gleams*

Have been running around Construction sites lately. Engineers have been pretty good towards me. Still a pretty young kid in their eyes, which is kinda good. They tend to be alil over-protective at times, but it doesn't matter. I love the attention.

Had lunch with the colleagues today. Friday's always the best! 2 hours lunch break.
So, we had Manhattan Fish Market. Overrated. We should have just gone to The Ship instead. For the price paid, totally not worth a single cent. Luckily, my portion was paid by my Supervisor. At least he did one human thing today. Lol!

After lunch, an Engineer brought me along to his site. Unprepared, I went in my office attire, with my leather heals. Although the boss was relunctant to let me go I insisted because I NEED TO GET OUT FROM THE OFFICE!
I went to the site, walked around, pretended to understand what the Engineers were talking about, and then, yes, my favourite session after a site visit: YumCha! Sat down, did alil introduction with the SubCons, and haha, talking to them, was great fun because you only talk crap. Exactly like what I used to do back in UTP. Hahha.

However, when we returned for a 2nd visit before we had to leave, heavy downpour. So, both the Engineer and I had to run all the way to his car, which was parked quite further away. Totally like those romantic Korean drama scenes. He looked back a couple of times, probably checking whether I was still running along. Lol! It seems funny everytime the scenes kept playing in my head. Lol!

Went back to the office, work alil, before leaving.

Back home now, got ready, and now, writing an entry before I head out to catch up with a friend of mine.
I need to chill weh. Need to puff-puff. Lol! Need to drink teh O ais limau.

How're you spending your weekend?

Blogging from Mel's house in Bangsar.

It's almost 2 in the morning now, feeling slight exhausted. Should be sleeping but things crowding my mind. Need time to cool down. Had a glass of Mojito earlier, and a scoop of Baskin Robin's Jamaica Almond Fudge. And yes, naan with chicken tandoori. A night, with only eating and drinking done, yet a chunk of my money is gone. Totally for entertainment purposes.

So how's the nightlife in Bangsar?

For a Friday night, it's quite busy. Been so long I didn't come out at night ever since I came to KL. An eye-opener. Just a night I wished for. Chilling only.


Tomorrow's another busy night. Friend coming down. Have to meet up with another friend in the afternoon.

Weekend's should be 4-5 days instead. 2 days mana cukup?

Writing after something big happened last night. Massive. Tiring.
Write later.

I'm beginning to hate train rides; not because it's crowded at the wrong hours. But because it takes a very long time before it reaches my station, and the ample time on train, gives me the ample space to gather unnecessary thoughts, which can be pretty depressing at times.

And recently, I realized I get disappointed pretty much on trains. Both my vacations were cancelled when I was on the train. Receiving such disappointing texts saying that trips are cancelled, really can kill one's mood.

Nevermind that. It's alright lah. Things happen for a reason. 

The things I do, for important people. Silly. Yeah. Stupid. Yeah. Crazy. Definitely. 
But at least show me that I'm being appreciated. I can cross the 7 seas for you, but at least let me know that you know what I've done.

Old enough to know when you are not being appreciated. Sad Sunday today. Shall compile pictures and write about my weekend later. Feels like taking a breather.

If your name ain't Michelle Yew Yee San, you can probably ignore this entry.

I'm not sure whether I have posted these pictures here, but anyway, if I had, I'm posting them again for YeeSan who's currently having her ass frozen in London. Guess which is why she craved for Fish Head Noodles very muchie..

I'm only having Koko Crunch for dinner, and as I'm seeing the pictures of the noodles, I'm actually tempted to drive out and have real dinner instead. Sigh.

So, yeah, YeeSan, as promised.

i very the benci the stupid computer, and the stupid connection.

i typed the very long entry about my weekend, and the Internet Explorer 7 died on me. Making my whole computer hang, and then the Internet Explorer had to close down.

i very the fucked up and pissed off okay.



Somemore my entry very the long, and very the got feel one. Now, with one button, it's all gone.



i very the benci lorrrr...

lazy to write another one lah. very.
stupid weekend coming to an end lah. very stupid.

tomorrow need to wake up at 7 and go to work. like what the...hell right?

I've a feeling if I don't write about my weekend, someone's gonna beat me up the next time she sees me.
I'm not going to point out who, but Maylee ah..maylee can be pretty violent at times..XP

I did write a very long entry but because my IE crashed in the midst of me typing, it's all gone. Yeah, wth right?

So, I shall do this in point form because it's about 9.30pm, and I really need to sleep soon.

