Today I said goodbye to a few friends. Friends graduating from Masters, some moving on to phd, some going back to work in whatever institution/uni that they're affiliated with, some giving their all to save the wildlife in their corrupted countries, some just pray for a job. Only 2 out of the whole lot that presented at today's seminar were not married/engaged. Am I that young, or am I that old?

"We'll be watching your seminar next!" 

Those words remain long after the crowd dispersed.

Yeah, it WILL be me next. Back at crossroads so soon? And I'm pretty sure I'll explode the next time someone asks me about my future plans, or why I'm not sure if I want to do my phd. Years roll by quickly, but isn't life a journey? Would being ahead of the "game" make me any happier? Don't these people ever stop and have a breather? Life, after all, is unpredictable and only that long.

Success!

Finished 20 pages of my major assignment, filled with lots of survey data, comparisons and philosophical stuff. I still find the idea of romanticism in conservation pretty awkward. Nature as purifier of the human spirit? Also turnitin-ed, and got a rather good score. Happiness.

A couple of years ago, writing 2,500 words was pure agony. Now I have to write 6,000-8,000 words papers, and I still go over the word limit at times.

Assignment completed 6 days early - that leaves me slightly over 2 weeks to study. Must study. Yay? "Do or do not, there is no try." Lets see who knows where that quote is from.

I somehow also managed to complete Hospital Hustle in one day. And won a few games of chess on chess titans. Go Michy!

Also, gang member #10, Mr Tan Yee Hou, got me a Twitter account without my knowledge. Like all of a sudden, hey, what's this twitter email notification with the right e-mail, username, and name? How bizarre! Haha. So yuppers, account's twitter.com/monitorlizzie , although I may or may not use it much.

Because my life has been so mundane lately, I consider this extremely interesting. Blog-worthy. Yeah what a loser.

Knowing the klutz that I am, I accidentally burst one of my oil-burn blisters while changing. =(

Before this, I wasn't nervous about the burn at all because I thought meh, I had this the last time. Should be the same. Boy, was I wrong. The thing is, I think my previous burn was so bad it totally burnt off the skin and probably the ends of receptors or something, because I didn't have a blister and it definitely didn't hurt. It was just really rough dark skin which eventually peeled off in a rather scary manner, and that's why I have a lighter patch of skin on my right arm.

This time around, I had blisters, and yeah since one of them burst, first thing that went through my mind was to wash the wound with anti-bacterial soap and use dettol. Oh my gosh. It stung like mad. Geez. Maybe I wasn't supposed to do that. Die la. My first-aid-knowledge is rusty. Le sigh.

Anyway, more dettol cream later and the pink raw patch doesn't hurt anymore. Googled stuff up and most sites say don't use any adhesive dressing. Use gauze. Unfortch, as a student away from home, I never had gauze. The last time I used gauze, I was 12 when my cousin pushed me to a sharp fence, which so accurately pierced my new BCG scar. It was so scary for everyone because it was gory and I had blood streaming down my arm. I don't remember much of it. I know I didn't cry. I was stunned. And I don't even remember who treated me or if I went to the doctors. Oh my gosh. I just realised I don't remember!

So anyway, I had to make do with a band-aid for now. Is that alright? I mean the center bit isn't sticky, right? Hopefully the center bit is large enough to cover the raw skin. And having something over it is better than leaving a raw wound exposed to infection, I suppose? I guess I'll leave it overnight and check on the wound tomorrow. Any suggestions from first-aiders?

I think this is the first interesting thing of the day. Or maybe the week.

Seriously, my life has gotten way too idle since classes have pretty much ended the week before. Last week, I only went to uni on Monday and for $3.50 desserts on Friday night.

The worst bit is me being such a lazy bum! I'm deliberately choosing to rot in my room. Hahaha. Well, I can't even blame Facebook cos I haven't been on it much, neither can I blame tv episodes because I couldn't find the remote to the real tv and there haven't been online episodes last week. I'm just emm...lazy? I never knew it was possible to be this idle for so long.

I've gone over my word limit for my assignment, but I still have an uber long list of things to include. Uh-oh. And of course, I haven't started studying for my paper on the 19th.

Yea, other than that, life is pretty routine. Hello November. I'm not sure if my budgeting plan is working but meh. I think I should start running along the riverside again. Or at the very least use the house treadmill, or just anything. Gaining weight is one thing (not entirely a bad thing for me), but being unhealthy is another. I've just been stuffing myself with lots of chocolates, chips and fruits while doing work. I don't think that's entirely good. Also, that bottle of Smirnoff since our Riverfire party is still in my possession. Le sigh. What to do. You know, I think the last time I drank was during Jabba's gig, which was after my Heron trip. Oh my gosh. I haven't been to Irish Murphy's in that long? I'm missing Jabba and IM's lemon lime bitters already.

