Less than 18 hours left, and deducting.
You don't seem eager to see me, I wonder why. It's my last day in Ipoh. Our last time of meeting. Don't know when I would be seeing you the next time. Won't you miss me?
Well, I know I do. And I will.

The time doesn't matter anymore.
I didn't say it in the end. You left the door. I could only see you drove away.
I wished I had the guts. I just didn't know how to say it.
If only I could turn back the time. If only.
I would tell you. I really would.

I don't think I'm addicted to drinking or smoking. A casual drinker, I am.
But I have friends who have problems with drinking..and recently, I found out, a couple of them who can't seem to quit smoking.
I've done most of the "sinful" acts, and this is not a confession alright? All I can say is, it's good if you've tried, and better if you know when to pull out. I mean, we are all young adults, and it's alright to fool around with your health abit, but when the time comes, it's better to pull your legs out from the hole.
If you have a problem with drinking, it's best if you go to an alcohol rehab. Besides alcohol addiction, Promises offer treatments of other addictions as well.  
Stop before it's too late.

Heated texts argument last night.

This morning, everything seems fine again.

I have certain expectations. And you, too, I presumed. 

You make my head spun. You make my heart skip a beat.
You are everything that I think I would need.

I think.

Don't leave without me. Bring me along.

Trying hard not to think about things..

POST CNY-SYNDROME
It doesn't matter if you are heading to work, or dragging your ass to lectures, I bet all of you are feeling the same way as me too.

And as of tomorrow, I'm proud to be a Perak-ian.
It's the Sultan's Silver Jubilee celebration and the 3rd Feb is a public holiday for the entire state of Perak. And just because I'm currently based in KL, I have no privillege of obtaining the public holiday.

Wei, working in KL also Perak-ian okay? Working in KL also proud of our Sultan Perak. C'mon, Sultan Azlan Shah has been the Perak Sultan since I was born okay? Come on, salute!
and just because I work in KL, I cannot go home celebrate the Silver Jubilee because no holiday given to a Perak-ian working in KL.

Cis, benar!

And the summer fling has ended, officially. *in-tears*

Sore throat suddenly.
Falling sick. I'm not used to the KL air.
:|

Hardest thing to do to you: Say goodbye.

Simplest thing to do to you: Make you mine.

Only thing to do to you: Wish you well, see you  leave.

Goodbye. Safe flight. You would be remembered always.

Was trying to choose a "goodbye" card in Memory Lane. Took me a good couple of minutes, to glance through what was available. I took the effort to read every card, and the messages contained in each and every card, but none, NONE!! *thunder-lightning effect* could describe my feelings in the correct words.

Maybe that's the reason why personalised cards are always the best, but my creativity is just as limited as my Engineering skills. I would just have to make do with what the market has to offer.

I was in a hurry, to meet with a friend, but I didn't want my time limitation to cause me to buy a card which doesn't contain what I have to say. So, I settled for one.

"Goodbye, and do keep in touch."

That's the next best thing I want her to know. That even though it's goodbye, but we have gotta keep in touch, for old time's sake.

And that aside, I managed to meet up with a group of my coursemates who are pretty much scattered everywhere in this big city.


Munirah, Yasmin, Zareina, Khian


Yeah, I'm no racist okay? I mix well, with every colour.
It was a brief catching up, because I was occupied with a dinner date, and when you are standing in the middle of nowhere, talking loud and laughing louder is not a very nice scene. So, we promised to meet on a weekend, at least then, we won't be tied down with work commitments the following day.

On the way home, taking the train, it started to pour. In one hand, I have my iPod, but in the other, I was holding the card tightly.
Nowhere was I going to cramp something so delicate into my sling bag, so I had to hold it in my hands. Thank goodness the switch from Masjid Jamek's Putra to Starline was dry.
I embarked on the train, to meet a friend whom I knew from the train rides. She was surprised to catch me at such a late hour, because we only meet during the mornings. So, a brief chatting..and then as we arrived at the station, I took out my jacket to get ready.

She said, "Eh, so fast get ready already? Wear jacket d ah?"

I nodded. Instead of wearing the jacket, I tucked the card gently under the jacket, to shield it from the rain.

"Wei, are you out of your mind? It's pouring so heavily. Put the card in the bag-lah!", she said.

Obviously all I had in mind was to save the card, not myself. I can wait, but the card can't.

It did rain, like nobody's business. My mistake for not bringing my umbrella along too, but it's okay.
I reached my condo, to find that one of my housemates was going to open her mouth to (obviously!) ask something, to which I quickly answered her, "Don't start."

I was drenched. From top to toe.
And the card, it's on the table now. Waiting for me to write something. And yeah, it's dry.

Most of my friends asked, whether it's worth it. Worth what I'm doing.
Don't ask me. I really don't know. But I know if I don't do it, I'm going to look back and ask myself why not.