• Friday night, drove all the way to Bangsar to meet up with Mel. Clueless with the directions, just wanted to do abit of driving around, and needed to chill. Totally not a person who stays indoors on a weekend. So, 10pm, took the car and found my way to Bangsar, alil detour to KL Sentral since I took the wrong turning. Arrived safely and Mel took me to Devi's Corner for Naan+Chicken Tandoori. Chilled and I think I suffocated Mel. Lol.
• Walked around Bangsar after mamak. First time in the middle of KL's nightlife, in Bangsar. Glad that it's pretty safe. Quoted from Mel, "It's pretty safe here. Here, the cars don't knock you, you knock them."
• Bumped into my colleague. He was probably shocked to see me in Bangsar, 12 am. I guess I gave them the impression of a nerd at work. Hahha.
• We ended up in Finnegan's Irish Pub, a pit-stop. Had Mojito. Can hear the music across the street. Good price for the alcohol. Would have ordered another one, if money wasn't a problem. Nevertheless, if you just want a decent drink, it's pretty reasonable.
• Continued walking around Bangsar, stopped by 7-11 and found myself asking Mel whether she wants Ice-cream. Then, it was already 12 something. This was because of the Haggen Daz parlour in 7-11.
• So, we went all the way to Baskin Robbins. After a scoop each, we headed home.
• Got cleaned, and stayed awake on the bed. We talked about things which we can never talk over a cup of coffee. It's good that I knew more about this friend of mine. Things which we would shared, lying in the darkness. For the first time, I find myself listening to her.
• The next morning, my alarm didn't ring, so we woke up 3 hours later than the agreed time. Went to a nearby Kopitiam for breakfast.
  
  

  
  Orgasmic.

  
  Salted Vege+Pork Intestines with Lou Shu Fun (RM4.50 of pure heaven!)

• Then, got ready again, and went to Midvalley to meet up with Maylee. Mel followed coz she wanted to take the KTM to Subang. Stayed long enough to take pictures.

  
  They should thank me coz if it wasn't for me, the two of them wouldn't have met. The "Lai" family, faster thank me. I really feel like a diplomat at times.
  

  
  Aren't you glad that you have a spontaneous camera-woman? Taking pictures all of a sudden?
  

• The rest of the day was spend in Midvalley, doing the annual CNY shopping. We practically finished 'scanning' the entire building, and that includes The Gardens.

One good thing about hanging out with an Ipohian, is that you would notice that Ipohians are usually very generous when it comes to food. We don't mind paying more for eating, but when it comes to buying things, we can be pretty thrifty. Unlike some people who would rather starve and buy expensive goods, so silly okay.

"I had Asterdam's for lunch!"

• Walked abit more and then find ourselves in deep shit when one of us brilliantly came out with the plan of catching a movie in Sunway Pyramid. So, I had to send my laundry to the dobi near my place first
  

  

  and then drove all the way to Subang. Again, had absolutely no idea about the directions, just 'ngeh-ngeh' want to go. In the end, after paying RM4.40 of toll, we reached a point where I had to ring Yiling to ask our whereabouts. Thank goodness we made it, just on time for the 7.30 show.
• "Lady Cop and Papa Crook". Very artistic movie. So much so, we left the cinema, still blur.
• Went to look for MeiYenn, opposite The Summit, again, no sense of directions. We made it though. She brought us for supper nearby. Bid farewell.
• Came back to Bukit Jalil, found out that MeiYenn left her keys in my car. Told her that I would come back, after I take a shower. It's been a long day.
• Reached my condo door, only to find the grill door locked. Called my roommate 4347183871663545 times, but no one picked up. Pryed open the wooden door and bang on it, so many times. The neighbours awoke, still no sign of roommate.
• Fuck it, drove all the way to MeiYenn's again. Borrowed her bathroom to shower. Luckily we went shopping that day. Fresh change of clothes, but was too tired. Pulled out the extra mattress and both MayLee and I shared a single bed.

• The next day, realized my back is killing me. Can't take sleeping on the hard floor. Nevermind that, got back on the road by 9am to Bukit Jalil. Wanted to collect my laundry, but still not done. Went for DimSum in Sri Petaling, to kill time.
• Tired. But went back to Condo, this time the roommate already left the building. Maylee can't kill her, phew. Showered, for real.
• 10.45am, Maylee met up with EeLin for a couple of minutes, then we took the train to places. She wants to go home, and I had to go KL Sentral to meet up with Penny.
• Sit-sit, chill-chill, talk-talk, and more Starbucks until her train came at 3.00pm.
• I went home, bathed again, had my tea and slept till 7pm. Skipped lunch, the backache came back

That's about how my weekend went. Totally no time for resting. I told my colleagues that Weekends are meant for me to enjoy to the maximum and Weekdays, well..urm..weekdays are for what ah?

"Well you whispered to me
And I shiver inside
You undo me and move me
In ways undefined
And you're all I see
And you're all I need
Help me baby (help me baby)
Help me baby (help me now)

Cos I'm slipping away
Like the sand to the tide
Falling into your arms
Falling into your eyes
If you get too near
I might disappear
I might lose my mind"

-Too Lost In You-Sugababes 

If getting drunk can make you forget about the problems, I would do that every night.

