First time, in many semesters, I heard students complaining about the unwanted week-long break. Usually, at the news of a holiday, students would go on a frenzy mode, pack their stuffs, and board the next available bus/flight home. Or somewhere, with a duty-free zone. (Oh wait, that only applies to Meche and Civil students.. ) 

Anyway, like I've mentioned earlier, UTP's on a lock down, 7 days, due to the recent H1N1 outbreak in the university. I guess the management is only doing what they think is the best solution, at the moment. Many of us, didn't like the idea of a sudden one week break, even though many of us have yet to start working on our assignments and FYP. The lazy bug, from the previous semester break was still around, so many of us spend time, on movies, mamak, surfing the net, BABO, etc.. Well, basically, all the LABS/TUTORIALS begins on the 3rd week, which also marks the end of our "laziness" to start work for good. But the University was announced closed for a week, which means, the "3rd week" has been postponed.

I know many of the final year students especially, have their meetings with their respective supervisors on the 3rd week. Like them, I too, was assigned to meet my supervisor. At last, my FYP topic is confirmed. double :D

So, with the sudden "week-holiday", our schedules have been changed.
Many would take this opportunity to recharge their batteries, and come back in a healthy form. Some would take this opportunity to party like a rock star before being "locked in" again. Some, would take this opportunity to spend more time with the family, due to internship which took place away from home. Me? Me,..I'm only trying to stay healthy, and not catch the deadly flu.

If any of you who read my Gtalk status yesterday, mine was
"H1N1 is not deadly, what's dangerous are the rumours circulating. That's even more deadly."

Why do I say so?  
Earlier this week, day in, day out, we often see students lining up, in the clinic waiting for their turn. ALL of them had their masks on. I guess this cause a commotion inside the community, creating havoc within the students themselves. Surprisingly, it's the healthy ones who were speculating rumours that the University would close down anytime now. We see students being send for quarantine in V6. I, myself have friends who are actually experiencing the quarantine. Like Chong Kian. Whom no one believed until some who actually went to confirm the news. (Chong Kian, see!! You always buat cerita..that's why people like doubted when you told them you were quarantined..)

Alot of speculation about the university closing down, but none of the news were confirmed. People started to panic and worried, because a lot of uncertainties. No doubt, I was one of the many who were waiting for the official announcement. I do not mind the week-break, but at the same time, I hate the feeling of being uncertain of my plans. If you didn't already know, I need to know my schedule beforehand so that some plans of mine can be arranged and executed properly. I packed my bags though, because on Friday, the rumours were getting out of hand, stating that the news were confirmed. Many had their own versions of university being closed down, with their own "reliable" sources. When asked the source, they finally admitted that they heard from who and who.

Well, during this 2 weeks back in UTP, I've learned that the flu is actually not as deadly as we thought it is. What's deadly, are the rumours coming together with it. That actually caused a frenzy. It was as if the university was going to be wiped out from the map of the world.

Yesh, I'm not kidding. 

I'm finally home!

Yesh, I know the University has announced a lock-down on Friday, and finally, after 4 days of disappearance, I'm finally back home. I've been away, to KL, for the past weekend, only managed to get a bus back to home, this afternoon.

It took me 2 hours to get to KL Sentral, from Subang's KTM station. Waited an hour for the train to arrive, and another 40 minutes for it to arrive to KL Sentral. Realized that the earliest train to go Ipoh is at 1pm, so I took the train to Pudu, which means a transit of train in Masjid Jamek and then another train to Pudu. Surprisingly, I managed to keep my cool, despite me feeling slight agitated about the large backpack I had, over my back. I felt like I was in Amazing Race or something equivalent.

Got myself safely in Pudu about 10.45am, thought I was lucky enough to get a bus heading back to Ipoh at 11am. Good, only 15-minutes worth of wait. I waited for the bus at its platform, for about 45 minutes. Fuck, I should've gotten Transnasional/Sri Maju which departs at 11.30am.

While I waited for the bus, a man, in his late 20's approached me. He spoke in Mandarin, telling me that his pouch bag got snatched away and asked whether I can help him go to the ticket counter to purchase a bus ticket for him back to Kuantan. I told him that I couldn't, because I was waiting for my bus which was supposed to be arriving at 11am. He then put on a kesian face, and asked if I can spare him RM20 instead, and when he reaches home, he can ask his mum to bank in the money for me. I told him that I was penniless as well, the only money left with me was used to purchase a bus ticket. He then, scowled, and put on a kesian face; whilst I walked away from him. I pretended to be busy with my phone, while I noticed that he approached another guy, probably with the same story line. I saw the guy's gestures, head shaking, with a slight movement of the hands. Then the man, came back to me, and asked me whether I can lend him RM10 instead, but because of the iPod, I couldn't talk, so I just said, "No, No..I don't have..and tried to back away.." . He then, unpredictably, scolded me "Cibai..cibai!! You think I want to rob you ah..so scared for what..". Before I can respond, he already walked away. Well, not like I would scold him back or what lah..but imagine if I were to be alone down there, god knows what he'd do to me. But KNN, see his face also, I knew he was a conman lah..If really need help, he could've went to the police or something lah..why go to one platform and another..memang one stupid conman..