Went to see the doctor last night. Thank goodness Gillian was free to bring me around, so off we went to Sri Hartamas's clinic to consult a doctor. Well, we had dinner together, with Katherine in Raku Zen, Plaza Hartamas, so after dropping Katherine, we went to see the doctor. I didn't think that my sickness would prolong, and even though I did plan to take MC on Friday for personal reasons, yet this sickness couldn't have come in a better time, when the doctor checked my throat and confirmed that it's in bad shape, I think my prayers were answered. Oklah, it's very wrong, but I really wanted the MC badly.

Thought I could get some early rest before hitting the train station this morning, when Gillian said we would meeting some of her friends for yumcha. Well, at that period of time, I was feeling alright, so I agreed. We met in Kota Damansara with her friends whom I knew barely, online. And then, the whole thing started.

"Let's play MahJong, ok?"

Heck, I don't know how to play okay, and I worked the whole day. but because I didn't want to be a party-pooper, I stayed to watch the game. And for whatever reasons, I got sucked into this "mindless-mahjong" game, that when we left the friend's place, it was already 4.40am.

Just in time to cross to the opposite side of the road for mamak breakfast.

By that time, my throat was already swollen, and my voice was gone, totally.

I reached home, about 5.30, only enough to catch a 40-minutes nap before having to wake up, pack and to meet my dad for breakfast. 40 minutes, and I amazed myself. The voice was still missing.

I took the train home this time, and I love the ride. The 3-hour journey gave me a 'pause' of my life, just sitting back and think what's there to be thought of. I thought of the words to write in the card, and how you would react when you see what I would be giving you..etc.

I just want to go home and see you.

YokeYee was kind enough to fetch me from the train station for lunch. That's not interesting.
By 3, I had to rush home, to get the card ready, with the cds burned by YokeYee to you.

Seeing you, holding the cds, you don't seem excited at all. Maybe you thought it was something more valuable. I don't know..but if that's what you want, I would nevertheless find the effort to do it for you. I hope you like the cds and the card.

More news tonight.

人生有多少个七年？

I wrote this in the card.
Well of course, it was in English. Not many would understand chinese characters.
But I've always felt that the effect of saying certain phrases in Cantonese/Mandarin is greater than spilling them out in English.

It's 12.03am now, in less than 7 hours, someone's pushing off to KL to board the plane.
And here I am, waiting for a text.

The card sent, was not being applied with any sort of hope in return. But maybe, I was only lying to myself. I somehow, subconsciously, hoped that something positive might result in this. From a card.

I'm waiting for any sort of text, maybe telling me that you feel the same way too. Or that you don't feel the same way. Or you didn't read the card at all. Anything. At least I need to know that my efforts were not wasted somehow.

I asked too much, huh?

Guess who's back in Lil' Ipoh?


HwanJean and Khian in Oldtown Kopitiam (Feb '09)

Couldn't have come home anytime better! She said somethings which people had told me, ages ago.
But reality seeps in pretty harsh, from her mouth.



Khian and HwanJean (July '08)

Have we both changed?

She said, "Don't. Don't start. You can't afford the heart ache."

I'm glad she's matured in a way. Telling me things that I know but refused to act on it.


So, you're gonna leave soon. In 7 hour's time. You're probably spending the last moment in Ipoh, catching up with your family. Or doing last minute packing.
But what I really want, is you to text me something. At least let me know that I'm a friend in your circle of life.

HwanJean added, "Whoa, this is the first time I see you so serious ge wor.."

Hahha..Kids!

不讲不代表没想，
不哭不代表不伤心，
不要想不代表不会想。

On a Saturday night, here I am. Having a thermometer stuck in my mouth.

My body temperature keeps rising, every single minute.
And the throat, is killing me.

I need to get back to the medication.

I guess, I am just going to go and lie on my back now, and hopefully when the sun comes up tomorrow, everything's going to be fine.   

p/s: We'll see how long this lasts.

I wonder how many of you still read the horoscopes?

Everyday I flip through the papers, the first part of the newspaper (besides the headlines!) would be the horoscopes section. Everyday, I read the tiny phrases and try to relate it to things that have happened or would happen on the same day.

I recalled a friend saying, "Aiyaa, they write so many things, sure one day will kena one..!"

Hmm..I guess so. That no one knows what the future lies. Not even the horoscope who some believes in.

Maybe, for some of us, we tend to rely on a little bit of hope. And if the horoscope has something good to say, we tend to believe that it's gonna happen.

We are silly human, aren't we?

On an unrelated note, I'm posting this two pictures here, because these people can't seem to get the pictures send through MSN.

Khian and KamWah at '09

Khian and Kyean at '09


The funny thing is after taking pictures with these two, someone made comments about the photos.

Khian+KamWah = Heng dai

Khian+Kyean = Ji Mui

Wei, not my fault I possess a manly look as well as a womanly figure, alright?