I miss you.

If I don't write this, I'm gonna be reminded for the rest of my life.

I think I'm getting older. Remember I went shopping last weekend?

I forgot where I parked my car. Twice. In two different malls. And when I was in Midvalley, I had to call Mel and asked for directions to my car. Paiseh, right? Yeah, Maylee and Mel are taking turns to remind me about the incidents. Good. They had to remind me I'm getting older.

End of story. Actually not so important, Dunno why the two monkeys have to keep reminding me. Takde kerja ke oi?

Was out from the office the whole day. My colleague asked whether I wanted to follow him to the site, in Mines City, and of course, what can beat that? I don't want to stay in the office okay. So, he gave me his keys to his BMW and asked me to drive him instead. He had to read up some documents before the meeting, so there I was, all the way to Mines City, in a BMW. Life couldn't be better then.

Reached Mines, he told me to do my own activity. I was like, "Huh? Serious meh.. my log book is empty wor.."
I tagged along to his meeting. First time attend meeting, felt very nervous. I saw the clients, the QS, the Contractors, the Security department, the other engineers, the architects. Whoa, something big.

When the meeting started, suddenly I felt like I was sucked back to the time I attended Rotaract and EDX meetings. Very organized at times. But sometimes, everyone stood up and looked at plans, some people talking on the phone, some talking else where. And even when the client yelled at the Architects or Contractors, it felt exactly the same way how my meetings were usually conducted. Only this time, it's for real. It's really work!

The clients realized my presence. Kept asking me whether I've graduated, from which Uni, this and that.
Asked me whether I want to join his Developer Company after graduation.

No Thanks.

I may be able to stand the yellings and scoldings, but I can't stand the designing part. But I didn't tell that to his face. All I did was smile and nod.
Have to give face one mah..pretend to be interested first..
Lol!

Their meeting dragged, from 10am to 4pm. In the middle, there was a lunch break. They had people bungkus Pizza into the meeting room. Good, I quietly took 3 big pieces of Pizza and a wing myself. I hope no one saw me. I have a big appetite mar..what to do.

Halfway meeting, my colleague asked me whether I can still stand. I wanted to stay longer, interested being in the middle of the 'warzone' and not getting shot directly. But as it was approaching 2pm, I started feeling sleepy so I asked to be excused and wanted to catch a movie initially. No good movies, so I walked around. Mines City, the last time I was there, was urm..as tall as my dad's waist? I don't know. All I remembered was the water taxis.

I walked around, tried to shop. Oh man, if I were to be there longer, my entire savings would be gone. Even the HOL shop 'robbed' my last RM100 away!! Impulsive benar!

So, I decided to stop in Big Apple to eat. At least when you are stagnant at one place, you don't have temptations, right? That was when I called Mel, and chatted. No boyfriend/girlfriend, what to do? You call your only friend. Lol!

At about 4, my colleague called me, asked me to join them yumcha. So, went there, again, talk crap, with the people. So, now, all of them knew I'm not going to be an engineer when I graduate.
But it was nice, to get to know people.

Hang around, then went for badminton with my colleagues. Was the only girl. Again. Nice game, I love badminton. See the director, like kid, holding badminton racquet.

What a day. No mood to write, but just felt like typing something. SHould really start on my weekly report, I'm still at Week 2.

Been eating alot lately, until the belly is bulging, even before I eat. Signs of getting fat.

• After having lunch, still insist to buy 12 pieces of 'kuih bahulu' for tea.
  All that for RM3.00.

and signs of you falling in "love" with a piece of kuih..

• You take pictures of it, before popping them into your mouth and savour the taste.

  

and I told my colleague, I wouldn't be able to finish all 12 of them.

Trying to not get affected by everything you said. Maybe what you said, is slow hinting to me that you want to spend more time with your family before leaving. I get it. I totally understand. I just don't want us to feel uncomfortable, with what comfort we used to have together. You told me that you don't really feel like leaving this place anymore, not as badly as you wanted to. I know the reason ain't about me. So, I told you what I would always tell the rest. These feelings come because you feel attached with what has happened for the past 1 month. Such feelings will go. And you added, "In time, it will." Maybe I think too much. Unnecessary thoughts. Sometimes I felt like a toy to you. An emotional bolster for you to play with, when you are bored. Or maybe you didn't mean it that way. I don't know. I'm not that smart as everyone thinks I am. I am still as emotionally weak as before. Sometimes I regret, regret letting you know. Letting you in. Telling you clearly about how I feel. In black and white. That way, you know how to manipulate me. How to manipulate my feelings. And use it to your advantage. I'm naive in that way. Thinking that I was able to prove to you a point. One point. But whatever you've said, it penetrated my heart. Lingered in my thoughts. For very long. Till now. I can't do this. I really can't. I don't know how to revert back to how things used to be. That's where the regret comes in. Too bad I can't turn back time. Just too bad. I care for you. I care about you. You are more like a family to me, used to, and even now. But things seem different lately. The distance. You seem to be putting a distance between us, even when we are in the same continent. Why? Why are we dwelling on things which may not happen in the near future? But why are we being so pessimistic about distance? Why are you forcing me and yourself to put behind whatever we may have, just because of the long distance? Or is it just me who's having such funny feelings lately? Or were you just playing along to make me happy? That short-lived happiness. Eitherway, I thank you, really. At least we tried working things out. Though I'm not sure whether it worked out the way I wanted it to be.