The bus finally came, around 11.45am, and I reached home around 2.45pm. Took the cab home, which charged me RM12 from Medan Gopeng to my place. Daylight robbery!!
But because it was after I sat inside the cab, only did the driver told me the price. I coudn't get out from the cab, because I scared what if the drivers gang up on me or something. So I had to pay lor..cibai betul lah..

Now I'm waiting for mum to cook dinner. After this trip to KL, I'm broke-r than ever. Money like doesn't stick to my bank account one..really..dulan sial~
I'm hungry, because I didn't manage to grab lunch..which reminds me of the night, both of us were clueless about dinner, so I googled and suggested steamboat in Puchong.
We ended up in Mizi.

Each individual get its own hot pot and sauce. Well, lucky for me, this individual pot means we both get to cook our own food. Thus, I don't have to do the cooking for 2 people..lol!!

I ordered the Original Seafood set, which only costs RM21.90 but mana tau, the portion is so small, that it's insufficient for the two of us...So we ended up ordering more side dishes, and the bill came up to about RM60.

Well, I guess it's an experience for the two of us. We've never had steamboat for dinner and lok lok doesn't count because she doesn't eat roadside stuffs.

And I found out something rather peculiar..and she was practically amused about this the whole night..

voila! the mussel..

I had a surprising text from Crystal tonight. It feels good to finally see a familiar name on my phone's screen. I called her, and we ended up hanging on the phone for good ol' 15 minutes. Well, I don't get to see her often, very often during our semester breaks of course, but other than that, we completely lose touch for as long as we were in our respective Universities.

What jabbed my heart was when she mentioned that a friend of mine asked her whether I was coping well with my relationship. About my long distance relationship.

Funny, because this friend of mine who posted this question did not have the habit of reading my blog. Neither do we talk online. Just like Crystal, we only meet very often during our semester breaks. But, it felt good. That someone, or rather people are concerned with my relationship's progress. Not because they are just being nosy, but because I can feel that they are really concerned about me, and my other half.

p/s: And because I had this history of hitting the ground wayyyy tooo hard. Hehhe..

I just got back from KL this afternoon.
Last weekend was awesome.
We were...

and now we are...

Jigsaw puzzles are meant to fit into place, not separated apart!


As much as I loathe the idea of travelling, I have a funny feeling that I might head down to the City of Lights, this coming Friday! Oh well...Oooo boy...

I woke up to a rainy day, today. The whole body was aching all over, and I felt tired the whole day. Instead of picking mum up for lunch, I told her to just buy lunch back, and the rest of the day was spend lazing on the bed. I really wanted to get started on my Design of Offshore Structures assignment, which is due on the 21st, but because the lazy bug has attacked me the whole day, and for a couple of days now..I decided the best thing to do is to do it tomorrow. Or the day after tomorrow.

I think I have bus-lag. If there's a term for those who take bus rides frequently.
I'm not kidding, I feel a sense of muscle pain all over, and the body aches, I'm definitely not joking about the constant-tiredness I am experiencing. Please pray for me that I'd be able to last until the end of July, next year.

The whole day, I kept contemplating whether to go to KL this Friday, while busy scheming a white lie to tell my mum about leaving home earlier. Thank goodness dad's coming home from Vietnam this Saturday, so that means someone's around to accompany her, which means the guilt is lesser. On the other hand, I've not seen dad for like almost 3 weeks now, and the last time, we only managed to have breakfast and I sped off to KL. I'm not really a fillial daughter, am I? Then again, I do not deny the fact that I miss her, which explains why I still insist on going down to KL despite the tiring journey, to which she always say, "2 hours only marrr...". Hrmmm..decisions, decisions..they are difficult to be made.

I didn't manage to go out the whole day, hence I made it up to mum to bring her out for dinner instead. She was craving for some TomYum soup action, so we went to Kimbali. Well, I was lucky that she didn't make me pay for the meal. In fact if you could see closely, if you were to open my wallet, you can probably notice that it's empty. I'm not kidding. I've gotta learn to save, for real. Maybe I should start, like RM50 per month? Or maybe a RM100.
Because the idea of an empty bank account upon graduation means I've gotta start from ZERO when I enter the work force. There goes the plan of getting myself a brand new car.

Alot of thinking was done, on the bed today. Big plans, small plans. Dreams, some may call them. I need some clubbing action in my life. Has been ages since I last had alcohol and smoke in my bloodstream. I do not want to be deprieved of these sins, well, I am afterall, only twenty-two.

And yeah, the other night, while we were tired out, we had some serious conversation at her place.
To which I told her, that humans have 4 sins. Smoking, Drinking, Gambling, Womanizing.
And I'm not proud to admit that I've done all 4 of those. Well, perhaps womanizing not really, but then again, I do have my own past..
And so I asked her, if I have to do one sin, which one would she preferred me to do.

She said, "Drinking."

And after more deducing later, I finally concluded that her ranking of sins for me is:
Drinking--> Smoking --> Gambling --> Womanizing

Tskk..women, they get jealous very easily. They can accept everything nasty about you, but when it comes to sharing you with another woman, they unleash their fury instantly.
Oh well, with all that said, I love you!

I knew Ban was back home for his semester break, and since we haven't been meeting for a long time, we decided to come out for a quick catching up session. Little did I know that KwongHoe and EuJon were joining us, and only when I've reached, KwongHoe told me that there would be 2 other Michealians joining us.