Well, jokes aside, it's a Sunday, and my phlegm has thicken and became yellowish!
Still have the husky voice, so if anyone wants phone sex, you know my number!

am not depressed alright? People should just quit thinking I'm under depression or something.

I'm ALRIGHT. pretty much. aside from the medication that I'm forced to take, my voice is pretty much lost in the midst of everything.

I'm okay, you guys should just chill for a sec.
 

Record breaking news: Arrived in KL from Ipoh, in 2 hours and 40 minutes. And that's with my Kancil ok?

Chap Goh Mei dinner with Mel, in Bangsar. Simple chinese food. CHEAP.
Just didn't want to have dinner alone tonight.

Can't seem to get the flight tickets. Either it's too expensive, or it's freaking expensive.
I really want to go! Omg.

For the record, blind dates are a big no-no to me. The last two was erm...quite freakish..:S

Spotted, lonely girl sitted on a huge rock, in Siloso Island, Singapore.

No idea what's in her mind.

She's just waiting, silently, by the rock. And one day, hopefully, she sees you.

Was chatting online with ShiouTing during working hours.

Okay, you can stop giving me that look. I know it's unethical to be chatting online during office hours, but how are we supposed to pass time if we don't do so?

Work has been pretty slow for me, ever since the Chinese New Year.
Maybe tomorrow onwards, I have to be more proactive?

Anyway, both ShiouTing and I think that our life back in campus is more happening.
Now, even though smacked at the centre of entertainment, we hardly find the time to meet and travelling is a hassle.

Sigh, we missed those days, really.



If we wanna meet, we can just message one another on GTALK and we can always meet almost instantly! Or we just leave a big PERSONAL TAGLINE on GTALK like "Civilians, get ready! Mamak, jom!" or something the similar effect.

Now, we have to plan beforehand, and call people to join. And you know how we don't like planning?

On a happier note, dinner (finally!) with Ed and Mel in Canton-i.
It's like we were friends from a very long time, because you know you enjoy a company when you are in one.
Looking forward to meeting Ed again.

And...finally, it's confirmed! Flying in July. *beams*

You make my heart goes dup dap dup dap...

I told you that my flight tickets are confirmed, you seem more excited than I am. Joy!
I talked to you online this morning, you made my day.
Although we were both sarcastic to one another, I know this is a way to show our care for each other. And I love you for that.

I thought today couldn't get any better, when I received a misscall from you, at 10.30pm. Your time, is probably 2 in the morning.
You told me earlier that you are freezing in the cold weather. Summer but cold. Wish I was there to do something to warm you up..but I can't. Distance is our problem.

We talked. About the weather. About your work. About your schedule.
I was stunned that you called, I didn't know what to say.
My cough is getting worst by the day.

I miss you. We hung up after 10 minutes of conversation. I wonder what's wrong with you. The sudden call. I'm worried. I am.
If you are reading this, you know you can tell me anything.

I love you, for whatever reason there is.

For the singles, for the doubles, for the lonely, for the desperates, for the people who's just like me.

Valentines Day is pretty dreadful. It's the day which reminds you how single you are, and all the other 364 days of you being grateful for the freedom singlehood offers, suddenly the 14th highlights the fact that maybe, being double is much happier.

I don't know much about V-day. Especially this year, when I'm pretty much "one", there's no point celebrating eh?

However, lunch on a Friday with ShiouTing was awesome. She took the KTM, a station away to come meet me, not to mention the amount of walking done. I "heart" you, alright? Please don't fall for me. Hehhe.

We had the most expensive lunch during our working lives. RM35 for set lunch, at The Ship.
Don't play play ok, RM35 is almost 1/10 of my pay alright. Sob! But it's okay, money like these cannot be saved.
Must use- must use!

Sorry no picture of food because we only realized that we forgot to take pictures, when almost finishing our food. So yeah.

Bear comes complimentary with the set lunch.

It was a wonderful Pre-Valentines lunch. Even though it's with your course mate. Have to learn to appreciate..hehe..

So, yeah. Sucks you are not around. Would have told you, "I love you, Happy Valentines day!" *kiss on the cheeks*
So, if you read this, now you know yeah?

*Hugs!*

Text message sent at 5.54pm, Malaysia time:

"Happy Valentines Day..,lots of love, all the way from home!"


Text message received at 10.20pm, Malaysia time:

"Happy Valentines Day to you all the way from Melbourne too! Love ya big big..!"

And no, we are not in any sort of relationship. Far from that. Commitment takes more than a few of "I love yous" and "I miss yous". But am glad that, somehow, this is the second time I've given serious thoughts about things. Well, erm, things of such.

Well, motto in life at the moment: Let things fall naturally. If things were meant to be, things will. I've waited for more than 7 years now, what's another 10 years right?

If you were one of the people who sulked and stayed at home during Valentines Day, and lashed out harshful comments on how Valentines day is just a big O scam, well, grow up!
I kinda figured if I can't beat the crowd, I might as well join them right?