Just so you know, you are in my thoughts everday. And I love you, in whatever possible way.

I don't usually hang out during weekdays; unless it's for something really really important, or I'm just plain tired with work that I need to chill. Made a couple of phone calls, texts, and yeah, I met up with Mel in Bukit Bintang on a Thursday night. Well, I reckoned Friday's gonna be pretty free and stress-free, so Thursday-to meet up for dinner should be fine. Plus I came to know Parkson, Pavillion is having SALES at the moment, so thought of checking it out.

We had dinner in Food Republic. Nothing much to talk about, food court mah! Well, we came to an agreement to eat CHEAPER than what we buy because that seems to be more logic. But urm, I don't think that went pretty well, because we are afterall, a true Ipohian, who only digs food, rather than spending them, on stuffs. I'm just saying that this theory only applies onto certain Ipohians, so don't come spamming my comment box saying that you are different.

Well, we didn't exactly buy anything, because it's the time when cash is running low. So we walked around, and then we took pictures.

Very CNY mood already.

It's as if we were on a holiday, taking pictures wherever we went. Well, it's a pre-vacation thing, since we might be going for a trip together sometime this year, so this is a pre-pre vacation-lah!

I suggested that we should get a drink first before heading home. Like Starbucks. But then again, I was probably running out of options because I can't possibly take alcoholic-based drinks on a weekday and it was obvious Mel was getting tired of Starbucks. So, we walked around and found the 'Chocolate Lounge'.

Having seen Godiva, I was kinda skeptical with what we can get from Chocolate Lounge, but I figured a Chocolate Drink can't simply go wrong, right?

We sat down, to study the menu. Hmm, while I went snooping around the counter to see that one small piece of chocolate costs about RM4.90 average. Wei, RM4.90, I can eat Nasi Ayam+ Teh Cina Panas, and go home feeling all filled up. :S

"Khian, let's have a Chocolate Affair."

(How Random)

"Urm, okay..How?"

Jokes aside, 'Chocolate Affair' is a chocolate fondue, comes with fruits and marshmallows. I've never exactly ordered things like this before so it was really my first attempt on an affair. ;P
I love it, and the fact that even the two of us couldn't finish the portion, means it's really worth our money. RM25 for a quick affair. And in the open too. *wink!*

Step 1: Make contact with the fruit.



Step 2: Dip the fruit with chocolate, freeze, stare at the right camera angle, smile.



Step 3: Try to scare what you are gonna eat.




Step 4: Tunggu apa lagi?

I tell you hor, time makan-makan, cannot be shy-shy wan...same thing like an affair, if wanna "curi makan", then you have to curi-makan openly, cannot cover-cover; or else no fun.
(wait, don't ikut perkara yang salah okay?)

And don't be like her. Skipped all the entire 3 steps and went straight to Step 4.


Gelojohnyeeee....


And a simple "Sweet Heart Mocha" to give a sweet end to our little Chocolate Affair.



Yum-yum~


Mel+Khian=Sinful dessert

A very good night spend. Less than RM50 for food and pleasure. Good.


Looks like we were on a vacation right?! Right??

#Host your pictures with Acobox. Get clearer, better picture quality. 

I'm usually away during the weekends. Either I go back to Ipoh, or I would always try to make plans for the weekend. For the past 3 weeks, I've been spending my weekends, either bunking in with my friend, or just staying out to enjoy the late night drive. Some of my friends, I see them almost every weekend. I don't know whether they enjoyed my company or not, but I definitely did enjoy theirs.

I apologize if I'm constantly texting you people, asking whether there are plans, or wanna do something together that kind of thing. Maybe I just don't want to feel lonely, on a weekend.

It's stressful and torturing enough to wake up everyday, heading to work. I don't want to spend my weekends curled up in bed, having impossible thoughts running through my head.
Even if it meant by bunking in with your friends, you lie on a sleeping bag, on the hard, cold floor, but that's warmer than my own mattress in KL. I need people to be constantly around me, because I need distractions. I need to keep my mind busy, to prevent my tear glands from working.

I want to stop being so weak, so much so I think of you, day and night. I shouldn't be.