So I was the only girl, among 5 guys. Ban, KwongHoe, EuJon and the 2 other guys whom I just met, Bryan and Nicholas. Would love to write more, but just a mere update about what happened tonight. It was my first gulp of alcohol ever since I got back to Ipoh. I can see where this would head to.

Dimsum with the boys tomorrow. Hahha..weird combination, but definitely worth while, before I head back to Tronoh.

MAXIS decides to be a nuisance again!
This morning, when I decided to make an important call, the other line had a woman, with an annoying voice, "Sorry, your Maxis service has been interrupted. Kindly make your payment..."
Blaaa..blaaa..blaaaa..I didn't bother listening to the end of the sentence, because I've been hearing it, every end of the month! It's not like I don't want to pay the bill, but it's ridiculous to pay RM118 every month for its broadband. And I don't have that kind of money. Even more ridiculous to pay RM250 for its termination fee. A kind reminder to all, do remember to read between the lines, and all the fine words before you sign anything. I wanted to lodge a report last night, to MAXIS, but the stupid email/feedback kept having error. Aaarrgghh...
This is worst than AhLong hunting down me for money. They are smarter. They cut my Broadband services. Mcbai betul lah!

I'm now on Streamyx at home, so to make full use of the connection before it actually disconnects since it's very unstable, I've decided to write something here, before I go off doing my stuffs. As of today, JPA has yet to bank in our sem-ly allowance, which means I'm still broke as ever. I don't even have enough to pump petrol into the car to get me back to UTP tomorrow. That kinda sucks right? And dad's all the way in Vietnam so there's no other financial aid at home. Mum? Well, let's just put it this way, Mum's like this ATM machine, which requires a pin number, and 345316243416 gazzilion of code-breakers in order for it to dispense money. Most of the time, such random requests fail. So I never bothered. Well, let's just hope that the ministry's gonna bank in the money by tomorrow, or else..all plans for the weekend is failed.

This morning was a struggle for me to wake up. I only managed to climb to the bed around 4 in the morning. When the alarm rang at 8am, I was ACTUALLY contemplating to cancel on them. But I did not. In fact, I was in time to shower before I got out. Boys are always boys. They are ALWAYS late on appointments. 8.30 means somewhere around 9-ish or so. I reached the dimsum place only to find out that Ming Court was closed for the day. I circled around for parking, failed, so I drove straight to the car park, which means RM3.00 for an hour worth of dimsum. Hmm..hassle-free, but that's too much for Ipoh's standard I would say.

EuJon, who was the loudest last night, who left early, who asked the breakfast to be at 8.30 sharp, turned out to be the latest to arrive. I'm not surprised. I've come across people who are like that. A short breakfast ordeal, they didn't really eat much since they were going back to their alma mater for canteen food. O'lord, how I missed my own school's canteen food. When they mentioned their nasi lemak, it kinda reminded me of mine. RM1.00, it was enough to keep you filled up until lunch. (Shhh..but we never stopped there, there was always keropok lekor and buah jambu..and kacang putih..and the 10 cents fishball..and the fried nuggets and sausages..) and all these, very affordable then. They asked me to join them back to SMI, but I had something on. Moreover, it'd be kinda awkward for me to step into SMI, since I'm not from there. Although I was there, for a couple of ocassions, but that was it. No nostalgic strings attached, and certainly, their canteen did not have such a reputation as MGS's. And I don't want to get into the boys' way. So I left.

It was a pleasure to meet with Nicholas. I'm sure I've heard of him some time before, but never really gotten a chance to meet him in person. And it was nice to meet up with the others, once in a while. For example, even though Kwong Hoe and I are in the same University, but it's weird that we never sit down in the same table and have a single chat when we are in campus. Probably due to the fact that we are in the different faculty, and we mix with the different crowd. However, when we are back in Ipoh, and when we hang out together with the same clique of friends, things can be really different between both of us.

Just like last night, it was good that Ban actually suggested the Kinta Waterfront as a meet-up point. The waterfront was opened last year, when I first started my internship. So I never did have the chance to pay a visit to that spot. Well, what's so great about the spot, since it's beside the river and all. Erm, I'd say it provides a different kind of atmosphere for us, especially those who would often lepak in Oldtown Kopitiam.
The drinks are reasonably priced, but then again, I've been in KL for wayyy too long, I don't really know how to differentiate whether it's cheap or expensive here anymore.

So last night, Jon was asking me whether I found any potential boyfriend when I was away in KL, to which I honestly replied that I did not. "I do not have a boyfriend yet, I'm still scouting." Then, KwongHoe hinted that there's someone, but he, being a gentleman, did not want to reveal who the person is, so he only managed to sheepishly hinted.
Jon who continued asking, asked about the potential "guy" that Kwong Hoe hinted, so I told him that there's actually no guy, in fact, it's a girl.
I guess I scared him. Because you know as soon as you tell someone something, they've got this look when they are stunned, but they tried not to appear stunned. I knew I got him there, then. In order to loosen up the tensed situation, I told him I'm still exploring and grinned.

I guess I've still a girlish look behind this facade. Hehhe, not even the new haircut gave my sexuality away..ooh well, mum's theory is incorrect then!

and here we go again.

My hands and legs are shaking. I'm uncertain if it's hunger or sugar-deprieved this time. What's wrong with me today?