I was in Midvalley the whole day, did a couple of things, and in my mind, was thinking about you. All the way from home. Clingy? Yeah. Lovely? Yeah. Love you? Erm..*blush*

So, am gonna write about Midvalley tomorrow when this sleep-deprieved AngKhian catches up with her lost sleeping hours. And just so everyone knows, I've lost my voice AGAIN, the cough is still terrible and throat is very sore this time. Have mercy on me please! I can feel the lungs and throat, burning in misery.

Anyway, story at Midvalley can wait, but story of this cute thingies can't.



Last year, during my trip to KL with the friends, I bought myself this (pic above!) from Memory Lane. Cute eh?



and it became my companion in bed ever since.

However, since I'm based in KL at the moment, I've left it at home, safely tucked, to jaga my bed, in case my brother decides to terrorize my room in my absence.
So you could probably imagine how wild I went when I saw the bigger version of it in MPH in Bangsar...



I was like, "Mel..mel!! take picture..fast fast!! fast! take picture..!!"

and obviously she always roll her eyes whenever I mengada, which is like what.., once in a couple of years?

Tsk. Days like these, I would blame it on my lack of self control.
I nearly make a mistake today, but nevertheless, I had a great time today.
Thanks for lunch, and chocolates.

Friends been saying I've been taken for granted. Well, I'm seeing the positive side, of everything.

14th Feb, that's when all the singles mingled!

It's alright to be single (well, as for ShiouTing, she's PARTIALLY single at the moment!) so she can just join the bandwagon.

About a week ago, we had this meet-up planned, because since we've came to KL to work, we've never met up with one another, and Valentines' might just be the right time to do so, since we believed that most of us are single.
It was quite a hassle for both ShiouTing and I, mostly her, to do all the texting and calling, to gather the numbers, and on the day itself, the two of us had to reach Midvalley Mall earlier to queue and get the movie tickets.

Well, it's something we believed that people ought to appreciate the hassle we went through to gather the crowd.

And, it's been almost 4 weeks since the girls last met up.



Am glad that despite all the kind of hecticness we have, people still take the time to travel and meet up.

Lunch in Kim Gary's, was noisy. I think we freaked some people out. Should remind one of us to bring along the UTP banner next time when we hang out in big groups. At least, we warned the public that we are there to bring the house down.
(What? Civil Engineers are there for a reason you know?)


Civil Engineers down to 4!


It took us about 30 minutes to settle down and finally order our food. One thing about Kim Gary is their order forms. So confusing. And the menus. What is this? 3-4 pieces of menu..can't they just fit everything into one? Like that's not bad enough, there were also 3-4 different order forms. So confusing ok?

We had to catch Slumdog Millionaire at 2, so we quickly hurried eating and rushed to the cinema. Earlier when both of us purchased the movie tickets, ShiouTing was worried that maybe some of them would not be able to accept an Indian movie, Indian casts, Indian director but English Script. However, with good reviews, especially ever since KahLing recommended it to me, I assured her that it was probably a good movie.

And boy, was it good. The way the movie depicted India, I love the scenes. And the music used for each scene. Coincidentally, one of my friends who was also watching the same movie with us then, has to go to Mumbai in March for business. He probably has 2nd thoughts now. Yeah, Ching Shearn?

After movie, everyone has to leave for home. Some to celebrate Valentines with Girlfriends, some to celebrate Valentines with Boyfriends..some, like me..had to go find Mel.


Kenneth, ShiouTing, Khian, YewTeng

Why, I wonder how someone spend his Valentines Day in Italy..hmm...I sensed a tinge of envy all the way from Italy!



Guys, I know some of you are silent readers, for whatever reasons..so if you are reading this, we SHOULD always try to meet up, at least ONCE A MONTH! to rekindle the spirit of UTP! Lol. Such a lame excuse to come out and play, no?
And Ian, I wanna go clubbing lah!

The cough dragged for 3 weeks now, to date. Dad pestering me to get a blood test to see whether something's wrong. I don't have the time to do so, but hopefully the cough will be gone soon. The voice gone missing twice, in 2 weeks, the fact is pretty scary. Imagine waking up one day, and suddenly the world can't hear your voice! What would the world become? So quiet okay?

My sv sat down with me today, to mark my logbook. 11 weeks worth of log book. Marked at one go. I love him sooooo much.
He actually asked me, "Eh, so your supervisor is coming right? How? What you want me to say? How to give grading ah? 5 okay?"

I told him usually the interns would grade their own log book, so if he wants to give 3-4 for one certain week, it's okay. It's more realistic.

And then, this is the part where I love him comes.
"Cannot lah. If I give you one 4, then your friends get 5, you will lose out!", says he.

I lap you, Paul! Lap you soooo much.

And for the 20 minutes, we sat there in the meeting room, talking like brothers and sisters. Work is abit hectic today, though I spend the morning talking to Yeesan and Ian about the way I dress. So gonna shop for new clothes this coming weekend！ ><

"Khian, you do silly things for people who don't do silly things for you at all.."