You were everything I had, and missed.

"Congratulations with your graduation. Embarking on another journey of life, our gap is getting wider and wider. You never seem to reply my online messages, it's alright, as long as I know you are getting them. I hope you are able to decide what you want your path to lead you next, because I want the best for you. If only I could be there for you, you would understand how I feel. "

Sometimes I sit in trains, and I thought about things. Things which makes me happy for a short period of time, because I know it's never gonna happen. But a person can dream, can't I? They do say dreams do come true, if you work hard for it. And if I believe it more. It's gonna work out, right?

I am doing so, dar. I am. Really am.

Trying so hard, to focus. Even if it's never gonna work out in the end, at least it gives me hope. To have something to look forward to, in the future.

Sometimes, I think I miss you. It's true. The first cut is always the deepest, and yes, you gave me the cut.



End my misery. You know you are the only one who can do so. <3.

• Sign of you hanging out in the train station too often:
  The train drivers talk to you, ask you why so young already go to work in the morning, and they smile at you whenever they see you in the station.
• Sign of you taking the train too often:
  You see the regulars on train, and if you are lucky, they will leave a seat for you. And one of them caught you in tears, they offer you a piece of tissue and never ask you what's wrong.
  
  

Weekends always with good food.

Not going to do any food review. Yiling's gonna do it, some time soon. Let's hope she doesn't procrastinate okay?



The thing with hanging out with bloggers, you have to give them alil space of their own. This is especially when the food is served, you have to let them capture every single detail at their own pace. You are not supposed to rush them, or ask stupid questions because that's gonna block their creative juice from flowing. When you notice that they have already start to put down their big cameras, then only you may proceed to ask their permission politely to start dining.

XP



I think I can be elected as the next "Menteri Perhubungan". Everytime I tend to bring long lost friends together. And it gives you that warm,fuzzy feeling.

One upclosed!

I think I ought to write this down.

I feel so pampered at work. Today I left work at 5.45pm sharp, and I reached the ground floor just on time to see my other colleagues there, then they asked me to go for Sate dinner. So, we walked to a nearby Sate Kajang branch and I had so many sticks that I was so full. And I didn't have to pay a single cent.
All of them kept saying, "No need lah..no need.." even when I insisted to pay for my share.

I know it's no big dinner, or fancy food, but I'm grateful that deep down, they treat me like their young sister. Very protective towards me. I think that's the only reason why I am still staying behind. The company.

Even if I tell you "Yes, I was talking to you subconsciously", you would never get it. You would never understand. You would never understand the Loneliness I'm feeling right now.
I told you, I love you, in every possible way.

Wasn't given any task today, was delighted that the engineer asked me whether I want to follow him to the site for a visit. So, gleefully I tagged along, what can be better than staying the whole day in the office right?

Apparently, today's not such a good day.

First, the train I was in got delayed for some reason, so I arrived late at work. In order to get to my floor, which is on the 15th, I have to take the elevator, so I had to wait. And my gawd, suddenly everyone comes to work at the same time, and I had to wait like 20 minutes before I actually got shove into the lift.

I arrived 30 minutes late, and the boss mentioned something about punctuality yesterday during the staff meeting. Great.

So, when I was asked to follow to site, I was happily tagging along because I just didn't feel right staying in.

I was so wrong.

I went to the site, had to climb 6 floors, with no proper PPE, in my office attire, and in my leather heels.
Okay, so dead. I had to cross millions of steel rebars, in such attire that I looked like I was walking on thin ice. The contractors stared at me in awe, because I could finally reach the other end of the site, walking slowly. So, when I reached the top, looked at the formworks, stood under the blazing sun, the indonesian workers were probably wondering whether I'm a girl coz I never complain a single word.

So, after the discussions were done, we had to walk all the way, across the million bars of steel rebars, and this time, I stepped on the wrong thing and sprained my ankle. For real. Deep shit.
Not only because I wore heels to the site, but because it didn't help with the fact that my feet size is small and it's a disadvantage. I thought I could limp all the way down, slower than before, but each time I tried to walk, I couldn't balance myself.

Therefore, the next best idea the engineer had in mind, was to carry me all the way down.

Like so embarassing okay. I was so against the idea because one thing, I think he underestimated my weight based on the way I look, and two, I don't want to get us both falling down from the 6th storey.
But there was no other way, unless we want to alert the fire brigade, ambulance to come carry me down, so with one arm, he scooped me, unbalanced for a second, and he carried me down, all the way.



When I reached the ground floor, it was better to walk, because it's flat ground. So, I had to hold onto his arms to walk properly. When the other contractors saw my condition, they said they are gonna customise a safety boot for me, since I have super small feet.

So pampered okay.

Well, safety Boots is a must if we enter the construction site lah.