Whoa, so many entries for just one day. I don't know why, despite me lacking of sleep, yet I feel hyper. And I can't do my Offshore assignment because I don't have the PTS. Well, urm, PTS is actually a standard code for designing platforms or something like that. So urm, I have no idea who has it, and no one seems to care about the assignment, so I'm putting that aside for the moment.
And I decided to snoop around my drawer to find picture of such, dropping onto the floor.

Back in 2005, before I was marched into UTP, I attended a brief session of Form 6, in ACS which stands for Anglo-Chinese School.  ACS is actually the brother school for MGS, which happens to be my former alma mater. Knowing that I could never understand the "magic" of biology, I decided that the best for me then, was to take Physics. Back then, it was either you take Physics+Chemistry, or Biology+Chemistry. There were a couple of exceptional cases of Albert Estein's who took the 3 main sciences.

So I was chucked into the Physics class. I kid you not, when there is a perception that Physics class consists of the most guys. I have the picture (above) to prove to you, the ratio between the guys and the girls in my class. This picture was taken for the school magazine, just before I got my offer letter from UTP. And then, everyone who decided to take Physics stream, was chucked into the lecture room, into one class. There were about 100 of us, in the Lower Sixth Form.

I still remember clearly, that the girls who were in this class, from MGS, were only 6 of us. Me, MeiLoo, Kiranjit, PooiYeng, MeiLing, ChengChein. And we knew clearly, that the ACS teachers adore those who came from MGS. Well, during my time, we had PoiLam students send to ACS as well, for those who wished to do their Form 6. And perhaps, the language barrier, the ACS teachers would give their attention more towards those who came from MGS. Ermm..brother-sister school mah!

Of course, we made friends with the PoiLam students. In no time, we were talking, high-5-ing with them, like we were old buddies. But that didn't last very long.

Form 6, was just a pit-stop for students who didn't know where to go after Form 6. Then, many results for scholarships, IPTA, intakes for private colleges were yet to be announced, so in order to make full use of the free time, many parents send their children to Form 6. To actually feel how it's like, to be preparing for the world's toughest set of questions.
I actually prepared very early for Form 6, even enrolled myself with the best Chemistry tuition teacher in Ipoh. And the best Physics tuition teacher in Ipoh. And the best Maths teacher in Ipoh. I'm not kidding. Like every mums, mine was extra kiasu when it comes to matter like these, and she wanted to have a good headstart.

However, come the 3rd week in Form 6, after going through the numerous interviews for positions held in the activities, the prefects' interview, the debate team try-outs, the Liddsoc committee for drama production, etc.. I got my offer letter from UTP asking me to report to the University, at the end of July.

Such a short time for a good time and my last time in a Uniform.

If anyone were to notice closely, all of the people who sat at the front row, are from MGS and ACS. Except for the girl who was sitting beside me; she was the Asst. Monitor. Clearly, we didn't give any face to the PoiLam-ers.


p/s: Just an entry, to show how I looked back then. Nothing to do with school rivalry. heheheheheh..

I'm not kidding no one. I'll be going down to KL again tomorrow.
Birthday celebration. And looking to a nice clubbing moment. Hopefully I don't catch the H1N1 bug. Fingers crossed.

I did something really wrong last night.
I nearly lost my girlfriend.  
Imagine whatever that was said and done, could not vanquish her anger inside.
Then she smiled. 

It feels like just yesterday the semester begin. With the extra "week-off" last week, it felt like a restart all over again.

Last weekend, I spend it with the her in KL. Dinner and clubbing with her friends. Things happened, and I don't think it's appropriate to talk about it here.

That's on my left arm, I'm not kidding.

Last Friday/Saturday, I nearly lost someone I love. I was so stressed until I couldn't sleep, even in my drunken state. That really shows how depressed and worried I was.
However, we patched things up, the next day. It's my fault for upsetting her. I'm sorry.

Dear, I love you. It will never happen again.

Today's a rather gloomy day, for me. Even though it drizzled a little in the morning, yet I still feel the heat which suffocates me, somehow. I felt rather mellow..(is the spelling correct?) Something's bothering me, but I can't point out what. Or I know what's wrong, but I can't say it out loud. The whole body is sore, from the bruises. The heart, is just heavy. Maybe, something is wrong.

Lunch in V5 today. Bumped in a few Cheme students, namely NgaiYoong, whom I haven't seen since I got back. Today, saw her. Hahha, exchange of good words, couldn't catch up further because lunch awaits me. I made a mental note to catch up over dinner with her, at least one day before we graduate for good.

Allowance has yet to be banked in. All the scholars, Petronas and JPA are waiting, impatiently. Money is a very good form of encouragement for us to study. Otherwise, we won't start moving with our assignments and projects. So, there you go. Money, please be banked in A.S.A.P.

No, I'm not feeling upset about the lack of money. Money, to me, if I really don't have it, I will find a way to deal with the money issue. But the issue inside me, why am I feeling "down"..I hope it's just the Monday blues, and not anything else. I don't want to think about this. Don't want to think of the consequences of my words.

I made a mistake.

And I'm regretting it.

Dear ah, 不要生我气啦！我不会再犯错的。你相信我吧！
Someone asked me one question, "Are you sure you love her? Really sure??"
Me: Of course lah! It's killing me that she doesn't want it anymore. You think the tears are fake?

And now, tell me the way to get rid of the bed bugs. And give me the strength to complete my progress report.

Anyone remembers the Jelutong Wastewater Treatment Plant visit?

We look unexceptionally young then!

We are an odd couple. It's funny how much I love You.