Only lately, I find myself attending to someone's bidding. Whenever there's a call, I'm expected to be all hands and knees waiting, and this is not something my friends would enjoy seeing me doing.
Doing someone's bidding, is not something I'd enjoy but if you need help, I figured that the best I can do, as a friend is to be there. Whenever possible.

I can be all there for you, but whenever I felt I took the time to tend to your needs, you never appreciate what I've done. Why? I'm getting tired of excuses given. Don't take someone for granted, because my patience has a limit. And for someone whom I barely knew, I've done way beyond the limits.

Pictures above taken when I was 21.

Boy, I missed those days when I don't have to give a fuck about how I act, how I talk, how I bring myself in the public.
Boy, have I grown up so much!

Today's bit different. Work seems fine.
When I came home, I waited for you to come online.
I waited.
And then we fought. I'm sorry.

***

Someone on the train mentioned:
:: I look like I'm in my late twenties, talk like I'm in my early thirties, play like I was just born.

I am not going to ask anyone whether am I good looking anymore.
:: Pfft..I don't believe all your answers! blek!

Ask about my health condition.
I can tell you it's worst than yesterday. The cough doesn't seem to want to leave. And this itchiness in my throat, it's unbearable. I've tried any sort of medication, and even, as suggested by a Cameroon friend to chew on ginger, the cough doesn't seem to want to go. And it's giving me a major migraine at times, and the lungs are gasping for air.

Let's talk about how I'm feeling at the moment.

I'm feeling lower than dirt. I just realized I meant nothing to someone. Not even a friend. Little actions do potray how much you value someone. And seeing how things are, I'm very disappointed. I don't know what to say because I'm not in the position to do so. So, I'm just gonna move on, and let you use me. What I have for you, is so significant to me, but to you, I'm not even someone that's worth mentioning. Just great.

I'm just gonna cough myself to death.

Yes, I am fine.
I think I need to do a lung transplant real soon.
Dad thinks I am gonna have a heart failure. *touch wood!*

p/s: Whoa, gorgeous. You look so. *wink!*

captivated by your smiles.
amazed with what your face can become in seconds.
one minute you look like a statue, flawless; the next you flash me the smile.
drawn slowly...
too bad I'm not gonna be here long, or else I'd have pumped in effort.
Your smiles are just too captivating.
You are flawless. I want you.
But I can't.

p/s: Can you spend the entire day texting a stranger who keeps calling you 'dear'?

I am here, for a brief moment.
(An hour later, I'm probably roaming the streets.)

Been out last night, to meet up with someone that I barely knew.
It turned out that we had a great conversation despite the age factor. Been meeting loadsa new people lately, and that's where the problem comes. Shall write more about that, later. I need to catch up with the loss of sleep (deprieved, you see!) coz I woke up like trizillion times last night; coughing, spitting my phlegm, and in the end, I got myself a new body temperature.

:: You make me go crazy, just by staring into your eyes ::

p/s: You, in Melbourne, take care. *Hugs*

It's a Saturday.
And here I am, sitting in front of my computer.
Couldn't find something to do, couldn't go home to Ipoh.

I thought of skipping breakfast and lunch, then just jump straight to dinner with Yiling. But I couldn't. The medicine CLEARLY stated "Take 10 mL once, 3 times a day, AFTER MEAL". We don't want to go risking that, do we?

I woke up this morning, realizing that I didn't do justice enough for last night's supper. No, not the usual mamak supper in mind. In fact, quote Ivan, "Jogoya is the rich kids' mamak place!" , and true, I saw many youngsters, walking in and out, last night. For RM78, this place is definitely fit for rich kids.

I've been there once, paid a whoping RM101.80, for dinner. So, I think when I agreed to go with them for supper, I probably lost my senses. But I guess, something about 50% for VIP card holders tempted me to go instead.

I was out with..

Bearers of Chromosome XY

To be honest, this is the weirdest combination group ever. We don't really talk much back in campus, definitely not the same clan with the same mindset. I was the only Civilian, and gosh, and the only girl. I was in a dangerous state last night, but ah, I'm here today, so I was fine!

I arrived at Starhill quite early, (see? the difference between guys from UTP and guys outside?). I had to kill some time, so I walked across to Pavillion to see what's new in town. Yeah, the only thing I know is that I've burned way too many holes in my pocket, so it was a window shopping at a glance. Left Pavillion after 15 minutes because the temptation was too great. Contemplated with either a Starbucks Frap or a stick of ciggy; I chose the latter. Cheaper and I had them in hands already. So, took a couple of puffs, while standing in front of Lecca Lecca, reminded me of the time I enjoyed myself there. Too bad, no pictures were taken then.