For lunch, we were both treated, 8-course meal by a concrete supplier. So lucky, sprained ankle also worth it bah! Which is why I love site-visits!

Tell you something horr..

When I see his picture, I thought I would get the feeling of angst. I would feel like I want to slap him non-stop.

But I didn't lor.
No feelings this time.

I also don't know why.

I can't understand why in this world, got such a person. Can be so ugly one. Can look like a freak one.
Can be such an eye-sore.

Seriously okay.?

I don't mind the ugliness lah really, who am I to judge, right? But..but..the character lah. The character emphasias the looks.

Amitabha.

i need a mini storage to dump all the unhappy thoughts in.
lock it with double padded, strapped it down with a chain, and throw it to the sea.
yeah, that would be good. yes, a mini storage of a kind.

Am doing this to "irk" Chongkz..

Love Food pictures, totally..

Claypot Yee Mee



 

 
Sarawak Laksa


Looking at the pictures make me hungry in the middle of the night. Aww~

I miss you. Gawd, I miss you very much.

" We are CarGuyGarage.com and we carry thousands of products to make the garage another room in your house. We'd like to know if there is a garage storage option we currently carry that you need, or if there is a garage storage product you need that we don't carry but should. Give us a call at 800-736-9308 if you have any question on any products we carry.

We're a family run small business with a staff of friends. Please just give us a call with any questions on any products or requests, we're all having fun trying to run an Internet company. "

12.22a.m. and I'm already feeling sleepy?!

What is the world coming to?

Last time hor..this time, I baru wanna get ready, ajak people go mamak. Ever since got 'dragged' to work, I find myself getting more lethargic than the day before.

Gosh, I want to sleep already lah..

This weekend not in KL..



Come back home, means only drink coffee/teh/tong sui only. If drink cocktail and alcohol, memang wanna kena belasah kaw kaw..

This is a little something-something from Yiling, now it's not with me. She's holding onto it, hopefully there's no need to pay ransom to claim them back.

And such little sticks, they provide such massive joy!



Pictures are just for illustration purposes. Nothing to do with what you see.

p/s: How's KL? When you coming home?

"So tell me how you feel (im lonely)
Are you for real (so lonely)
Do you still think of me (i think of you)
Baby still (are you lonely)
Do you dream of me at night
(like i dream of you all the
time, so lonely)
Oh let me tell you how it feels
(its like everyday i die)
Wish i was dreaming but its real
(when i open up my eyes)
Let me tell you how it feels (and
don't see your pretty face)
I think that I will never love again"

The Loneliness-Babyface


The sole reason why you can't seem to find the next right one, is because the first one was just so near to perfection.

Thanks SanNien for downloading stuffs for me, from DC++.
Oh, how I missed the comfort DC++ provides. I miss getting the series, songs, mtvs..etc so quickly, and with no hassle too.
And how we can chat internally, using DC++ whenever Gtalk is down.

Thank you girl. For taking the hassle and effort to download some series for me.

This is us, in Maria's last night. She craved for the chocolate ice-cream. I don't know why.

I'm glad she came all the way to meet me, though she was already in Ipoh with her boyfriend then. But at least, she's the one who came out to meet me, after I told so many people that I'm finally home. *cough-cough*, I'm not pointing fingers to those who didn't come.

Her boyfriend is an Ipohian, but I've never seen him. Lol, and he claimed the same too. Though the two of us thinks we know the whole Ipoh. XP



Good to know another friend. Though he's already taken..cis~. Lol!!

Somemore we went to DIMSUM for breakfast this morning. 9.30 am somemore. Gotta eat everything in Ipoh before going back to horrijible food place.

THANK YOU MAYLEE,

for asking me to join you in a BBQ PARTY for your uni friends.

I was skeptical at first, because I thought I was going to be an "outcast" in a group of UTAR-ians. Later me, UTPian kena belasah how? Lol.
I remember having second thoughts about going, because I got another dinner appointment on the same night. However because I already promised Maylee beforehand, I had to forgo the latter appointment.

But I did not regret a single bit.

When I told her I need to meet more guys in my life, she introduced two to me.

TeckMin, Khian, Simon


One funny thing was, when I found out Simon was from Sitiawan, Perak, I immediately felt a sense of belonging. When Maylee, Joo and TeckMin went to get some BBQ stuffs from Jusco, they left both me and Simon waiting for them. Since I complained that I was hungry, he brought me to a nearby stall to get Pisang Goreng and Cekodok, and the two of us, sat on the curb, and talked. I even told him my personal stuffs, though I barely knew him then. But I guess this has to come with a little fate-lah. And after I found out he's into SLRs, he sensed my interest and let me play with his newly-brought baby. Well, that's something to me, coz I would never let anyone play with mine, if I have one.

When I told Maylee I need to meet new people, she introduced 2 awesome ladies to me.


Khian, MayLee, RuXuan, Joo

and like before, we clicked almost instantly!