Yesterday, during lecture, we were unexceptionally noisy when the lecturer announced that we would be having a 5-min break.
So he said, "Please lower down your voice, I don't want to kick one or two of you out because you are Engineers. At least, you are almost Engineers..So don't make me kick you out.."

It struck me then.

Almost Engineers. Final year, can be pretty scary, at times. I don't want to leave the University so soon.
And over dinner last night, people have already started to discuss the "drafted speech" the GCA has made. But all that, was a joke.
 

give and take, can or not? so difficult to get together, don't throw 'us' away..
<3

Something happened to her today. Nothing serious, yet enough to shake her. And I was not beside her. I was not there for her.
Ever since we got together, she told me that she needs someone to be there, for her. If possible, all the time. It was alright then, since I was working in KL, and my place to her place was just 10-minutes drive away. When I had to leave, I made sure that I told her to be careful in whatever she does, because I wouldn't be there for her, anymore. Everytime she mentions over the phone that she's sick, I immediately feel worried because what if she falls sick, and I couldn't be there. I have classes to attend, family obligations here. Whenever she goes out driving, I make sure that I told her to be careful on the roads, because I don't want any mishaps to happen. To her. I can be there, but the quickest I can be right beside her, would be 3 hours.

For instance, today, as soon as I heard about the news, I was with TeeHooi and Harpreet, in the IRC. I asked them whether there would be any important classes tomorrow, that I can skip. International Business and Structural Dynamics. Heavy subjects but it's alright to skip once in a blue moon. For emergencies. But I was worried about the uncertain lab hours for tomorrow morning at 8. The technician has yet to call any one of us, and our slots are not confirmed. I don't want to risk my lab slots because if I did, I would have to conduct the experiments with other groups. However, I was determined to drop everything and head down to KL. TeeHooi asked me to wait and reconsider, incase she doesn't need my presence. If she were to be able to settle it, then I wouldn't have to go down. It would be a rush for me to come back for Friday's classes.
So I waited, until she told me she had got it settled. But from her voice, I knew that she was shaken. I had to spoke to her in a stern voice (to which TeeHooi commented that I sounded like I scolded her..) but I know if I were to be worried as her, and sound as uncertain as her, she would feel even more scared and troubled.

I'm just glad that she found some help from her colleagues.

Come night time, she called me after she came home, and expressed her feelings. I'm not much of a good comfort-er, so all I could say was "You've gotta be independant..I can't always be around..". I know how upsetting that would sound, but at times like these, I tend to be practical. I don't know how to express mushy-mushy words, just to make her feel better. She told me that she can't help feeling all by herself, because she didn't know who to call when she's in trouble.
And that, she felt alone.

Upon hearing this, it crushed my heart, if not, to a million tiny pieces. I know she's not hinting that I'm a "sea" apart, but I can't help to feel that she was hoping that I was there to settle the problem for her. I did think of dropping everything at once, and head to KL, but how would I be able to answer to my parents, if they were to find out that I've skipped lectures and am in KL. Times like these, I find myself in a dilemma.
I'm just more than happy to know that she managed to settle it, and rectify the situation.

I know, how sometimes, we find ourselves being all alone in this world. Being an "emo" fella, I understand how it feels to be all alone, even in the presence of friends. I used to feel like an introvert, even in a group of friends. I was there, or probably still am. I've learned since, that being independant, is the key. I've learned that friends, (some friends) tend to only be there, during your good times, but when you need help, they never seem to turn up. I was there. I've experienced that, and what doesn't kills you, makes you stronger.

To her, I'm not good with words of comfort. At times like such, critical situations, I find myself articulating the most unappropriate words. Maybe, trying to be practical..Maybe hiding the fear..Maybe avoiding the disappointment and guilt..Maybe, just wanting the best for her..

One year, could it be that difficult to wade through?
A friend told me, if both of us managed to survive this one year, we would be stable in the future. Because the hardest part in a relationship, we've been through. Long distanced is one of the toughest challenge a couple could experience.
I just hope the two of us would be a little more determined.

Stop the pounding in my head. It hurts.

You find yourself best doing absolutely nothing.

The roommate suggested me to listen to Reamonn's "Million Miles". She said, "Very suitable to picture your current condition.."

To walk this streets without you
I hate being on my own
So many souls around you
But it never feels like home
Home is where my heart is aching
Home

Home is where there's no mistaking
All this space between us
Isn't going anywhere
But it's ok to be us
Cause your far from being here
Here is where the sky gets lonely
Here
Here I dissappear

I'm a million miles from you
But if we hold on
Gotta hold on
I'm a million miles from you
But if we stay strong
I know we'll make it through

All this time is passing
But every day's the same
So much shadow casting
I don't wanna place the blame
Cause the blame is just a mixed emotion
Blame
Blame it on the fear

I'm a million miles from you
But if we hold on
Gotta hold on
I'm a million miles from you
But if we stay strong
I know we'll make it through

Now the distance alone can change us
I've been lying to myself
It's the moments apart that make us
See who we both really are

LDR can be pretty difficult, if there's not enough understanding and patience. Sometimes, I wonder if I've enough.

I wonder, if next year, would it fall on the very same date?
16th August, today, the July 04 batch had their convocation. The last batch of seniors to be "sent-off" with bouquet of flowers and teddy bears, and soft toys.