The boys finally came, so we entered Jogoya. Food was, expected, the same. I lose my appetite. No pictures of food because, they are nowhere tempting. Grabbed myself 3 baby coconuts to quench my thirst and hopefully I didn't smell of Marlboro.

Coming out with the boys, made me realized that guys, actually don't like taking pictures. Well, all except for KeeHui. But then again, he probably got used to camwhoring with the girls' presence. ><



After supper, we went for a walk downtown to Bukit Bintang. It was around 12 then. Not in the mood to walk, the weather was hot. I was sweating all over.

I did enjoy myself last night. Not because of the food definitely. I'm glad I made it.

Thanks to Ian, who held the VIP card and gave us all 50% discounts.


Was laughing badly (and coughing as well!) to see Ching Shearn all drunk because they took loads of redwine since it's free! . My god, see, how well behaved I was. Took a sip and immediately pronounced it the worst wine ever passed my lips. So all I had for drinks were Jasmine Green Tea and 3 baby coconuts! Yum~

And that was last night's news.

Today was abit slow for me. I went to Sri Petaling, initially to have KFC for lunch. Wanted to go to McD for the RM 5.95 lunch, but lazy to go all the way to Endah Parade, so I went to Sri Petaling instead. Parked my car in front of KFC and then walked all the way to have dimsum instead. My appetite swings worst than my mood. Gosh. Had dimsum, alone.

Then, that was how it started.

It dawned upon me that how lonely I was. In the midst of everything, suddenly I felt very much alone. Just for instance, when I woke up this morning, to find that no one has left me calls/texts to meet up, I felt helpless. That I stayed in bed for another 4 hours. I saw couples, having dimsum for lunch, saw families all over me, enjoying the dumplings, and groups of friends enjoying tea. I was there, alone.

Suddenly I got worried that what if, 5 years down the line, I'm still gonna sit alone, having my meals. I missed home. I missed my family. And I missed you. I missed everything. I've been single for almost a year now. And am pretty much single, just pretty emotionally attached to someone, but that still makes me single. And I thought, what if I was in a long distance relationship. That would pretty much be saddening as well.

I pity those who are caught in one.
Not that I'm there to judge, but imagine what if you have someone, but he/she's not beside you all the time. And you've gotta go through everything on your own, even though you have that someone. So difficult.

That dimsum lunch made me realized that how much, sometimes, I wished I have someone to share some things with me.



I'm just going to lie down now. Hopefully this state of "depression" would go after a good rest.

p/s: I even went to The Store alone, after lunch. Alone. As I passed by Poh Kong, I wanted to go in, to do a double piercing on my ears. Funny eh? Should I do it?

It's a Sunday, and here I am; trying to kill some time. Gonna catch a movie soon, with Maylee. It's a Post-Valentine date, so well, urm yeah.
Anyway, since I have like about an hour to kill (that's 60 minutes yeah..), and after giving it some thought, I might as well do the tag.

25 things you should know about me.

1. I do not come from a rich family. I don't know why I seem to give that kind of impression to people, but yeah, now you know.

2. Judging from the way I spend, and the food I eat, and the places I go, you can immediately identify me as a "life-enjoyer" (if there's such a term!). I try to do as many things to keep myself happy or else I would already die of depression a long time ago.

3. I do not have vision about how my future would be, and that's pretty scary. Ask me what do I see myself in 5 years, well, urm..actually I don't even know what's going to happen to me tomorrow. Get the picture?

4. I'm not a drinker, though again, I give people the impression that I am one. No, I don't fancy drinking, and I've been stressing that like gazzillion times. And I've recently picked up a little puffing, well, that's pretty harmless.

5. I contradict myself, at times. Like for example, I know I'm gaining weight, but then, that doesn't mean I would go on a crash diet or simply don't eat at all. No, I don't do that. In fact, coming from Ipoh, the only thing I love doing, besides..*censored*, would be eating.

6. I do not say NO. Or maybe I should say I don't know how to. Not even when it goes against my principles (which now, I doubt I have any.)

7. I love driving. I enjoy doing that with the loud music. It gives me peace. Yeah, so weird eh?

8. I think I'm a lil westernized. I was not brought up in Malaysia, so a part of me somehow still live abroad!

9. I hate it whenever people look at me for the first time, they talk to me in either Mandarin or Cantonese. For some reasons, I find that very insulting. Usually, whenever I get that, I would reply them in English. There was once, I did that, and even told the poor boy I had no idea what he was talking about.

10. I have no sexual preference when it comes to finding my life partner. Whatever goes.

11. I am thinking of settling down, at the age of 22.

12. I am a people person. I can't do Engineering where it requires a lot of calculations, brain work. I need to do something like PR or Psych or...to get human contact. But I'm afraid to come out from the circle. Not especially when I'm so close to getting my Engineering degree.

13. I am emotionally weak though I potray a strong outlook.

14. I am avianphobic. Google it if you don't already know. And I don't fancy animals as well.

15. Oh, I just realized I don't have much fashion sense. Keep seeing the same type of clothes in my wardrobe. The only difference? The colours.