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I'm a bit confused as to how a 17-year-old emo-hairstyled, skinny-jeans-wearing Zac/Chase lookalike can sing Bohemian Rhapsody and We Are The Champions so well! I woke up today thinking "ooo...must listen to Queen!" And that was when I remembered this teen that looked out of place but sang Queen songs amazingly on Aussie Idol. I'm not quite sure if I like his performances now as much as I did when he did his Queen covers though. I think he should have kept We Are The Champions to the final 5 (where he sang Mad World  instead - Adam Lambert much?), instead of top 100. Damn buzzkill. Haha. I'm currently fans of Stan Walker (woot!), Hayley Warner (double woot!), and the rather theatrical teen Nathan Brake (didn't like his Bon Jovi cover much though). Overall, Aussie Idol songs are awesome. Well, apart from the typical Lady Gaga choices. Seriously, no one can emulate Lady Gaga. She's like a whole different level.

Oh well. Here I go blabbering again. I shall now watch past episodes of Aussie Idol online and carry on writing.

I wonder if anyone knows or if anyone notices, I like being here, at times. Despite the sudden waves of homesickness occasionally, this distance gives me a sense of tranquillity. 

Here, I am left to defend for myself. So I feel in control of everything, from those little things like managing the house chores, and managing people in any tasks, to big things like making sure I am on the right track to my bright future. I feel grown up and nothing else can stand in my way - even if there is, I can easily sweep them off with a trusty ol' broom. 

I never liked having people telling me I am wrong, because I don't like to lose (including losing face). Instead, I would prefer if I were to discover my mistakes on my own because I like solitary learning. And one more thing, I don't like people telling me what to do, neither do I like telling others what to do. I can only have the elders whom I respect to give me orders. 

Subconsciously, I have built my own comfort zone and shut myself in there, not wanting to change anything or even to budge. Getting out makes me feel threatened, and I might just lose the sense of security that I perpetually give myself.

I admit - I am a control freak. I like being in an arm's length to everything. To control is my nature, and letting myself to be controlled is a form of submission which not many could recognise. This is the way I have been for a long time, and it took me too much time to realise this. 

When I sense that I am losing control, I will lose my composure and I cannot gather my thoughts. I feel helpless, and would just eventually end up quiet, just too quiet. 

And that is when you see a hiatus here. 

Life paced too quickly of late, and it is only these few days, everything has taken a breather and slowed down, giving me much room to pick up the pieces. Everything in my head is a huge mess and I no longer know how to sort it out. 

And oh, this semester, I shut myself out of all the matters regarding the heart. I took everything lightly, not wanting to think so much. I don't want to build anything today when I know it will not sustain tomorrow.  

If you think this update is not juicy enough, it's time for you to keep a lookout for me at Facebook - I frequently update there, through wall posts. 

Seen on a bathroom door:

"I want to live in a world where a chicken's motive to cross the road is not questioned. That would be a perfect world. "

The prettiest not-overly-puffy tutu skirt in the hues of the ocean - different shades of blue, turqouise and green with the slightest hint of beige-pink.

If only I was 5, then maybe I could borrow Trinity's skirt she paired with stripe leggings. Man, she sure fits the punk rocker look very well with her hot pink guitar.

Today, she mixed up "pinky" and "kinky", and when I corrected her, she started rhyming "my pinky is kinky" repeatedly. And told me "sex is rude" when I said "ooo sexy back" when she undid her back zip.

I should start a whole new category of "living with kids".

(word count at the moment: 2050.)

Happy Halloween if you're into that kind of celebration. I opted out from a Halloween party at one of the uni residential colleges. I'm nowhere near the partying kind, so I am quite surprised to have been invited to such parties.

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Added stuff:

5 year old Trinity was bugging me the whole time in the kitchen while I was cooking dinner today. She kept blocking my way thinking it was a game. Oil got too hot, she pushed me when I was putting the chicken in, too-hot oil splattered on my hand, and the smoke alarm went off. So, I was supermum for a minute, trying to make sure the stove goes off, make sure Trinity is away from the stove avoiding her imaginative play props  (at the moment a piece of cardboard is her surfboard, a tv box is a shark and a scarf is her long hair) at the same time, and I had to tiptoe  on a chair (i'm short) to reach the smoke alarm and figure out how to stop it. And what was this kid doing the whole time? Laughing at me!! "That's funny, do it again!" she repeatedly said. It was as if I was playing babysitter dash for a moment, if there's such a game.

I now have 3 red spots on my hand and arm, the exact same spot where I got my massive burn a year or 2 ago just before my exams. Deja vu. It's already "bubbling" so I'm pretty sure I'll get burn blisters (means the skin totally burnt off at that spot), they'll peel off and scare a whole lot of people in the exam hall.

To make matters worse, I thought it was no biggie so I went to have a hot shower after cooking. Not a good idea at all. From what I learnt from first aid, if you have a burn, you should use running cool water for a few minutes. Not hot, not warm, not cold water. Le sigh. I actually only noticed how bad it was when it started hurting after the shower. I've since slopped dettol cream on the spots, so hopefully the blisters won't be that bad.

Now you know why babysitters should be paid so much.