It all happened in the Chancellor Complex, where the commotion was, today. Mind you, pictures of the vicinity, is for those who have yet to know about my campus. Nice architecture eh?

The infamous library of UTP. The grand granduere. We do hear alot of oohs and aahs whenever they come by to the university. Just too bad that they are closed for the day, maybe refraining the public from walking in and out from the fully air-conditioned building. You have no idea the immense amount of heat in the Chancellor Complex for today, that I swore, the entire jeans of mine was drenched with my sweat.

As an Emergency measure, there were people with high-tech equipments to scan the thermal heat of each and everyone. They were constantly scanning for high body temperatures.

But for some reason, after I got back from the Convocation, I find myself coughing non-stop. And slight headache. Hmmmmmmm....

Harpreet, TeeHooi, Khian, Shobana & Aiting waited patiently for the graduates to come out.

Let me be honest, I didn't manage to get any bouquet of flowers for the people I know. I find it simply too expensive to buy fresh flowers and then to find it all dried up, dead a few days later. What is the point of that? Thus, this year, I resorted to getting some of them, cards, wrote a few lines, and voila! The almost, perfect gift. Cards are more meaningful, and they don't decompose a few days later.

The first person I congratulated, was PeiChie.

You should read the things I wrote in the card, for her. One of the many people whom would take the time of her busy schedule to catch up with me. And let's not forget, that when she was in Germany doing her internship, she purposely called me just to check on my condition. The late-nights conversations by the staircase, and the random mamak hangouts with SanNien. Oh, how I miss those days...And yeah, I remember she standing up for me, in several ocassions..hehe, including the time when CheeFai, or was it Derrick who bullied me during XiaXiang..hehe..

and there was TeikHui..

A Michealean, from Ipoh! I don't really know him until I went XiaXiang with him. 7 days, was enough to know one person. The top student from Chemical, or so I was told.

And this is CheeFai, who was my CnP head in EDX19. Great kid, just one who always likes to bully me. When he was in Dubai, doing his Internship, he's always the one checking on me, online, making sure that I made the correct decisions.
It's a pity that I'm always busy now, and he's busy at work, and we can't talk much online anymore. Sigh, but I know he drops by here, ocassionally.
*Hello!! CheeFai!*

and there's Jackie..

Jackie, is one of my Civil's senior. Very sweet guy, whom I only went clubbing with, ONCE. In Aloha, KL. I remembered him telling my cousin that his sister suggested Aloha as a nice place to club, but we went to the wrong Aloha, and ended up dancing to the boring 70s song tracks. We should've went to the one in the basement, that was where the heat was, but when we found out about that, it was already way past 1am.

This is my cousin, with my Uncle and Aunty. Funny how I have 3 cousins in the same university, and WeiFa, happens to be in the same faculty as me, as well. Psst, he's a first class student, which gives the wrong idea to mum that if he can do it, how come I can't?

Melvin. Funny there's something I remembered, but then now, when as I'm typing this, I forgot.

And this is Peichie's guy..

whom San Nien and I, referred to as Lil' Kev. Well, he's Kevin lah. When I was in my first year, when MirC was still being used, we used to stay up till wee hours chatting. He was the guy who came up to me and said that statics is very easy.

Kevin: If you are on the rooftop and not moving, that's called statics. But when you start to jump down from the building, then that's called dynamics.

He introduced me to a wide range of singers and bands. My iTunes list would not be the same as today's if it wasn't for him. *snigger*

The convocation ceremony is divided into 2 parts. One in the morning, and the other, in the afternoon. So, after the first session, we went for lunch in the Convosquare, under the scorching sun. I predicted rain for the day, with the dark clouds being so obvious, but nope, in fact the sun got brighter and the heat got even more intense. Even the Air Kelapa did not help to quench the thirst. Yeap, it was THAT horrible.
After lunch, I quickly rushed back, got a quick shower and took a short nap. Was out to the Chancellor Complex again, for the 2nd session.

XiYi and I

Khian, BoonTat, Ariff, XiYi & HuiChing


and the first person I congratulated during the 2nd session was

San Nien!

SanNien, I purposely came back to 2nd session for you okay...So hot somemore..just to give you the card..hehehe..SanNien and I used to makan together, because she very kesian..not many friends..hehehehe!!No lah..she was very helpful when I asked for her help during my ETP project. Remember that I had to settle the circuit on my own? She was a gem to have guided me on how to fix this and that..and to lend me her souldering kit. Also a great friend online, to talk to me when I was away for internship in KL.

And another Ipoh leng lui..

SuetYeng. If you put 2 of us together, we immediately become a Mobile Circus. Interprete the meaning yourself! Lol..:D

and there's also Felix..

And for christ's sake, I asked the most stupid question of all time. Aaarrghhh.. Paiseh betul lah..

Last but not least,

Ivan.
How we met? I remembered attending the PTPTN talk, during Foundation and I noticed this guy seated beside me, using his PDA to go on MSN. Me, being me, decided to ask him how he goes online, how much is the cost, etc..and the next thing I know, he added me on Friendster the following week. (Facebook was not out yet then!) Funny how time passed by so quickly, many things had happened, and I'm glad that things turn out well in the end.

So, that was it. Convocation '09.

Another year, then it would be me in the robe and mortar board. It would be the scroll, in my hands. It would be me writing about how it feels to go up the stage and to walk up to the Chancellor, and say, "ThankYou." It would be me shouting at the top of my lungs, that I did it! After 4 years of pure tormenting (and lotsa playing hard!), I have finally make it.