16. Of all the games I've played, I definitely enjoyed Badminton and Netball the most. For netball, it's the teamwork which amazes me. I missed high school so much because everytime there's PE class, it's netball time!

17. I'm very impulsive in the things I do and the decisions I made.

18. At the age of 22, I still don't know what talents I possess. And that's pretty frustrating.

19. I cannot be left alone. So, you either often see me have my ears plugged with my iPod, or you see me surrounded by a group of people. Leave me alone, and I would get lost in my thoughts.

20. I have a weak spot for people (especially those who I like) and some use that to their advantage. I hate it when I know I'm being used yet I always give in.

21. I can never get pissed with people for more than a day. I usually try to patch things as quick as possible, to avoid getting to bed feeling all messed up. I want to wake up to a brand new day.

22. I have very high expectations towards my life partner. Certain qualities, which explains WHY I'M STILL SINGLE AT 22 IN KL!

23. I sometimes regret for the things I've done, or decisions I've made, or the words I've uttered, which inflicted pain, directly or indirectly to people. Impulsive, and down right brainless I know.

24. I think my circle of friends is too large, so much so whenever I have problems, I find it difficult to find THE ONE to share my problems with. So, the solution is to talk to everyone!

25. I secretly miss home at times. Am homesick as well.


So there, 25 random facts about me. I have thoughts about extending this to maybe, urm 50? and post this in a note in Facebook. And take revenge to those who tagged me earlier!! ><
    

It sucks to be the one waiting for text replies.
I wished sometimes, I can play the cool card as well.

-drats!!-

Anyhoo, movie with Maylee today, for Post-Valentines. The Curse of Benjamin Button in KLCC. And guess who I saw working part time behind the counters for TGV, KLCC? Lol, better not get her into trouble! And what was supposed to be a harmless movie day, turned out to be a short shopping spree with the two of us forked out about RM300 each. Gosh. Next time, Maylee, please. We should do the movies-watching at your place alright?

Whole day I was waiting for a text reply. So disappointing, alright.

Dinner with my brother. Catch up a little, and for those who didn't already know, he's already 18!! and in college already. Yeah, like wth right, they are growing so fast, and us, growing older. ><

And guess who just had a haircut?

Sigh, hot and cold reactions. I can't take them. Please.

:: Do not make me fall for you, and then leave. ::


If you are reading this, I hope you get well soon.

I can't believe the whole day, I was affected. I was told by many, to be patient. And the generation gap, is just all in mind. I hope it's true. I will try to be patient. Hopefully. Fingers crossed.

Do not make me fall for you, and then leave. I will cry.

For some reason I find me, being posted for internship in KL is a blessing in disguise. Let me tell you One, for now.

I only get to meet her once, if I'm lucky, every Chinese New Year. And that's it. If I'm luckier, I would meet up with her, if I head down to KL for holidays.

She's not my cuppa tea; but she's definitely on my list!

Ever since I came to KL to work, I've been trying to make plans, to make full use of the time I have here. By now, we've already met twice for dinner, and already have plans for the near future. Hoooray!

I can always count on her to bring me to nice places, for food, while she does her job. A flogger (food blogger) in the making.

I shall pimp her blog while I'm at it. >> www.yilinglim.blogspot.com

Dinner was at Fusion Haven last Saturday. Reviews can be found in Yiling's blog, but give her some time to do it alright?




And her recent-bought toy, I love it alot. Photos have never look better!


Me, before my haircut.


Thanks for everything dahling.
p/s: You are still not my cuppa tea.

**Agony is when you are asked to wait for something when impatient happens to be your middle name!**

I snapped!

I broke the 'weekday-no-puff' rule, and I ended up doing 4 sticks in a row. While talking on the phone with YiLing. While waiting for the guys to turn up. I'm always the first one to arrive. Apa nih? UTP time kah?

I've been waiting the whole day, and everyone's right. I was taken for walk down the park the whole time. It's alright I guess. Not too sad this time, there's always the 5th no? Okay, don't pretend to laugh at the joke, it's an inside one.

Nevermind, good things come when you least expect them to. I'm just thankful I have friends to support me from the back (this time, Mel's gone missing! Mesti tengah midterms nih..). Though till now, I secretly hope there's a twist to the story, but ah, I hope too much at times. Sad case.

Tried to get myself distracted, out for dinner with a group of friends.

It's a Tuesday, and we dine in Fridays.

Yes, we definitely need more Fridays, don't we?

And guess what, today's a FAT TUESDAY! and tomorrow's an ASH WEDNESDAY!!



which means, yay!! tomorrow no need to go work! ASH WEDNESDAY, HIDUP ENGKAU!

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Dah, tomorrow need to go to work lah. Bodoh punya pasai..my lecturer is coming to visit tomorrow, so, have to be punctual and all.

and in conjunction with Mardi Gras, TGIF gave 40% discounts for beverages.
So, apa lagi, I ordered the TOP SHELF MOJITO!