"I'm the lightest among the three of them, combined!"


It's party of such kind that the food doesn't have to be very delicious to leave a strong impact. You know the company is what matters.



but what is still fresh in my mind is, the drink that AhJoo made. She said this drink only available in Sarawak, (and she's from Kuching by the way!).
We usually have Soya+Cincau here right, and lately, it's Coffee+Cincau, but she introduced a new kind. Sarsi+Cincau.

The first time all of us heard what she suggested, we were all like, "HAH?!!! WHAT IS THAT?" but now, it seems perfectly normal. And for the record, it tasted awesome. A great combination.

And the first time I sat on a see-saw after finally growing up for good.


I was also introduced to two awesome ladies, from the older generation.

PeiSan, Khian, Ange

Last ones standing.


When the fire stopped burning,

we packed, cleaned up and went to the second "in-house" party, at Simon's.

The second party I like, but I cannot drink much also.

But you know the ones, standing at the verandah, waving to strangers, on the verge of jumping down, are..erm..high..

not saying who...


Amazing night.

with a slight dose of craziness..

oklah..maybe a very big dose of craziness..

but thank You. Thank you for the great night.

And did I tell you, the party did not end with a high note? Simon brought us, the girls to ChowKit road, at 3am, to see Ah Guas?

So dangerous okay?

You know you are in good company when the minute your bum land on the Kopitiam's stool, you cracked yourself up but making yourself look like a fool, in front of your own friends. But it's always good to be the 'clown', because at least you know, these people enjoy your presence. You don't have to fake yourself because you know these people probably don't care about how much $ you have in your Kauffman wallet, or how high your IQ is, or whether you are some Tan Sri, Dato's daughter. All they want is just a good conversation, and a good laugh.

At the end of the night, all we want is just a belly full of coffee, tea, or juice, and barrels of laughters which came with all that.

Many commented that I've changed ever since I've started my internship. I guess when you face working people and the people who are still studying, you tend to change. Changes are inevitable. I hope it's for the better. Not the opposite way around.

But I love, being back home. In Ipoh, everyone's family. People are more friendly, they smile to you, even if you are a total stranger. And that's good. It feels warm here.

Found this in my picture album. Oooooo boooyy..
 


This was taken, almost a year ago. How much I've grown..and for her, welll...no comments..!

Car accident, on the first day of Chinese New Year.

I longed to see you. It's so hard to catch you these days.
Somehow things just ain't that smooth for me. I miss you.
Catched a glimpse of you today, just felt like holding you all of a sudden. But it was raining so heavily. And I missed the chance to talk to you, again.
Gosh..

First day of the Lunar New Year.

Like the year before and the year before-before and the year before-before, we did the same thing every year. Going back to my grandparent's for breakfast, and we have vegetarian in the morning. Hang around for a while, then went over to my granduncle's place which is a stone's throw away from grandpa's. The same thing, people tend to compare their kids. Over and over again.

So when someone mentioned that I've become prettier, it was probably out of courtesy. Blah!
( although I would choose to believe it's deep down sincere! XP )

After that, we went to my uncle's (mum's side). And there, I would meet ALMOST everyone from my mum's side.

This year is different. My cousin sis who came all the way back from Sydney, kept asking us to drink. That's in broad daylight alright. So I had 4 Bacardi+Coke, at 2 in the afternoon.

I came home, got a quick rest.
Dinner at grandparent's.

Then went out to meet with my cousins in Kopitiam.

I think this is the first time we actually took pictures together.
We used to be pretty distant when we were younger. Or I was rather the passive one in the family.
But thing has definitely took a different toll ever since.


Adrian, Gillian, Khian



Khian, Ah Chu, Adrian, Gillian



Isabelle (is actually my cousin niece), Pauline, Ah Chu, Adrian, Gillian, Khian, Ah Lek
These are from mum's sidelah. All grown up.

After yumcha, met up with my aunt. Then went to Yeolde English, met up with so many people whom I don't really know. They were mostly from the people I knew from high school days. From Maziah tuition.
And gawd, I just knew this girl from AMC last night, and the first thing she said was, "Hey, you're AngKhian right? I don't think you know me, but I heard alot about you from Eewan. Nice knowing you now by the way!"

Gosh..Ipoh's really small weh.
and I have this friend, whom I don't even remember talking to, said, "Eh, I know you. We went to the same tuition together. Maziah right? I saw you on facebook before."


But it was a good night. After yumcha in Yeolde English, went over to Salam's to meet up with Ma Hoi Leong (Yoke Yee's boyfriend) and all his non-prospects friends. Damn. Should have hang around in Yeolde English longer. I just met someone worth investing!

Been trying to accomodate everyone. All the plans in the world, and I try to fit them all. Sometimes I think I need to learn the art of splitting myself up. Into a couple of pieces. It's easier that way.