But that would be a year from now.

I need to learn the art of splitting myself into different parts, real quick.
I get blamed for not being there physically whenever something happens. The friends are not helping by asking her my whereabouts.
Like duh! I've to complete my degree alright. It's not like I'm shaking my legs here or what.
Sometimes I just don't understand. There's a reason why it's known as LDR.
This is getting pretty taxing.

"When I say jump, you say how high..I never seen anybody get so high..."

Playing in my iTunes, is Jump, by Flo Rida feat Nelly Furtado. Not many agree with my kind of playlist. Hands up if you favour Sean Paul. Lol! Reggae, one of my kind of music.

Wednesday. RC class has been cancelled, so I took the opportunity to drive down to Ipoh to settle my business.  I woke up as early as 7.30am, to head to Medan Kidd, Ipoh's intercity bus station. Yeah, my FYP topic is focused on Medan Kidd. What I don't like about the Malaysia culture, is that they get scared when they see someone with a camera in hand, a notebook and asking weird questions like "Who's in charged of the maintenance here?"
Until now, I've yet to know who's in charged, and I'm pretty pissed that they keep pushing me to this company and that company, until I dulan already. However, I managed to snap pictures of the bus station here and there, but I was a little terrifed when I do so, because I attracted a lot of unwanted eyes. I get this spooky feeling there, even worst than those I get in the Pudu Bus Station.

After that, I went to the KTM station, in hopes to get cheap train tickets to head down to KL. I managed to secure economy seats, BUT blardy hell, I got a parking ticket, because I didn't put parking coupon. Sigh, like I know in the station, I have to pay for parking. I got a RM20 fine ticket, but because I appeal, the officer deducted RM10. Yet still..there goes my Wednesday lunch money. Anyway, I managed to have dim sum breakfast with Avinesh today, at Ming Court. As usual, just a brief catching up breakfast.
I paid my summon after breakfast and then to Maxis to settle my bills.

I got myself a new plan for Broadband because I realized if I go on paying RM118 for Broadband ONLY, I'm going to wear my pocket out real soon.(Or rather it's already worn out..hehehe).

Well, the new fee is also cut-throat, but at least, now I can save RM30 a month. I've thought of changing to Celcom but if I do so, I'd have to pay a sum of RM250 to Maxis as handling fees. Well, to get this new broadband modem also, I've to pay RM100 to activate a new line. Don't know lah..all this telecommunicating, means serious business weh..so expensive oneeee...

I like how the new modem looks like. Sleek eh? It's USB plug and play, so no extra wire to carry around!

And I managed to downgrade my MAXIS RM50 plan to RM30 every month. Weeeee~! Now, I don't have to pay a whooping sum of RM320 every month to MAXIS. It's about RM120 now, still pretty cut-throat, but that's the lowest I can get. Unless I don't use the Broadband, but it's getting pretty necessary nowadays, especially when I'm in UTP. I don't want to take chances with the LAN provided by the university.

I had lunch with mum and aunt. Showered at home, then headed back to UTP again.

I have no idea how much I missed driving with the music. I like the exhiliration the music provides. theurapatic..

"I say excuse me lil mama, if I may, take this thought and send it your way.."
by Flo Rida feat Neyo.

Ages since we last gathered in such a big group.

Pssstttt..this is not even half of the usual gang..

A small get-together to celebrate Tzeyang's 22nd, at Kenneth's abode. While I browsed through my picture folder, I came across Tzeyang's 21st's.
Wow, a year has passed..and how time flies eh?


Groups were divided to 3 main categories.
Mahjong, Poker, Monopoly.
I was in neither. ;P

No fancy food, yet I'm sure all of us enjoyed ourselves very much. Lol.

p/s: Thanks to Kenneth for loan-ing his place and pictures courtesy of his Sony Alpha.

Was in a lousy mood last night.
The intense amount of workload, is unimaginable.
To make things MORE complicated, it looks like I have failed to grasp the meaning of my FYP title.
The journals.., no one has written about bus stations before. Sometimes, I feel like dropping the entire course.

Currently feeling: Suicidal.

Luckily I managed to finish my DOS assignment before the weekend. Time is running low for me.
Stupid DOS spreadsheet which took me about 4 days to fully completion.
That's one up sign, I guess.

And yeah, there's this Dynamics assignment. Great.

If there's one thing which I don't understand, it would be about myself.


Mel, if you are reading this, I think the anger management class is pretty important now. I haven't managed to find one, or be in one, but that would definitely do me some good. I know of some people who would break chairs, tables, glass, doors, out of anger. Or even some who would abuse their partners out of anger. Could I be someone of that anger level?

I'm back at home, for a day. Initially thought of meeting the person in charged of Medan Kidd@The bus station, but the woman doesn't seem to be in the office the whole day. Plus, it was raining cats and dogs when I was on my way home. I think I nearly did a 360 spin, when I couldn't break on time, because I failed to notice the car in front of me who had stopped so abruptly. Ok, maybe not a 360 degree spin, I think my car skidded a little.
Got home, and surprised mum. She was shocked, because she didn't expect me to be home. I missed home. Even during the weekends when I'm constantly on the move, coming home, means home-cooked food in this Ramadhan month.

I seriously don't know what's happening at the moment.