I think I have a thang for Mojitos. Damn, been having that so much lately.
Anyway, it was really a downside that we have to work tomorrow, or else, it could be fun ordering liqour and drinking like it's dirt cheap. 40%, that's alot!

(oklah, I don't really enjoy drinking. Just the fact that the price is slashed 40% off makes them appealing!)

I didn't know what to eat, because I usually order the 3-course meal in TGIF. Cheap, fast, and filling. But then, strong recommendation came from Ian about its JD Burger, which cost about RM24.90, so I decided to give it a try.





Definitely filling, with its portion, but nothing worth commenting.
and yeah, the JD sauce is one of its kind.

and to end it with a sweet note, I ordered a Parfait-Chocolate Oreo Mint

which came in a shot glass, nothing bigger than a pepper shake.

Parfait, is custard. If you tak tahu. Tak tahu, tolong google alright? Jangan tanya sama saya.



First time celebrating Mardi Gras. Whatever the festival is about, I don't care. All that I'm interested in was the 40% discount on all beverages.



Anyhoo, let's not forget about the company. Dinners are sure fun with their presence.


William, Janice (his gf), Ian, Ivan, Khian, JinMing.


Why tomorrow kena bangun pagi, gosok gigi, cuci muka, pakai baju, naik LRT, pergi kerja???

p/s: I'm just putting on a masquerade. Do you know how upset I am?

The lecturer came and went.
I thought he would get lost while finding his way to my "hidden" office building, but he's good. Credits to him.
I wonder if he noticed the grin I gave to my Supervisor when he asked him how was I, at work.
But thank goodness, my supervisor is not dumb. He knows when to put on a show when the right time comes.
Credits to my Supervisor as well. (not that it required any lying, memang good worker mah!)

Today's the day, I got my worst, *WORST* train-ride experience. Well, to date.

First, I thought of leaving the office early, since I've completed my work. So, at 5.50pm, I walked to the train station, only to find that many were waiting for the train. None came. 15 minutes delay. For whatever reason, I have no idea. Saja main-main, want all the good looking office workers wait at the train station. Me, included.

Then, when the train finally came, imagine the amount of people squashed inside the train. All this drama, because there was a delay. For whatever reason, I don't know.
So, I was squashed, pushed into the train. I had trouble gaining balance because the only support I had, beside the tiny amount of railing which my fingers were able to cling on, was the people around me. So, inside the train, we were leaning against one another, in hope the train doesn't do an emergency break.

I thought that was the bad part, then the worst came.

Straight after my station, the train stopped at Masjid Jamek. Don't need to explain, Masjid Jamek, lagi berlaut-laut orang lah. So, not enough that there's no space to breathe left in the train, people still want to force their way in. Ok, I understand that part. People were very cooperative in that sense, that they moved in deeper to allow people to squash in. Ok, that part done.

And then..

and then....(in tears already)

There was this, middle-aged woman, Indian, (this is not a racial issue, alright?), maybe late 40s, with, Pamela-Anderson look-alike boobs (or breasts) , and obviously with weight issues, decided to come join in the fun as well. And guess who was standing, just right near the entrance, where she decided to come into the train. I was facing her, when she pushed her way in, (with her big breasts), shoving against my (almost flat) chest, and the intense pressure of people pushing from behind, which resulted in her breasts rubbing hard against my chest.

I swear I was going to throw up then.

So, to avoid such awkward situation, I decided to turn around to face the people who were sitted, also clinging onto a small part of the rail.
And the woman, who obviously had no idea my face was turning red, kept having her "fruits" rubbing my back as well. I think she didn't know that her breasts were huge humongous! So, when the train started to move, her breasts were rubbing against my back, and I was praying so loud inside to please, let the woman disembark the next station.

As this incident was occuring, my thighs were also rubbing against an Indian man, who was sitted right in front of me. I gave him a look, hoping that he was not enjoying a single second of the rubbing, because if he was, I would get off the next station. Luckily, he was hiding his excitement.

The woman's breasts, continue rubbing my back, until what seems to be hours later (I think about 15 minutes minusing the exxageration), the crowd started to disperse and my back was probably thankful that the harassment has ended.

I swear, if I'm a lesbian, I would straightaway become straight. Totally. That was how turned off I got.

Today's train ride. One of the most irksome ride ever.

FOAM PARTY was awesome.
Who could've thought that going to the party alone would result into something?
No, I didn't go home with anyone; just reached home at 6 in the morning, just in time to greet my housemates and roommates who are now awake. Blah.

FOAM PARTY for girls. My first ever.
Hot sexy girls in bikini, dykes dressed in surf shorts and t-shirt.
Me? I was in my tank top and shorts. With ma crocs.

Sorry, no picture. It was soooooo wet inside, but time's awesome.