I love a nice yumcha session, no matter how loud we get. It doesn't have to be over booze that we get all loud and un-lady-like. In fact, over a glass of white coffee, we managed to take the whole kopitiam down. Well, that makes me wonder what do they have in the coffee, besides caffienne.
I'm sorry if I have to choose some crowds over the other, but nevertheless, I try to accomodate everyone. I just don't want to miss every gathering, (because I know how my absence would affect the mood! XP)

Got a text when I was out tonight. In usual nights, that would get me all pumped up, but tonight, I couldn't simply leave my friends because of one text. The priority would always be for you, but I couldn't help but to think that I am just there, to fill in the empty slot. Maybe, I think too much.

很想不要在想那么多。我可能真的舍不得你。

I already know what it is gonna be. But sometimes, things just got a way to play with your feelings. As much as I really want to see you, I just want to make sure that you wanted to see me, because you want to, and not because you have no plans at all.

"Happy Chinese New Year"

CNY Day 3.

You finally called. Saw you, though for a brief moment, but I'm contented. You looked good. I'm glad.
I can't tell you how much I've been missing you. Wanted to give you a big hug, but I'm scared. :\
Not really an expressive person, and I don't take risks in the things I do. But I'm happy you called. I do.

Taking a one sec break. Came for shower ONLY.
Going out in 5 minutes, again.


Sign of how much you really want to meet up with someone:
The first person who crosses your mind when you wake up in the middle of the night, feeling hungry.

I can't stop thinking of you-lah.

Your call came, I left everything aside.
Supposedly doing the annual income-generating, and I texted you halfway.I asked whether you had plans tonight, but there was no reply. I waited, then 4 texts came at the same time. Fucked up Maxis, screwed up line.
I saw, your text. Send at the same time when I send mine to you.
Nothing big, for some reasons, I felt different.

You said you were hungry, so I left the session to come eat with you.
My heng dai said "You ah, always girl first, only bro."
I felt so bad, leaving the friends behind. But I had to.

Fled to the place, to meet you. Saw you walking towards me in the car park. Felt jitters.
You seem so perfect. I said, seem.
I enjoyed eating with you, even when I don't feel like eating when you are around. Coz I can't do anything proper with you by my side.

When you left, you took the sunshine away too.
I have no idea when would be the next time I see you. I dare not make plans.
Two times disappointment is enough already. I learned.
I told you, I would wait for your call instead.

Silly eh? Waiting for by the phone's side, 24-7 for someone's call. Abandoning everything you do just to spend a little time with you. I'm silly, but I don't know why. I hope you can tell me why instead.

Just realized I aged alot. Lol. That would definitely happen if you hang out with people, older than you, everyday. Lol.

And I have sepet eyes. Gosh.

Tonight's the last night to do house-visiting, in Ginn Yit's. It's practically a tradition. Then after that, it's a slow-down for me, coz I want to have sufficient rest before heading back to (sien!) work.

I hung up the phone tonight,
Something happened for the first time,
Deep inside it was a rush, what a rush,
Cause the possibility that
You would ever feel the same away about me,
It’s just too much, just too much
Why do I keep running from the truth,
All I ever think about is you
You got me hypnotized, so mesmerized,
And I just got to know

Do you ever think, when you’re all alone,
All that we can be, where this thing can go,
Am I crazy or falling in love,
Is it real or just another crush
Do you catch a breath, when I look at you,
Are you holding back, like the way I do,
Cause I’m tryin’, tryin’ to walk away
But I know this crush aint’ goin’ away, goin’ away

2 more days left.
Sob.
Trying to get used without having you around.

Texted you.
Didn't get a reply, felt disappointed.
Then my phone vibrated. At 2 in the morning.

"Hey, what you doing? Open the door. I'm outside your house."

"Hah, you serious? You sure?"

"Yeah lah. Open lah."

Saw your face, I'm glad. You came. Though I'm not sure of the reason, but you came. And I get to see you.

We looked at my photo albums. We both changed alot. Pretty much.
You were close. I wanted you to be.

What would happen if I slide my hand around your waist? Would you be surprised?
Or would you push my hand away?

I did not take any chances. I don't want to jeopardize what we have.

40 minutes later, I send you out. We chatted a little. And then you had to leave.

A hug. A kiss on the cheek.
Out of formality.
But I love you for it. You did exactly what I wouldn't do, because I am scared.

Seeing you in my room, wish I can keep you in my pocket. That would be great.

I need a miracle.
I wished I had the guts to tell you I want to see you.
But I guess, miracles don't happen twice.

As of 2.20 am, miracles do happen.
You came. And we talked.

Just wished that I had the guts to hold you tightly.

CNY Day 6 - Oliven's for dinner.

More pictures tomorrow.

So near, yet so terribly far. Missing you already.