I erm..erm..ermm...ermmmmm....errrr.....

When I was told that we were going to watch District9, I saw the movie poster and I was like wtf, what kind of movie is that. Giving that the director was Peter Jackson, I went in willingly, and I was totally amazed with everything about the movie. And I don't even mind paying to watch this for the 2nd time.

We went out for Kizuna, Japanese Cuisine in Ipoh. And I guess, I'm growing older. When I got back from Ipoh, it was already 3am, and I found it difficult to even walk back to my block. Hehhe..

First time out to Ipoh ever since we got back from Internship. Nice

Poor dear had to wait for me to come home before she could climb to bed.. *soweeee*

And now to FINALLY focus on my FYP!

I REALLY SHOULD GET STARTED WITH MY PROGRESS REPORT...

but..but...but...

maybe the excitement of the weekend is getting into me...or maybe..just maybe..
someone's coming to town..

Guess who's coming...guess who's coming to the small town..

But when I come back to reality, I need to face the fact that the due date for Progress Report is this coming Thursday! And the la creme of everything..? It's test week the same week as well.
After 8 months of Internship, I seriously have no idea how to go through all the tests which are coming.

Wait for the best part. Structural Dynamics, my first test paper. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, don't worry, you aren't the ONLY one.

Feeling slightly bummed with the progress report, decided to browse here and there, when Harpreet suddenly pm-ed me and said, "Wei, come on Facebook! We are tagging one another like mad only..Teehooi is here, and KeeHui! All gila.."

So, me being me, decided to just log into Facebook and was delighted to see old pictures of me, being tagged. And I couldn't believe myself, or rather how I looked before. I was freaking thin then, and now..now..*looks at 'spare-tyre' and cursed*. Internship is jinx.

If you can see the date on the picture, it's on the 1st of March 2008. That's like a year plus ago, and how different we looked then. We look like a bunch of idiots, with flourescent vests, in the middle of the curb, along the main highway. You can see the bags on the ground, inside probably filled with a water bottle, candies and light snacks. See how blur I looked? Well, it was around 8 in the morning, so you can probably imagine how I felt then.

We were supposed to do a traffic survey, as part of our coursework for Transportation Engineering. I think it's pointless for me to explain what the survey was about, but to make things simpler for you and me, let's just say our job was to count cars. (Great, just like my FYP now, my job is to count buses!)

Supposed to be business, but see how we fully utilize the time to take pictures?
That's the Civil Spirit, I supposed. Like how we can mingle around with everyone.I think we amused the public when they drove past us and see how ridiculous we were.

And me, being me..was caught doing..

I miss my W850i! And yeah, the brown hair! I miss it..

I was supposed to come home on Sunday night, after deciding to spend a night in KL. I gave in eventually, considering that it was the National's Independence Day, and who in the right mind would want to spend the eve alone, right? So, we ended up watching a movie, with the sister and her other half. I shall not hide the fact that throughout the days I spend smiling and laughing, but beneath the facade, my mind was pacing with thoughts of my untouched progress report. The progress report which was supposed to be handed in this coming Thursday, which I have failed to even write a single word on the clean sheet of "New" document. I shouldn't be blaming anyone for this, besides my procrastination self. I have put this away far too long and now, it's beginning to eat my conscious. And finally, when my bus touched down in Medan Gopeng this morning, the only thing which I wanted to do so badly, was to rush home, switch on my computer and start typing away with the report. How hard can a 15-page report be?

I ended up spending the afternoon with my parents, for lunch. And then sleeping away the afternoon (or was it the evening?) until I decided to wake up from the dead slumber. I kid you not, I was tired from the constant travelling and the neck rest from the bus ride, was giving me a prick on the neck area. My parents, been asking me why I've not been coming home as frequent as before. "The constant excuse of me not coming back for the weekend" has caused some doubts of what I'm doing in the campus during the weekends. But of course, I am not in during those weekends. At times, I feel bad having to create a white lie..the guilt mounting up.

I know I shouldn't be typing away here, but instead on the Microsoft Office document. But as soon as I see the blank page, my brain immediately freezes itself and I wouldn't be able to type out even a word. I guess I'm just not as technical as the engineers are required.

I may seem to be whining here, and some of you can tell me that it was my own doings for travelling down south, to and fro, every weekend. And don't get the idea that I don't like meeting her after 3 hours of bus ride. I do, as soon as I see her, I feel that every neck pain is worth it. But how long can I sustain the travelling? How long would this take before I realize that my work is being affected? 3 more days to deadline, and I've yet to produce half a page of the report? I don't like how things are at the moment. I hate the idea of being stuck in the middle between my family and her. I don't like the idea that she needs me to be there during the weekends, and my parents needing me during the weekends, and me needing myself during the weekends to do my work. I hate being where I am, now. If you were to tell me this distance thing is not working, perhaps you are right. It's beginning to fail now, as I speak.

I don't like the poison her friends been injecting into her. Like it feels any better when they asked, "Why isn't she down this weekend?" when they didn't know that I was in KL the week before. Or like when they asked, "So when you need someone to be here, she can't be here lor?". What kind of crap is that? There's a reason why long distance are called long distance. You need to be apart for it to be considered as one. Shheeessshhh...Now that's out from my mind, I should probably get started with work.

I remember what MeiLing once told me, "Khian, remember to appreciate what you have now." I just hope some would appreciate what they have now too.